Categories - Garden - Geek - GlobalGood - Going - Goo - Gourmet - Gravitas - Guests

Garden -

My new Friend
I call him Snappy.
Pete - Monday September 19, 2005
The Complete Life History Of A Chilli: Part 11
Pete - Tuesday August 02, 2005
The Complete Life History Of A Chilli: Part 10
Pete - Friday July 15, 2005
The Complete Life History Of A Chilli: Part 9
Pete - Tuesday June 21, 2005
The Complete Life History Of A Chilli: Part 8
Quite Tall Now
Pete - Tuesday May 24, 2005
Return Of Paeonia Lactiflora
Photos from our garden.
Pete - Sunday May 22, 2005
The Complete Life History Of A Chilli: Part 7
So much potential. Poor fella.
Pete - Friday April 29, 2005
Big Red Guy
Photo of a soon-to-be flower
Pete - Monday April 25, 2005
The Complete Life History Of A Chilli: Part 6
Never forget your roots, little guy.
Pete - Sunday April 24, 2005
Things That Make You Go "Ah, poor little fella"
Worms, in both senses.
Pete - Thursday April 14, 2005
The Complete Life History Of A Chilli: Part 5
Little fellas.
Pete - Sunday April 10, 2005
The Complete Life History Of A Chilli: Part 4
Chilli chilli chilli chilli much room, much room.
Pete - Thursday April 07, 2005
The Complete Life History Of A Chilli: Part 3
More of the same, only less so.
Pete - Monday March 28, 2005
The Complete Life History Of A Chilli: Part 2
The appearance of shoots of chillis
Pete - Friday March 25, 2005
The Complete Life History Of A Chilli: Part 1
The birth of chillis
Pete - Sunday March 20, 2005
Floral Tribute
Cellophane-wrapped carnations on graves, unsuitability of.
Karen - Tuesday January 25, 2005
Some garden shots
Photos from our garden.
Pete - Saturday September 04, 2004
Green thing with red bits
Photos from our garden.
Pete - Sunday May 16, 2004

Geek -

Geek Help
Pete is terrified of getting incompatible gear.
Pete - Wednesday September 28, 2005
Having answers makes me less frustrated
More of the same.
Pete - Friday September 23, 2005
I'm frustrated, and have to blog about it
When Pete's computer is behaving badly, it makes him really really anxious.
Pete - Tuesday September 20, 2005
It's that word again
An appearance of the word "weblogs" in a novel. Whatever next?
Pete - Monday September 19, 2005
Meta-Goo 1. Do you believe in the A-list?
Uborka is proud to have fewer than 100 hits per day, and not have sold our souls to google.
Karen - Sunday September 11, 2005
DVD recording
Some techie blah about one of Pete's birthday presents.
Pete - Friday September 09, 2005
Board Meeting at AOL
In my head, as ever.
Pete - Thursday September 01, 2005
Recommended Firefox Extension
Resizable Textarea extension for Firefox
Pete - Thursday August 18, 2005
Who put what in the box?
Karen - Monday August 15, 2005 stopped working?
Change to
Pete - Wednesday July 27, 2005
Absolutely Disgraceful
A couple of unfortunate spam comments.
Pete - Wednesday July 27, 2005
An Idea For The Lazyweb
A fabulous idea.
Pete - Tuesday July 26, 2005
While The Cat's Away
I've been playing computer games this evening.
Pete - Monday July 11, 2005
Krissa and Stuart are lovely too.
Karen - Thursday June 30, 2005
Gmail Notify
A GMail notifier for Linux.
Pete - Monday June 27, 2005
Pretty Damn Awesome
A new notebook that's not from Apple
Karen - Friday June 24, 2005
Why those little.
Pete - Thursday June 23, 2005
Software Patents
Patent absurdity
Pete - Tuesday June 21, 2005
Preferred Chat Clients
Pete summarises his chosen multi-protocol chat clients
Pete - Wednesday May 25, 2005
Microsoft In The Head
One man's privacy is another man's sandwich.
Pete - Monday May 23, 2005
Admittedly there isn't much to complain about with regards to Mac OS X.
Pete - Friday May 20, 2005
Other "Knight In Shining Armour" Moments
Mending computers can sometimes be so simple that it takes you half an hour.
Pete - Thursday May 19, 2005
Don't Know What It's Called
A cute little game that involves dragging around what seems to be a small Bomberman
Pete - Thursday May 19, 2005
New laptop and Kate's spam crisis.
Pete - Wednesday May 18, 2005
Occupational Hazard
Cucumber reference.
Pete - Friday April 29, 2005
CSS Reboot
Inviting suggestions
Pete - Wednesday April 27, 2005
Email DOES NOT affect IQ
Don't believe everything that you read.
Pete - Tuesday April 26, 2005
Linux - Converting Audio Files
Linux makes Karen go sleep-sleep.
Pete - Monday April 11, 2005
Age before beauty
Yes, we really do converse over IM when we're in the same house.
Karen - Friday April 08, 2005
'Geek speak' confuses net users
In which Pete rants.
Pete - Wednesday April 06, 2005
Best. Laptop. Ever.
In which an Amazon page is apparently hacked.
Pete - Wednesday March 23, 2005
How much more could you possibly want to know about Linux stuff?
Pete - Tuesday March 22, 2005
Is it true?
about China...
Karen - Monday March 21, 2005
Not Given Up On Linux Yet
Blah Linux Blah Blah
Pete - Friday March 18, 2005
The Latest Evil
Plaxo fights back!
Pete - Friday March 18, 2005
Plan Of Action: Building A Website
Visual "joke"
Pete - Friday March 04, 2005
A Helpful Flickr-related suggestion
In which Pete explains how he found out about the flickr upload quota the hard way.
Pete - Saturday February 19, 2005
Deal Breaker?
In which Pete agonises over the decision as to whether Linux is actually going to be right for him in the long run.
Pete - Sunday February 13, 2005
More useful Linux links
Some sites that I found useful whilst switching to linux.
Pete - Saturday February 12, 2005
Installing Linux
Pete finally makes the switch from Windows to Linux, after all these years.
Pete - Friday February 11, 2005
A Small Discovery
Review of Crimson Editor - a freeware source code editor for Windows
Pete - Tuesday February 01, 2005
Turn On?
In which Pete gives hard facts about whether it is best to leave your computer on all the time, or turn it off.
Pete - Thursday January 27, 2005
In which Pete muses on RSS
Pete - Tuesday January 25, 2005
New Amiga
Pete fondly recalls his old Amiga 500
Pete - Tuesday January 18, 2005
Dumbass phones
Rant about the (apparently unadjustable) volume level of the shutter sound on my new phone
Pete - Saturday January 15, 2005
An offer you can't refuse
Yahoo's pages fall out of date in an amusing fashion
Pete - Thursday January 13, 2005
In which Pete buys himself a Christmas present
Pete - Monday December 27, 2004
The 34sp Festive Gift
In which Pete sends thanks to his hosting provider for upgrading his account.
Pete - Sunday December 05, 2004
The Buffer Overflow - In Layman's Terms
In which Pete teaches you all how to crack Microsoft programs
Pete - Friday November 26, 2004
Browser Share
How amazing is Firefox?
Pete - Monday November 15, 2004
Meeting internet friends in real life.
Karen - Sunday September 26, 2004
Another Blaster Victim
Something to do with viriii.
Pete - Friday September 24, 2004
Girls' Night Out
Email rejection service.
Karen - Friday September 24, 2004
Found links
Plenty to keep you all amused.
Pete - Wednesday June 30, 2004
Blame attribution
Pete deletes the entire blog.
Pete - Tuesday April 13, 2004

GlobalGood -

The difficult dilemma of the would-be ethical consumer
Is it better to buy from retailers who I know have ethical compliance programmes, even though I know their factories are awful?
Karen - Tuesday October 04, 2005
Not a drop to drink
It's not cheaper, healthier, or more environmentally friendlier to drink bottled water.
Karen - Wednesday September 14, 2005
Walk All Night
Help Pix to walk for charity.
Karen - Tuesday September 06, 2005
In which Pete states his feelings on the aftermath of the hurricane.
Pete - Friday September 02, 2005
Overfilling the Kettle
Eco Kettle not required
Karen - Monday August 08, 2005
I'll Be Back
Arnie goes sweatshop-bustin'.
Karen - Wednesday August 03, 2005
Sweatshop: a dirty word
Nike objects to the use of the word sweatshop
Karen - Wednesday July 27, 2005
My G8 Moment
Vandalising the wristband
Karen - Saturday July 02, 2005
Bad show, Sony
Large corporations throwing their weight around AGAIN.
Pete - Thursday June 30, 2005
Reasons to use a Mac #149*
Microsoft installs Newspeak on Chinese computers.
Karen - Thursday June 16, 2005
Net Nanny Chinese Style
Marxist spam.
Karen - Tuesday June 14, 2005
Don't be scared, it's just my opinion
Opinions are those of the author only yadda yadda yah.
Pete - Tuesday June 14, 2005
Make Tat History
Make Poverty History campaign caught with its fingers in the sweatshop.
Karen - Thursday June 09, 2005
A Song about Chicken
Table-manners critically threatened by advert.
Karen - Thursday June 02, 2005
Mutual back-scratching is good for fingers
No such thing as altruism
Karen - Friday May 27, 2005
USA shoots itself in the little cotton socks
The foolishness of America's ways.
Karen - Monday May 23, 2005
Outside the Law
Arbeit macht frei.
Karen - Saturday May 21, 2005
The Progress Paradox
Won't somebody please think of the Chinese?
Karen - Monday April 18, 2005
A change of direction
Here's hoping that the daily grind will become less grindsome.
Karen - Tuesday March 15, 2005
Ethical Living
Small ways to bring less tat into the world.
Karen - Monday February 21, 2005
Fringe Benefits
Bank accounts for people with no money.
Karen - Sunday November 14, 2004
Why we should all boycott Bonfire Night
Hypocrisy and the burning of the guy.
Karen - Saturday November 06, 2004
The Uborka Cut-out And Keep Collection: Marketing Calls To Your Mobile
Unsolicited sales calls.
Pete - Tuesday October 19, 2004

Going -

End of Innocence
Prague revisited.
Karen - Thursday August 25, 2005
We're Back!
Something to do with keys, I think.
Pete - Thursday August 25, 2005
A Year In Travel
Join Sweatshop Busters and SEE THE WORLD!
Karen - Thursday August 18, 2005
Pictures are up!
Photos from China and Hong Kong
Karen - Tuesday July 26, 2005
What about Frankfurt?
Pete - Friday July 22, 2005
Things to do in Hong Kong Airport
with only 50HKD left.
Karen - Friday July 22, 2005
Also not eaten: cow's stomach, pig's ear
Karen - Thursday July 21, 2005
More Fake Stuff
Splendid China, where the bushes sing.
Karen - Tuesday July 19, 2005
Hey! Missy! Looky!
Shopping in Lohou
Karen - Monday July 18, 2005
It's all greek to me
Chopsticks, and other mysteries
Karen - Sunday July 17, 2005
All over the road
Driving in China
Karen - Friday July 15, 2005
Chinese Takeaway
Really nice food
Karen - Tuesday July 12, 2005
Urgent request from 1000 miles away
Hong Kong
Karen - Sunday July 10, 2005
Pete - Friday July 08, 2005
Eight Mile
My day out in London
Karen - Friday July 08, 2005
An Open Letter To The Emergency Services
You guys are the best. I take my hat off to you....
Pete - Thursday July 07, 2005
Explosions in London
Worries and speculation
Pete - Thursday July 07, 2005
Two Danubes
Pete - Wednesday June 01, 2005
New York Diary 2
Karen's week in NYC, prior to Pete's arrival.
Karen - Thursday May 12, 2005
New York Diary
Concise and linkful account of everything I did in New York
Pete - Wednesday May 11, 2005
Manhattan Skyline 2
Another photo of New York
Karen - Wednesday May 11, 2005
Manhattan Skyline
Manhattan skyline photo
Pete - Monday May 09, 2005
Furry Brain
I think that this might be gibberish.
Pete - Monday May 09, 2005
Last Minute Panic
Barcode? What barcode?
Pete - Monday May 02, 2005
Rough Ideas
A question for the Uborkites.
Karen - Wednesday April 20, 2005
Hats off to Venice
Masquerades in Venice
Karen - Saturday February 12, 2005
Quote of the Day
Karen - Wednesday September 22, 2004
Incy Wincy Spider
Once upon a time there was a little girl, who was about ten years old, and had been sent on an extended holiday, to stay with her aunt and uncle on the other side of the world. She missed her...
Karen - Monday July 19, 2004
Lake District
Lakes Photo Diary.
Pete - Sunday June 27, 2004
Postcard from Italy
Imola, Italy.
Karen - Tuesday June 01, 2004

Goo -

His First Drawing
Pete - Monday June 11, 2007
Once again, I owe you an explanation
Why our absence?
Pete - Sunday January 01, 2006
Closed For Business For Now
Pete - Tuesday October 11, 2005
A rare invitation to drinks.
Karen - Friday October 07, 2005
Pete can read my mind
At the risk of sounding all krissa, isn't he wonderful?
Karen - Thursday October 06, 2005
Things For This Morning
Pete gibbers about chillis and computer. Couldn't figure out which category to put it in, so it goes in Goo.
Pete - Wednesday October 05, 2005
Seppy still hangs around our garden, cleaning self on the fencepost, or leaving parcels of shit on the lawn, or on the edge of the patio. She's also taken to sleeping on our garden table. Wild horses wouldn't have any...
Pete - Friday September 30, 2005
1000 songs and a one-track mind
The iPod is now open for advice.
Karen - Thursday September 29, 2005
Goo, Literally (2)
(Follows on from here) The layer of green goo is now about an inch thick, forming a luxurious yet moist carpet. I had to park my car over in that corner yesterday morning. I opened the door and put my...
Pete - Tuesday September 27, 2005
Getting the snip
I wish I could just shave it all off.
Karen - Monday September 26, 2005
Talk like a pirate day
Pete - Monday September 19, 2005
Kiss & Make Up
Need not be read by boys. Except for those sorts of boys.
Karen - Friday September 16, 2005
Who Is Seppy?
Pete - Tuesday September 13, 2005
Goo, Literally
In which Pete struggles to care.
Pete - Tuesday September 13, 2005
Things that are crap
Moaning about too much work and not enough comfort.
Karen - Monday September 12, 2005
My Week
Dull post about my working week. Just for the sake of writing something, really.
Karen - Saturday September 10, 2005
Touched by Royalty
Resist the urge to sue.
Pete - Saturday September 03, 2005
A rather disturbing morning
I had an awful time of it this morning.
Pete - Thursday September 01, 2005
One last view of Reading Festival
I see things from a different perspective to Pete, because I am quite a lot shorter.
Karen - Wednesday August 31, 2005
Oh how we want a cat.
Pete - Wednesday August 31, 2005
So cruel.
Pete - Tuesday August 30, 2005
Squash Strategy
Warning: childish and immature
Pete - Saturday August 20, 2005
LiveBlogging Monopoly
A game of monopoly in realtime, oh yeah.
Pete - Monday August 15, 2005
Thursday, 26 degrees
Rain stopped play.
Karen - Friday August 12, 2005
How To Be An Owl: Part Five
How to have an owl's diet
Pete - Friday August 12, 2005
How To Be An Owl: Part Four
Night vision
Pete - Thursday August 11, 2005
How To Be An Owl: Part Three
How to fly
Pete - Wednesday August 10, 2005
How To Be An Owl: Part "Too-wit" Two
How to do the trick with the turning of the head
Pete - Tuesday August 09, 2005
How To Be An Owl: Part One
How to look like an owl
Pete - Monday August 08, 2005
Head-turning is an optional extra
This week, I'm going to be an owl.
Pete - Sunday August 07, 2005
Spot the hidden Pulp lyrics.
Karen - Friday July 29, 2005
Chinese cocktails
Like chinese checkers, but with more vodka.
Karen - Friday July 29, 2005
Community Spirit
Stuart reading my mind.
Pete - Thursday July 28, 2005
What On Earth Is Going On In London?
Breaking News
Pete - Thursday July 21, 2005
Get a grip
Pete overreacts to something. AGAIN!
Pete - Friday July 15, 2005
Long, and whiny.
Pete - Sunday July 10, 2005
The Cocktails of Death
Moribund cocktails
Karen - Friday July 01, 2005
I've got the day off
Another day off: another cocktail party.
Karen - Friday July 01, 2005
Chewing gum is disgusting.
Karen - Monday June 27, 2005
£20,000 before breakfast
This morning's earnings.
Pete - Thursday June 23, 2005
Cocktail Nostalgia
Capitalising on an unexpected opportunity to serve cocktails
Karen - Friday June 17, 2005
A bright idea one Friday lunchtime.
Pete - Friday June 17, 2005
Pillow Talk
A joke. Of sorts.
Pete - Monday June 13, 2005
There are worse things than being eaten
I hope Bob Parsons doesn't read this. He'd post a comment, and then I'd be drawn into debate, which would bore me to tears.
Pete - Monday June 13, 2005
Important Notice about Parties and the Forthcoming Summer
Summer blogmeet.
Karen - Tuesday June 07, 2005
Saved Game
The no-longer-single censor gets to work.
Karen - Wednesday June 01, 2005
Long post (about 1.7 londonmarks)
Coupledom: the death of interesting blogs?
Pete - Friday May 27, 2005
George Lucas Says
Slight nonsense.
Pete - Sunday May 22, 2005
Luckydip Afterlife
Tickets for the afterlife
Karen - Tuesday May 17, 2005
JGuitar is a set of useful tools for players of stringed instruments.
Pete - Friday April 22, 2005
The Shoe Project
Green wedge sandals.
Karen - Sunday April 17, 2005
Pop Idol
Rufus Wainwright stole our hearts.
Karen - Tuesday April 12, 2005
Why April Fool's Day Sucks
In which Pete rants, only this time, it is pointlessly so.
Pete - Friday April 01, 2005
This weekend
Why do mothers always turn you into a teenager again?
Karen - Friday April 01, 2005
Our shour
Bathroom. Funny.
Pete - Friday March 25, 2005
The Trial
The story of the evil contact lenses.
Karen - Sunday March 20, 2005
Everything but the junk drawer
Kitchen meme
Karen - Saturday March 19, 2005
What larks?
Waking up too early on a Saturday morning.
Karen - Saturday March 19, 2005
Happy St Patrick's Day!
In which we celebrate the day of fake irishmen swilling green guinness
Pete - Thursday March 17, 2005
The University Challenge Game
How to make the best TV programme of the week even more fun.
Karen - Monday March 14, 2005
Why did I write this song on that one day?
How Pete and I would have got together anyway, one way or another.
Karen - Friday March 11, 2005
The Return Of FEEA
The return of the system for evaluating pastimes and distractions
Pete - Thursday March 10, 2005
First Tango in Berkshire
Ballroom dancing and squash as an alternative to going to the gym.
Karen - Tuesday March 08, 2005
The Evil Of Advertising
In which Pete rants mildly.
Pete - Thursday March 03, 2005
Law and Law. Order if you're lucky.
In which Pete rants mildly about the number of laws which we are obliged to follow these days.
Pete - Friday February 25, 2005
Fighting Over Foxes And Football
Why can't we all just get along?
Pete - Thursday February 24, 2005
Meaningless drivel.
Karen - Thursday February 17, 2005
Lying in Interviews
On getting jobs under false pretences.
Karen - Sunday January 30, 2005
The mind boggles. Sometimes.
Pete - Thursday January 27, 2005
John Hargrove's Credit Card Prank
John Hargrove sees how far he can push it, by signing credit card receipts with signatures that differ from the signature on his card.
Pete - Friday January 14, 2005
born. eat. shag. die
The Mayfly Project for 2004
Karen - Thursday January 13, 2005
General rant about Christmas
The same thing Karen posts every year about christmas cards.
Karen - Wednesday December 22, 2004
Hppy Txts
Good news on my phone.
Karen - Thursday December 16, 2004
Deck the halls with piles of tat
The European Tat Mountain is exposed.
Karen - Tuesday December 14, 2004
An Apology
An apology for being hungover on Saturday night, and subsequently coming across as being a bit antisocial.
Pete - Sunday December 12, 2004
A Creative Approach
Karen misses out on classics.
Karen - Monday December 06, 2004
The Uborka Advent Calendar
Introducing the Uborka Advent Calendar 2004
Pete - Wednesday December 01, 2004
Karen spends too much on hair product.
Karen - Tuesday November 30, 2004
Sturmy Skies
Karen moans about her new job.
Karen - Saturday November 27, 2004
Old hair, New colour
Karen's hair.
Pete - Saturday November 20, 2004
A system for evaluating pastimes and distractions.
Pete - Thursday November 11, 2004
The devil and the deep blue sea
Pete cooks the tea.
Karen - Wednesday November 10, 2004
The last buzz home
On working in a vibrator factory.
Karen - Wednesday November 03, 2004
A Good Job, Well Done
About Karen being happy in her job.
Karen - Friday October 29, 2004
Will O' The Wisp
My stepfather, the secret smoker.
Karen - Monday October 25, 2004
Dry Friday
Self-service cocktails.
Karen - Friday October 22, 2004
Industrious Windustrious Spider
Terrifying picture.
Pete - Saturday October 16, 2004
Cocktails and Weddings II
Karen - Friday October 15, 2004
Cognitive Dissonance
On commuting.
Karen - Thursday October 07, 2004
Threat To Masculinity
There's actually nothing wrong with cushions.
Pete - Monday October 04, 2004
Last Will and Testament
Teenage dreams, so hard to beat.
Karen - Monday October 04, 2004
The Pizza Wheel
A damn good birthday present.
Karen - Saturday October 02, 2004
Friday nights like you've never seen them before
In which he beats her at Monopoly. Again.
Pete - Friday October 01, 2004
Dotting the Eyes
In which my boss annoys me.
Karen - Thursday September 30, 2004
The Wrong Toybox
Sex toys.
Karen - Sunday September 26, 2004
Quote of the Day
Watch your mouth!
Karen - Monday September 20, 2004
More Job Blogging [because it is so NOW*]
Job blogging: The Recruitment Industry III
Karen - Monday September 20, 2004
17 Points for Cocktails
Cocktails and Scrabble II
Karen - Friday September 17, 2004
I managed to finish the biscuits today
Job Blogging: The Recruitment Industry II
Karen - Thursday September 16, 2004
People who came into the office today
Job Blogging: The Recruitment Industry I
Karen - Wednesday September 15, 2004
May 1979 Lancaster Canal
Karen & Nick.
Karen - Friday September 10, 2004
Cocktails and Americans II
Karen - Friday September 10, 2004
And so... uh...
Blog consequences: The final chapter.
Pete - Friday September 03, 2004
Toe problems
I stubbed my toe earlier today. Everyone accused me of hobbling round and making a big meal of it, but it's bright purple now. I'm afraid that it's going to turn black and drop off. I took a photo of...
Pete - Sunday August 22, 2004
Other People's Kinks
Despite the opinions of current and former colleagues, I am not the world's most prudish woman. You know this; you've seen my shoes. I would like to think of myself as an open-minded and tolerant kind of person, but frankly,...
Karen - Thursday August 12, 2004
Come one, come all. Hell, just come.
Welcome one and all to the cocktail enjoyment process. First, may I begin by saying that I've been on holiday to Brighton today, and none of you have. Hah. I shall now dispense the beveragatude as rapidly as possible, before...
Pete - Friday July 30, 2004
A Bushy-Tailed Gentleman
Karen - Saturday July 24, 2004
Cockroach Hour
And here I am, for the second week running, serving drinks to the masses. And this week, as a special treat, the drinkies will have extra, exciting, added ingredients. Yum, I hear you cry. We'll see about that. I have...
Karen - Friday July 23, 2004
Thunderbugs are apparently also known as thrips. Their primary characteristic is that they get on your chips when you're by the seaside. They appear in hot weather, tiny and black like a plague of grocers apostophe's [sic]. I haven't...
Karen - Wednesday July 21, 2004
Isn't it obvious?
Karen - Wednesday July 14, 2004
Carpent With Pete 1
Carpentry in the rain.
Pete - Saturday July 03, 2004
Forthcoming carpentry
Without even the help of Ewan.
Pete - Friday July 02, 2004
A story about bicycles
Pete announces that he wants to have babies.
Pete - Friday July 02, 2004
In other news...
Karen - Tuesday June 29, 2004
Because I value your opinion
Karen - Thursday June 03, 2004
I'm ashamed. Why am I telling you all this?
Pete torches some defenceless spiders.
Pete - Sunday May 30, 2004
Hit and Myth
In which the Uborkites are invited to settle an argument.
Karen - Thursday May 06, 2004
The whole of the moon
Lunar eclipse
Karen - Wednesday May 05, 2004
Good Ikea
Karen's new desk (and no slippers)
Karen - Saturday May 01, 2004
Cat pictures
Graybo the cat.
Pete - Saturday April 24, 2004
Drawering to a close
This should probably be in the Geek category.
Pete - Tuesday April 20, 2004

Gourmet -

World of Food
All the goodies we bring back from around the world.
Karen - Sunday October 02, 2005
Making Juice
Who said our grapes would never amount to anything?
Pete - Sunday September 25, 2005
Beer Inventory
Beer tangent
Pete - Tuesday September 06, 2005
Fruit Quiz
Guess the name of the funny-looking fruit.
Karen - Monday July 25, 2005
I Swear, I Followed The Instructions Exactly
Perhaps the instructions were slightly wrong.
Pete - Thursday July 21, 2005
A nice cup of tea
Get the dope on flying home from Switzerland.
Karen - Saturday May 21, 2005
Bad Pie Experience
Mmmm... pie. Or, in this case, AARRGH! PIE!
Pete - Monday March 14, 2005
Enclosed Are Oil
The reason for the nonsensical comments on this photo are because I was simultaneously doing three things.
Pete - Tuesday March 08, 2005
A really good stuffed aubergine recipe
Aubergine stuffed with sweet potato and other - um - stuff.
Karen - Saturday January 22, 2005
Juicy rare mistake
Delia gets it wrong.
Karen - Tuesday January 18, 2005
Christmas at the Salthouse Harbour Hotel.
Karen - Tuesday December 28, 2004
Butternut Squash Lasagne
An improvement on the BBC recipe.
Karen - Saturday December 18, 2004
In which Karen vows to fight to the finish. Yes, she *is* Popeye the Sailorman.
Karen - Monday December 13, 2004
Seamless segue...
Lots of wine.
Pete - Friday November 19, 2004
The devil and the deep blue sea
Pete cooks the tea.
Karen - Wednesday November 10, 2004
The devil and the deep blue sea
Pete cooks the tea.
Karen - Wednesday November 10, 2004
Pub Lunches
Restaurant reviews: various in the Thames Valley.
Karen - Wednesday October 27, 2004
The Christ on a Bike Restaurant Rating Scale
Christ on a Bike.
Karen - Tuesday October 19, 2004
A Pain in the Right Eye
Restaurant review: Tapas and Migraines.
Karen - Thursday October 14, 2004
Thai Square, Windsor
Restaurant review: The Thai Square, Windsor.
Karen - Wednesday October 13, 2004
No! Sushi
Restaurant Review: Yo! Sushi.
Karen - Monday October 11, 2004
Restaurant Review
Restaurant Review: The Royal India.
Pete - Sunday October 10, 2004
For your own good
King size chocolate bar ban.
Karen - Tuesday September 28, 2004
That salty greek perversion
I must confess, I do have a bit of a thing for greek salad, particularly that delicious crumbly cheese, all moist and tangy. It tastes almost as good on the eye as on the tongue. Pete and I have just...
Karen - Sunday August 08, 2004
Karen's Inkomplete Kookery Klass
Karen - Monday June 07, 2004
Kitchen Nightmares
In which Karen runs a hotel.
Karen - Wednesday April 28, 2004

Gravitas -

Youth, Impetuosity, Ignorance
Book review: Possession, by A.S. Byatt; and mention of The Virgin In The Garden and Babel Tower, by the same author. Also a coincidence.
Karen - Saturday October 01, 2005
Backwards and Forwards
Book reviews: The Long View, by Elizabeth Jane Howard The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan.
Karen - Wednesday September 28, 2005
Karen tries to trick Pete into going to see a period drama at the cinema.
Karen - Saturday September 24, 2005
Classic Uborka That You May Have Forgotten
Let's go back in time... doo doo doo doo...
Pete - Thursday September 15, 2005
A little survey
When the analog TV signal is turned off (in 2008?), what will YOU do?
Pete - Monday September 12, 2005
The most beautiful book in the world
Book review: Four Letters of Love, by Niall Williams
Karen - Monday September 05, 2005
Three more books
Book reviews: Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie Birds Without Wings by Louis de Bernieres Regeneration by Pat Barker
Karen - Saturday September 03, 2005
Online book swapping doesn't really work.
Karen - Thursday September 01, 2005
Reading Festival 2005: Day 3
The conclusion.
Pete - Monday August 29, 2005
Reading Festival 2005: Day 2
The weekend, and the review, continues.
Pete - Sunday August 28, 2005
Reading Festival 2005: Day 1
Review of the first day of the Reading Festival 2005
Pete - Saturday August 27, 2005
Help the Bombadier
Not a review of Catch 22.
Karen - Wednesday August 17, 2005
Suspension of Disbelief
Book reviews: One Of Us, by Michael Marshall Smith; & 100 Strokes of the brush before bedtime, by Melissa P.
Karen - Sunday August 14, 2005
Mostly set in China
Book reviews: Shanghai Baby, by Zhou Wei Hui Winter, by Len Deighton The Kitchen God's Wife, by Amy Tan
Karen - Thursday July 28, 2005
On Deadly Crud
Brief critique of Steven Segal's acting skills.
Pete - Wednesday July 20, 2005
Prepostrophes: A Series
Outrageous punctuation
Karen - Sunday July 03, 2005
Unnatural Passions
Book review: Unnatural Passions by Jenny Diski
Karen - Saturday July 02, 2005
I'm not too proud to do memes
A meme about time.
Karen - Friday July 01, 2005
The long, long hours
Book review: The Hours by Michael Cunningham
Karen - Thursday June 30, 2005
Condensed Milk
Book review: The Sea Change, by Elizabeth Jane Howard
Karen - Saturday June 25, 2005
How did they figure out his name?
Really, who cares?
Pete - Saturday June 18, 2005
Nipples like two pink cherries embedded in brown sugar
Book review: The Virgin Suicides, by Jeffrey Eugenides.
Karen - Saturday June 18, 2005
Nipples like garbanzos
Book review: Daughter of Fortune, by Isabel Allende.
Karen - Friday June 17, 2005
Shouldn't have to choose...
Book review: Five Quarters of the Orange, by Joanne Harris
Karen - Wednesday June 15, 2005
Practical Magic
Book review: Practical Magic, by Alice Hoffman.
Karen - Wednesday June 15, 2005
CD Sorting
Apologies for the abrupt ending - I realised that I didn't really have a point.
Pete - Sunday June 12, 2005
Oh, gee!
Book review: The Line of Beauty, by Alan Hollinghurst
Karen - Friday June 10, 2005
That there is one damn fine coat you're wearin'
Review of the movie Sin City
Pete - Monday June 06, 2005
Worthy Tome
Book review: No Logo, by Naomi Klein
Karen - Friday June 03, 2005
Musicians need to stop putting "hidden tracks" on CDs
They really do. And here's why.
Pete - Friday June 03, 2005
Tried, I Really Have Tried
He rants at a pop band! Whatever next?
Pete - Tuesday May 24, 2005
The fart-by-fart report on Eurovision 2005
Pete - Saturday May 21, 2005
Hard work
The fart-by-fart report on Eurovision 2005
Pete - Saturday May 21, 2005
The Weirdest Thing Of All
The fart-by-fart report on Eurovision 2005
Pete - Saturday May 21, 2005
This is so fucking exciting
The fart-by-fart report on Eurovision 2005
Pete - Saturday May 21, 2005
Geography cont'd
The fart-by-fart report on Eurovision 2005
Pete - Saturday May 21, 2005
The fart-by-fart report on Eurovision 2005
Pete - Saturday May 21, 2005
The fart-by-fart report on Eurovision 2005
Karen - Saturday May 21, 2005
The Real Reason
The fart-by-fart report on Eurovision 2005
Pete - Saturday May 21, 2005
No points yet
The fart-by-fart report on Eurovision 2005
Pete - Saturday May 21, 2005
Portugese Point Returner
The fart-by-fart report on Eurovision 2005
Pete - Saturday May 21, 2005
After The Austrians' Scores
The fart-by-fart report on Eurovision 2005
Pete - Saturday May 21, 2005
Past Winners and their lyrics
The fart-by-fart report on Eurovision 2005
Pete - Saturday May 21, 2005
Power Out
The fart-by-fart report on Eurovision 2005
Pete - Saturday May 21, 2005
Croatia Can't Win
The fart-by-fart report on Eurovison 2005
Pete - Saturday May 21, 2005
Missed All The Good Stuff
The fart-by-fart report on Eurovison 2005
Pete - Saturday May 21, 2005
Two more books
2 book reviews: The Time-Traveller's Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger; and Small Island by Andrea Levy.
Karen - Friday May 13, 2005
Water Balloon Analogy
In which I compare writing songs to filling water balloons
Pete - Wednesday May 11, 2005
Songs titled Closer
Pete - Saturday April 30, 2005
Another Re-read
Book review: Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit, by Jeanette Winterson
Karen - Tuesday April 26, 2005
Like A Jelly
Book review: 1984 by George Orwell
Karen - Friday April 22, 2005
The Under Toad
Book review: The World According To Garp, by John Irving
Karen - Saturday April 16, 2005
On The Town
Essential reading for New York?
Karen - Wednesday April 13, 2005
The Book Meme
qB gave me a meme, and I was stuck for content, so here it is.
Karen - Saturday April 09, 2005
No noise nor silence, but one equal music
Book review: An Equal Music by Vikram Seth
Karen - Tuesday April 05, 2005
Doctor No-one
Actor Christopher Eccleston has quit as Doctor Who after just one episode of the new series has been screened, the BBC has confirmed.
Pete - Thursday March 31, 2005
Surprisingly Good TV
Comments on Doctor Who, Joey and Help.
Karen - Monday March 28, 2005
Just keep passing the open windows
Book review: The Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving
Karen - Wednesday March 23, 2005
Worst Sex Ever
Film Review: Showgirls
Pete - Tuesday March 22, 2005
People always clap for the wrong things
Book review: The Catcher In The Rye, by JD Salinger
Karen - Saturday March 12, 2005
Best. Trailer. Ever.
Anything about HHGG is bound to be really geeky. This should be filed in Geek.
Pete - Friday March 11, 2005
Organised Jollity Alert
Mike's charity disco.
Karen - Wednesday March 09, 2005
Thank You
I like it when people send me random stuff off my wishlist. Wish it happened more often.
Karen - Wednesday March 09, 2005
Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby
Book review: Not the end of the world, by Kate Atkinson
Karen - Friday March 04, 2005
Teenage Goth
Suggestions for a CD for the Goth Sister.
Karen - Tuesday March 01, 2005
Book of the Year: 2005
Book review: A Prayer For Owen Meany, by John Irving
Karen - Tuesday March 01, 2005
Passion in a damp barge
Book review: The Four-Chambered Heart, Anais Nin
Karen - Tuesday February 22, 2005
Lifeless, dreamy disquiet
Book review: Mary, by Vladimir Nabokov
Karen - Saturday February 19, 2005
The Kevin Bacon Game
Film Review [of a sort]: Footloose
Karen - Tuesday February 15, 2005
Choose your own clee-shay
Book reviews: Blackberry Wine: Joanne Harris The Haunted Hotel: Wilkie Collins Venice - Tales of the City: [ed] Michelle Lovric Fear of de Sade: Bernado Carvalho
Karen - Sunday February 13, 2005
Freedom for just one night
Book review: The Powerbook: Jeanette Winterson
Karen - Wednesday February 02, 2005
Donnie Darko - Review by Karen
Donnie Darko - Review by Karen
Donkey - Sunday January 30, 2005
Sub-Nietzschean Short Stories
Book review: Death In Venice & Other Stories: Thomas Mann
Karen - Friday January 28, 2005
Uborka Filmclub
Filmclub returns - Donnie Darko!
Donkey - Monday January 24, 2005
A very rude book
Book review: Submission by Marthe Blau
Karen - Sunday January 23, 2005
Closer - Review by Pixeldiva
Closer - Review by Pixeldiva
Donkey - Friday January 21, 2005
A peculiar love story
Book review: The Passion by Jeanette Winterson
Karen - Friday January 21, 2005
Closer - Three more reviews
Closer - Three more reviews
Donkey - Thursday January 20, 2005
Closer - Review by Lori Smith
Closer - Review by Lori Smith
Donkey - Wednesday January 19, 2005
Closer - Donkey's Thoughts
Donkey's review of Closer
Donkey - Wednesday January 19, 2005
The one thing we've got more of
Book review: Lucky by Alice Sebold
Karen - Monday January 17, 2005
Musical Meme
A content-free moment on a Sunday afternoon.
Karen - Sunday January 16, 2005
Calling Thames Valley Bloggers
Invitation to see Closer.
Karen - Friday January 14, 2005
Book of the Year: 2005
Book review: The Woman in White: Wilkie Collins
Karen - Wednesday January 12, 2005
This Whole Film Club Thing
Donkey introduces the Uborka film club. With style.
Donkey - Tuesday January 11, 2005
The Uborka! 2005 Film Club
A nice change from books.
Karen - Thursday January 06, 2005
All about books this year - Part 6
The award for That makes no sense: Mr Landen Has No Brain by Stephen Walker.
Pete - Wednesday January 05, 2005
All about books this year - Part 5
The award for It's not just for kids: His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman.
Pete - Tuesday January 04, 2005
All about books this year - Part 4
The award for The guys who defined the genre and I have only just bothered to read them: William Gibson and Arthur C Clarke.
Pete - Tuesday January 04, 2005
All about books this year - Part 3
The award for Overrated? You betcha!: The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown.
Pete - Monday January 03, 2005
All about books this year - Part 2
The award for Classic novel which I should have really read a long time ago: Lord of the Flies by William Golding.
Pete - Sunday January 02, 2005
All about books this year - Part 1
The award for New discovery which I have overindulged in and now regret it: Robert Rankin
Pete - Saturday January 01, 2005
The Uborka! Top Ten Books of the Year 2004
The best of the 67 books that Karen read during 2004.
Karen - Friday December 31, 2004
My Christmas Gift To The World
Pete performs "Have Yourself A Merry Christmas"
Pete - Wednesday December 15, 2004
Withstanding Obfuscation
A small rant about how every single show that I go to seems to end in a standing ovation. Even if it is shit.
Pete - Sunday December 05, 2004
Two thirds of an album review
Album Review: U2 - How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb
Karen - Saturday November 20, 2004
Whalefish, Whalefish, Whalefish
Book Review: Herman Melville - Moby Dick
Karen - Monday November 01, 2004
John Peel dies
Pete - Tuesday October 26, 2004
What Not To Watch
A dire TV show.
Karen - Thursday October 21, 2004
Smell Tickets, but can't see them
Rant about ordering tickets.
Pete - Wednesday October 20, 2004
For fuck's sake
Observations on The Eagles and Gloria Gaynor.
Pete - Friday October 08, 2004
A grower and a stayer
Get to the Next Screen.
Karen - Wednesday October 06, 2004
My new instrument
The Picasso bass.
Pete - Sunday September 26, 2004
Truth and Beauty
Book Review: Mark Sturdy - Truth & Beauty: The Story of Pulp
Karen - Wednesday September 08, 2004
Glorious Mud
Reading Festival 2005
Karen - Tuesday September 07, 2004
The Trial
Film Preview: The Terminal
Karen - Monday September 06, 2004
This Much I Know
Rufus Wainwright.
Karen - Sunday September 05, 2004
Once Upon A Time...
Adrian started our story... I was in Israel. I met a girl. She seemed nice. I wanted to kiss her. I didn't. I'm shy. I wrote her an 8 page letter. In the dark. I have no idea what I...
Karen - Saturday August 28, 2004
Summer Storm
Unbrella'd, I walked home. Single spots of rain soaked my shirt, And the wind whipped up a cloud of dandelion clocks Like the insignificant tumbleweed in an empty comments box. I lay down underneath the storm, Listening to thunder clogging...
Karen - Thursday August 05, 2004
I wandered lonely, As a whelk that swims in deep Blue ocean* waters. *pron. o-shun, not oh-shee-un. It matters....
Pete - Saturday July 31, 2004
The Cocktail EP
For a year I lived on my own without a television or a computer, and with neighbours who liked Meatloaf. I bought a stereo to drown them out, and also because people kept raving about the new Massive Attack album,...
Karen - Friday July 16, 2004
We'll use the one thing we've got more of
I've got lots of reasons for choosing Mis-Shapes by Pulp to go on the Uborka Mix CD. The first was the way that it changed the way that I thought about myself. Before I heard this song, I was a...
Pete - Thursday July 15, 2004
It's a town full of losers
I've got it: my favourite song ever, and I suspect that you're mostly going to hate it, which makes it good revenge for Morrissey: Thunder Road by Bruce Springsteen, whose dreary outlook was oh so much more poetical than The...
Karen - Tuesday July 13, 2004
The concrete is always greyer on the other side of the picket fence
Judy Rumbold
Karen - Monday May 03, 2004
Leader of the Bat: A Musical
A medley.
Karen - Sunday May 02, 2004
A poem
The one about the pencil.
Pete - Wednesday April 28, 2004

Guests -

Promptly got killed on the next zebra crossing
A short story by the Uborkites.
destructor - Monday September 13, 2004
Chapter IX: The Timidity Plea
At the trial I decided to represent myself. My testimonial ran as follows: Over the course of the first year of their marriage, somewhere in the east, I'd gouged out her eyes with my trusted knife and I think the...
Doctor Pockless - Thursday September 02, 2004
Chapter VIII: Pandora's Inbox
Over the course of the first year of their marriage, Dorothy Sevitz had learnt to adjust her expectations downwards. Every evening - the very second that dinner was cleared away and the dishwasher loaded - Adrian would hastily mumble his...
Mike - Thursday September 02, 2004
Chapter VI: Love at Last Sight
Before I knew what had happened, I'd gouged out her eyes with my trusted knife and stuffed the sockets with little bits of mangled fox. Whilst this superfluous act of gristly decoration might not have helped my case later on...
Doctor Pockless - Wednesday September 01, 2004
Chapter 5: Suspicion
I this point I began to become suspicious. Something was up. I think the girl was psycho. More psycho than girls in general are. Was I safe? I didn't think so. All I had to go on was my SAS...
Adrian - Wednesday September 01, 2004
Chapter 4: The next four minutes
What was it that I found so beguilingly familiar about that Bowie-eyed woman? My mind searched my memory in the same fruitless manner a man might pathetically grope around for his recently plucked and discarded eyeballs. As a logical and...
destructor - Tuesday August 31, 2004
Chapter II. Postscript to an Overture (by way of a middle)
I'd like to think of that as a sort of overture to my story. A dumb show, if you like. But there's much more to it, and I think I'll show my self to have been even dumber than this...
Doctor Pockless - Monday August 30, 2004
No, not an irrational fear of a certain model of crap car, but slang for drinkytime. The inimitable Doctor Pockless is trying to keep his fear of the lesser spotted belfry bat at bay with small, but regular doses of...
Lyle - Friday August 27, 2004
All my fears - revealed!
I've been staring at the latest Uborka theme all week, thinking that I really ought to write something about it. Indeed, if I were to forget my natural unassuming modesty, I could almost imagine that some people might have been...
Vaughan - Thursday August 26, 2004
I fear thirst. And other things.
I'm off travelling for work this afternoon, and won't get back until after the usual cocktail hour on Friday. I'm afraid that I'll be thirsty. So I'm going to put my order in for vodka and tonic right now. But...
Graybo - Wednesday August 25, 2004
On Blindness and Lunacy
I dare not put what I am most afraid of into words. In order for it not to overwhelm me it must remain nebulous and unacknowledged, forever at arm's length from my conscience. In as much as I am willing...
Doctor Pockless - Tuesday August 24, 2004
This millennium, there have been two occasions in which I have come very close to being deaded (there were some last millennium as well, but you tend not to appreciate these things as a teenager). The first was a car...
destructor - Monday August 23, 2004
My Subconscious
Stupid, maybe, but true. I suspect there's some sort of control room in the deep recesses of the lump of grey goo I occasionally use for thinking which could present reasons to justify why it happens, but sometimes I scare...
Stuart - Sunday August 22, 2004
Dear Kate
Hello. I am an administrative assistant for the Powers That Be, and am writing on their behalf. The Powers That Be wish to express their surprise at your faith in them to alleviate loneliness, financial distress, unemployment and a number...
kate - Thursday August 19, 2004
I don't write letters
I wrote a letter once. I was in Israel. I met a girl. She seemed nice. I wanted to kiss her. I didn't. I'm shy. I wrote her an 8 page letter. In the dark. I have no idea what...
Adrian - Wednesday August 18, 2004
The Dwindling Exactitude of Mail, part 4
Thank you for the postcard. Given that you had a space of approximately 7 by 10 centimetres in which to write, I think you did rather well. I did not mean to seem overly dismissive of Mr. Wingman's comments...
Doctor Pockless - Tuesday August 17, 2004
King's College Chapel at Sunset
Dear Dr. Pockless,Please forgive the use of a postcard, rather than a true letter, but I expect that this missive will be short, and I have something of a stockpile of these cards. I digress, more on that later.I feel...
Ade - Tuesday August 17, 2004
The Dwindling Exactitude of Mail, parts 3/a and 3/b
Dear Karen, Thank you for your last letter. It was greatly appreciated. Though it is tempting to reminisce about our past correspondence in more detail, I am aware of an audience also looking over your shoulder who might not be...
Doctor Pockless - Tuesday August 17, 2004
Adeptus Titanicus
Dear Doctor Pockless, I am forced to agree with your recent thoughts on letters- I too have noticed a severe drop-off in my own letter output. I attribute this mainly to the fact that my hand-writing, never good at the...
destructor - Monday August 16, 2004
we get letters
-----Original Message----- From: Joe Maloney (7481) Sent: 22 July 2004 15:35 To: Nicholls, Daniel X Subject: RE: offensive yes. The school therapist in my elementary school was very keen on writing letters to people that you didn't intend to send,...
destructor - Monday August 16, 2004
The Dwindling Exactitude of Mail, part 2
Dear Uborkites, I am disappointed that none of you have yet taken up my challenge from yesterday. Perhaps it was my disagreeable humour. Or was it that you too had to pick up the kids from school? Come on now,...
Doctor Pockless - Monday August 16, 2004
The Dwindling Exactitude of Mail, part 1
Dear Uborkites, Given that you are all to some extent or another committed writers, I am aware that I am preaching to the converted. Nevertheless, the ill about which I intend to write inflicts even myself. Since "letters" are this...
Doctor Pockless - Sunday August 15, 2004
Huge Pulsating Cock Tales
Hmmrr-hmm-hrm-hmm mmmhrrrm-hrrrhm-hur-hum-mrrrh /removes inflatable gag and gimp hood Sorry, that's no way to introduce myself as the barman for the day, although for the benefit of some of our patrons I will keep the long wig and leather duster jacket...
D - Friday August 13, 2004
Actually, the most revealing thing about this week's "kink" theme at Uborka has been the number of regular contributors who have said nothing and have kept very, very, very quiet in the corner. Look, we are all amongst friends here.......
Graybo - Friday August 13, 2004
Swarming Like Flies
With this week's Uborka Artist in Residence, Ray Davies. Dirty old river, must you keep rolling Flowing into the night People so busy, makes me feel dizzy Taxi light shines so bright But I don't need no friends As long...
Doctor Pockless - Wednesday August 11, 2004
Terry and Julie
Oh, Doctor Pockless! Doctor Pockless! I see your Lola and your Dedicated Follower of Fashion, and raise you Waterloo Sunset - not only the greatest Ray Davies song, but simply one of the greatest songs ever. Of course, I would...
Vaughan - Tuesday August 10, 2004
Oh yes he is (oh yes he is).
With this week's Uborka Artist in Residence, Ray Davies. They seek him here, they seek him there, His clothes are loud, but never square. It will make or break him so he’s got to buy the best, ’cause he’s a...
Doctor Pockless - Tuesday August 10, 2004
Kink Kink Kink.
I want a threesome. Men need not apply...
Adrian - Tuesday August 10, 2004
Pole position
If you look at my nose in profile, it has a kink in it. Like, it starts at a nice, level decline, and then about halfway through, jerks off at a 45-degree angle. As a small child, I remember hating...
destructor - Tuesday August 10, 2004
She Nearly Broke My Spine
In this week's Doctor Pockless' Poetry Masterclass I'll be in conversation with Ray Davies. We'll be looking at the extracts from some of his most famous works and asking if Mr. Davies ought to have been made poet laureate or...
Doctor Pockless - Monday August 09, 2004
Porn, the dawn of the false expectation
Right, kink it is. A theme almost designed for me. On a site my mom doesn’t read. Hopefully. I want to leap straight in with porn. Or more to the point a complaint about porn. As a young lad, porn...
Adrian - Monday August 09, 2004
My Favorite Sins
Imagine a nun singing this to a small assembly of children, that should be kinky enough. High-heel clad toesies, And latex sex-kittens, Bright rosy nipples And tight bondage mittens. Mummified perverts All tied up with string, These are a few...
D - Monday August 09, 2004
They say that too much beer Will result in feeling queer; So, to keep me hearty and hale Can I have a nice cocktail?...
Graybo - Friday August 06, 2004
Beetle Bones & Smokin' Stones
beatle bones and smokin` stones The dry sands fall the strawberry mouth strawberry moth STRAWBERRY CATERPILLAR strawberry butterfly strawberry fields All the winged eel slither on the heels of today`s children "Strawberry Fields Forever" yeah roosters ol glass roosters stick...
Doctor Pockless - Thursday August 05, 2004
Unexpected Music
The postman arrives, bills fall to the floor, My ebay purchase! I run to my door. A white, padded parcel enclosing CD Promotional album by Kid Symphony I'm tearing it open, but wait, what is this? A slipcase proclaiming -...
Ade - Thursday August 05, 2004
Another Melodious Ode to Melons
For Jo When melon ripe the bug bemoans The happy crunch of beetle bones Is a source of untold joy As you insectile worlds destroy There falls Sparta, there falls Rome There falls another aphid's home When empires of the...
Doctor Pockless - Thursday August 05, 2004
Scott feeds his soul to the cynics
He fled from cliche in much the same way   Liars avoid those things they have lied of As night flees from day he fled from cliche   As an affliction that one might die of  Hearing a joke he would not...
destructor - Wednesday August 04, 2004
Afternoon Tea
The late Stanley Finkleter's verse has been described as "cumbersome" for more than one reason. Here is the second. Melon vine, melon vine Milk of sweet cucumber wine Cultivate me, bathe my eyes Rinse out the nightly Tide of brine...
Doctor Pockless - Wednesday August 04, 2004
In the nest of A wading stork Where newborn storklets Their cry uncork Might an inclined ear Encounter talk Dissimilarly hued And yet of uniform walk Occasionally rude And occasionally queer Emmanating from The pickled sphere The restless whispers From...
Doctor Pockless - Tuesday August 03, 2004
on all that strand at end of day steps sole sound long sole sound until unbidden stay then no sound on all that strand long no sound until unbidden go steps sole sound long sole sound on all that strand...
Doctor Pockless - Tuesday August 03, 2004
Home from the nightshift
3.30am, it is, in my flat (and the surrounding area, clearly, but that goes without saying. The aim, really, is to get to the point. Which I shortly will do) It's 3.30 now and my mind is awake. I do...
Anna - Tuesday August 03, 2004
Coming in at number 4
Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England Azagoths of Kria Vogons Adrian Sevitz of Wandsworth Town, London, England (formally Johannesburg, South Africa) After a break up To cheer up Girls get ice cream So things aren't as bad as...
Adrian - Monday August 02, 2004
Untitled No. 37
Doctor Pockless - Friday July 30, 2004
Are You Lost?
I won't be able to make it to cocktails today (I'll be partaking of the bucks fizz at a friend's wedding), but for anyone who's accidentally scrolled down too far......
Ade - Friday July 30, 2004
The Alpine Hoover
Ade - Thursday July 29, 2004
"Tell me Don Requinio, do you confess your sins?!"...
D - Thursday July 29, 2004
girl swallows fear, liquor, each to be vomited up the next morning
kate - Wednesday July 28, 2004
Untitled No. 36
Doctor Pockless - Tuesday July 27, 2004
Just When You Thought...
In a dramatic misunderstanding of what Blogrolls are really all about, and forgetting her own dyslexia, Aristide dives into shark....
D - Tuesday July 27, 2004
And the sleaze moves on
Adrian - Monday July 26, 2004
afterthought mistakenly given more emphasis
kate - Monday July 26, 2004
Hoopy Frood
Has anyone seen where I left my pair of Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses?...
D - Sunday July 25, 2004
Man eats pie for impressed onlooker
Vaughan - Saturday July 24, 2004
The Yoke of Profound Distraction
NOTE: Those of you thinking of leaving early to avoid the rush to the car park would do well to remember that cocktails will be served this afternoon following the final lectures of the Symposium. For more information, you'll have...
Doctor Pockless - Friday July 23, 2004
Keats' Dung Beetles
Ecology as a whole is a...hobby of mine. Much like the good Dr. Pockless, whose line in lepidoptery veers off the chart of scientific intrigue towards something which I shudder to think of as being near to, or at least...
Stuart - Thursday July 22, 2004
The Humble Brown Second Best
Sadly, our gargantuan Papilio Antimachus broke free of her moorings during the night and did untold damage to the new ornamental gardens outside the science block, overturning a miniature decorative bridge, devouring saplings and causing the night watchman to scold...
Doctor Pockless - Thursday July 22, 2004
Exquisite Rigs
Papilio Antimachus, ladies and gentlemen, might seem a humble specimen on the screen behind me. But it is the largest butterfly to herald from the African continent. So large, in fact, that you can forget your ordinary butterfly pins. If...
Doctor Pockless - Wednesday July 21, 2004
Plagues #8 and #9
The Isle of Wight is far from the Egypt of the Biblical Era. I'd say a couple of thousand miles and a few thousand years is pretty far, wouldn't you? But there were regular plagues. Mini ones... A couple of...
Stuart - Wednesday July 21, 2004
Songs featuring insects #2
Don't tread on an ant, he's done nothing to you! There might come a day when he's treading on you! Don't tread on an ant, you'll end up black and blue You cut off his head, legs come looking...
Vaughan - Tuesday July 20, 2004
Dear Karen, We were horrified to learn that your last meeting with us left you somewhat traumatised. We hope you will not let a few of our less hospitable inhabitants discourage you from visiting us again. Please allow us to...
estee - Tuesday July 20, 2004
Songs featuring insects #1
Dolly Parton memorably sang Love Is Like A Butterfly (lyrics). Sadly, history does not record how Ms Parton reacted upon discovering exactly what those cruel, heartless butterfly catchers actually do to butterflies - although her follow-up single, Love Is Like...
Vaughan - Tuesday July 20, 2004
All the Mingled People, and Chub
Due to an error in the timetabling of the Symposium I accidentally delivered two lectures yesterday. Atherton Frisby was furious. In consequence I'm afraid this means that Dr. Steven Badgett's lecture, Yeats' Dung Beetles, has been cancelled. I was really...
Doctor Pockless - Tuesday July 20, 2004
Spider sense tingling
Spider-Man 2 – Deleted scenes #6 A long-distance telephone call. Bruce Wayne: So, you heard what Spider-Man's been up to recently? Clark Kent: Nope. Wayne: You sound really interested. Kent: I am, I am, go on. Wayne: Well, do you...
londonmark - Tuesday July 20, 2004
Worrisome Canker Pig
Today I give you Agrius Narcissus, an insect held by many experts to be the most beautiful of its kind now living. I'm not sure I agree, but its carmine banding is a splendour to behold. The specimen I received...
Doctor Pockless - Monday July 19, 2004
i'm this week's morrissey
I don't want to be the asshole around here. I really don't. ... But, you play the personality you're dealt. So in the spirit of anal retention, let's all remember that spiders aren't insects, MMM-KAY? That's all! I'll be in...
kate - Monday July 19, 2004
A reason not to go "oop north"
There be spiders....
Pix - Monday July 19, 2004
Dumont no. 5 Stainless Steel Forceps
Let us begin the week with a specimen of the Ornithoptera Priamus Aureus, or the Jaded Merryboil, principally found in Alpine regions and certain suburbs of Swindon. I must say I was impressed by how neatly this little blighter was...
Doctor Pockless - Monday July 19, 2004
I live in a townhouse in a row of townhouses facing another row of townhouses. Between the two rows is a stretch of grass, spotted here and there with trees and shrubbery, and a pathway leading in and out. One...
kate - Sunday July 18, 2004
Die arachnid die
I hate spiders. Largely because they are evil like fu.... breath in breath out ... calm. That and because I am arachnophobic. Badly. I once woke up to find a spider the size of my hand on the wall above...
Adrian - Sunday July 18, 2004
Gynandromorphic Speculation
Welcome to the first of my special lectures on the subject of lepidoptery. Over the course of the week we will look at a number of special butterflies and consider what we might learn not only about them, but also...
Doctor Pockless - Sunday July 18, 2004
The Fleshy Comforts of The Mouth
When speaking of insects one tends to think immediately of those small air-breathing arthropods who are generally referred to as creepy-crawlies. Those many-legged ambassadors to the Wyrd that manifested themselves most grotesquely in Sartre's nauseous terror that his tongue would...
Doctor Pockless - Saturday July 17, 2004
Magazine - A Song From Under The Floorboards. (1980)
OK, so I can't really claim that this song represents my blog. It does, however, represent an important period of transition in my life. Like so many people (if I only I had known it), I had spent most of...
Mike - Friday July 16, 2004
les cocktails! le huzzah! let's get le drunk!
The Uborkess herself asked me to post a couple of reminders. "Sure!" I said. "I write reminders all the time!" The problem is, mostly I write them to myself, and mostly they don't work. I have one by my elbow...
kate - Friday July 16, 2004
O Clouds Unfold!
Bring Bow of burning gold: Bring Arrows of desire: Bring me Spear: O clouds unfold! And though I rest from Mental Fight, And though sword sleeps in hand I will not rest til Jerusalem is built In Englands green...
Doctor Pockless - Friday July 16, 2004
Cast your cares away...
Ideally the contributed tracks should represent you, or reflect the personality of your weblog [if any], or somehow summarise the last six months of your life. That sort of thing. Given that this was my idea, I'm somewhat embarrassed (and...
Pix - Friday July 16, 2004
Between the ridiculous and the sublime
I cannot think of my song. I have tried, for days upon days, but I cannot think of a song that reflects my blog. It has, I admit, come to me in this time (and I admit, I may have...
Anna - Thursday July 15, 2004
No Colours Anymore
Choosing a song for the UborMix (UberMix?) has been harder than I thought. It doesn't help that I slammed Mark for his choice of artiste and in doing so, left myself wide open for criticism of my own preferences. (Hang...
Dragon - Thursday July 15, 2004
all brine and piss and vinegar
I can't remember a time when The Decemberists weren't among my favorite bands, even though it was only a few months ago that I first came across their music. "Grace Cathedral Hill," a ballad (ballad? that seems too cheesy, like...
kate - Wednesday July 14, 2004
Having used up all of my song-related anecdotes with my 31 Songs misadventure last December, it was natural to turn to the music I've collected this year for inspiration. Not that that limits me to newly released CDs; the steady...
Ade - Wednesday July 14, 2004
Shine Forth on Clouded Hills
And did those feet in ancient times, Walk upon mountains green? And was the holy Lamb of God, On England's pleasant pastures seen? And did the Countenance Divine, Shine forth on clouded hills? And was Jerusalem In the dark...
Doctor Pockless - Wednesday July 14, 2004
'A Little Something' - Disco Inferno
"When I was youngI was taught a little songI only ever sing itWhen things are going horribly wrong ..." Listen to the song here, for a Limited! Period! Only! On every mix CD, I have a theory that there should...
Vaughan - Tuesday July 13, 2004
You always were the one
Well, for me there's still really only one perfect song for the UborCD. You always were the one to show me how Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now This thing is slowly taking me...
Lyle - Tuesday July 13, 2004
Live from New York, it's petit Hiboux
You called me last night on the telephone And I was glad to hear from you 'cause I was all alone You said, "It's snowing, it's snowing! God, I hate this weather." Now I walk through blizzards just to get...
Krissa - Tuesday July 13, 2004
The Style
Hey hey! This all looks cracking. My nomination or, as some would have it, choix du semaine for the Uborka Mix CD is Athlete's 'We Got The Style'. I would quote some lyrics, but sizing up the songsheet I would...
Stuart - Tuesday July 13, 2004
You know what this CD lacks?...
Graybo - Monday July 12, 2004
'rabbit in your headlights' - unkle
my nominated track is an electronic one (surprise surprise). but at least this one has words..! i love the lyrics, but what has always stood out to me is the sample from jacob's ladder: If you're frightened of dyin' and...
estee - Monday July 12, 2004
Uborka Mix CD: 'Come Back To Camden' - Morrissey Your leg came to rest against mine Then you lounged with knees up and apart And me and my heart, we knew We just knew, for evermore Where taxi drivers never...
londonmark - Monday July 12, 2004
Uborka Mix CD:
'Dog is Life/Jerusalem' - The Fall

You don't see rabbits being walked down the street And you don't see many cats on leads Dogs pet dogs dogs rapacious wet dogs Owner of dogs slow-witted dog owner Owner of rabid dog saving fare for tunnel Euro-dream of...
Doctor Pockless - Monday July 12, 2004
Blue skies from pain
Nominating a single song for anything is hard. To select one song, you are selecting one genre too. You have to eliminate songs that have a special meaning (Belly, Feed the Tree, My first alternative song), have a special gravel...
Adrian - Sunday July 11, 2004
Uborka Mix CD:
'Try a Little Tenderness' - Otis Redding

"That record it’s so about pure things it make you want to cry. Why’s the world so tough? It’s like walking through meat in high heels. Nothing’s shared out right, money or love. I’m a quiet person me. People think...
Vaughan - Saturday July 10, 2004
Knowing mead, knowing Uborka
So, another cocktail afternoon. Let us begin with Adrian. May I introduce you to Juliet. The positions you both assume in private will be entirely your own business, but when you're done, here is some ale for you. Miss...
londonmark - Friday July 09, 2004
To D or not to D
I have the honour of presenting D-let, Prince of Acerbia, Act II, Scene ii. GUILDENMARK My honoured lord! ROSENBLOGRAPHY My most dear lord! D-LET My excellent good friends! How dost thou, Guildenmark? Ah, Rosenblography! Good lads, how do ye both?...
londonmark - Friday July 09, 2004
Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Blog
A classic song from 1965, strangely omitted from the Beatles' Anthology: Try to read it his way, Does he have to keep on writing till he can't go on? While you read it your way, Run the risk of knowing...
londonmark - Wednesday July 07, 2004
Song For Eulot
Overheard coming from a cubicle at the Electric Ballroom last weekend: Confidence is a prerequisite for the habitual reader of what is known as... (Marklife!) Plot disclosure can be mute if you bumble along the route through what is known...
D - Wednesday July 07, 2004
A gentleman's gentleman
One summer, the ageing blogger of Darlington Hall embarks on a leisurely holiday that will take him deep into the English countryside and into his past… Browsing through the secondhand section of Blackwell's, I came across a novel which I...
londonmark - Tuesday July 06, 2004
Liber Paginarum Fulvarum
In an effort to get out of the house on a bright and sunny Sunday afternoon I decided that I'd head up to Highgate village and scour the old bookshops for anything interesting. My shelves already boast a first edition...
D - Tuesday July 06, 2004
The good of the game
Football fans who are beginning to suffer withdrawal effects now that Euro 2004 has ended have only a few weeks to pretend to be interested in other sports until the new season begins. And as the BBC's flagship football programme...
londonmark - Monday July 05, 2004
Bottoms Up
A couple of years ago now I was working in an advertising agency in Chelsea, well, it was really in Battersea, but we claimed it was waterfront Chelsea property because that was more likely to impress clients. We had a...
D - Monday July 05, 2004
Caesar salad days
After attending and enjoying Rufus Wainwright and Kate McGarrigle's performance at the Royal Festival Hall last month, I was wandering around the South Bank, wondering what other shows I might be able to take in to exploit more fully London's...
londonmark - Sunday July 04, 2004
Hooray for Alphabets (and Divorces)
A is for Adrian, who is showing off (again) and who got so excited he forgot to leave his drink order, and so, shall have a bucket of ice instead, because he so obviously needs it. B is for Bloody...
Pix - Friday July 02, 2004
Girls, a User Guide: Part 6 - N - Blind Drunk
Best laid plans and all that. Time has fleeted and there are cocktails to be served, and a divorce to be celebrated. So, since I've run out of time, brain power, and many, many other things, the drinks thing today...
Pix - Friday July 02, 2004
Girls, a User Guide: Part 5 - M
M is for Mother Yes, dear boys. That's right. Mother. Specifically, hers. Your potential Mother-in-Law. Also, a fair indication (give or take the odd exception that proves the rule) of what she will become, given 20-30 years. The Mother is...
Pix - Wednesday June 30, 2004
Girls, a User Guide: Part 4 - L
After an almost two month break, the (in)famous “Girls, a User Guide” is back on your screens. Previous instalments of the guide can be found here, here and here. Go ahead and catch up. I can wait. *taps toe delicately...
Pix - Monday June 28, 2004
Venus: Kittentails
Ah, the bullfruit of relationships! It's amazing how many of you sidled up to the bar when it came to finding alcoholic ways to slam your mates, future mates, and ex mates. martian-venusian harmony relations be damned, eh? We've only...
Krissa - Friday June 25, 2004
Mars: Cocktails
Imagine a smooth, liquid transition from the theme of the weeks' writings into a marvellously witty angle on serving cocktails. Imagine how we may have sown the seeds of this approach in earlier articles, building up in a spectacularly planned...
Stuart - Friday June 25, 2004
Venus: Marriage
Krissa - Thursday June 24, 2004
Mars: Marriage
This is it, gents. The big one. In the relationship game of chess, this is checkmate, this is the goal. Much like chess, in fact, bringing it about will involve a lot of contrived manoeuvring, and planning as many moves...
Stuart - Thursday June 24, 2004
Venus: Arguments
Look, the sad fact of the matter is, even the most free-wheeling, man-eating happy single gal out there will eventually find that apartments are cheaper for two serious relationships are worth the effort. But oy VEY how much effort? The...
Krissa - Wednesday June 23, 2004
Mars: Arguments
Into every life a little rain must fall. If something goes awry and your lady is not happy, then things are looking bad. You've obviously made a mistake somewhere along the line, or that angelic beauty of yours would not...
Stuart - Wednesday June 23, 2004
Venus: Sex
Sex for women is a complicated, emotional thing. We must understand that it is not our personal climax that is the most important, but rather how well we connect with our lovers and enjoy the mutual pleasure of being...
Krissa - Tuesday June 22, 2004
Mars: Sex
There is a saying; ‘ladies first’. This is clearly only applicable in sexual situations with three or more participants, so for the purposes of today’s post we shall have to adapt it to ‘lady first’. Sexual intercourse, or ‘fruiting’, is...
Stuart - Tuesday June 22, 2004
Venus: Dating
Perhaps you’re under the impression that dating is a complicated, delicate jeux a deux. That’s where you’re wrong. Here’s the wonderful thing about being a woman – you’re pretty much completely in charge. When those Martians (via methods and technologies...
Krissa - Monday June 21, 2004
Mars: Dating
The first tentative hours in each others’ company are essential in setting the tone of any burgeoning relationship and are disproportionately crucial in getting any girl to ever even think of walking down the aisle with you. So, as a...
Stuart - Monday June 21, 2004
Introducing Mars and Venus
Men and Women are very different. It is said that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and this poses some very interesting questions. Which gender took the time and trouble to develop a sound agricultural and primary...
Stuart - Monday June 21, 2004
How To... Leave the place nice for the next people
And that's it for the week. It's been interesting - but as of tomorrow we're going to instead see Uborka covered in pink fluffy bunnies, red velvet hearts, and shedloads of cloying flowers. Yes, from the cellars of Lyle and...
Lyle - Friday June 18, 2004
How To... Serve Drinks
Ladies and Gentlemen, the bar is open. Sit the f*ck down, shut the f*ck up. You'll get the drinks in a minute - but if you don't quieten down, I'll throw 'em at you....
Lyle - Friday June 18, 2004
How To... Take Drinks Orders
In my experience, particularly when busy, the best way is to stand behind the bar and yell "What the f*ck do you want to drink, you ravening hordes of b@st@rds?" Of course, that wouldn't suit you genteel Uborka sorts. So...
Lyle - Friday June 18, 2004
May Week (Full Version)
This week in Cambride is May Week. As Vaughan pointed out earlier, it is now June. Not even early June either. Quite how a university which prides itself in being one of the best in the world manages not to...
Ade - Wednesday June 16, 2004
How to....... End up with a very expensive wardrobe
No, Adrian, this isn't about going to Ikea. Obtaining what amounts to being a very expensive wardrobe is actually surprisingly simple. What you need to do is attend an event at a hotel that is at the higher end of...
Lyle - Tuesday June 15, 2004
How to... Swear
Well, for those who couldn't guess, this is the predictable Lyle® post - Swearing for Beginners. Swearing was always supposed to be the last refuge of the illiterate and ill-educated. A "Gentleman" would have enough of a vocabulary to express...
Lyle - Monday June 14, 2004
An Incomplete A to Z of Blogging
To Be (Dis)continued

Oh! But a week seems just too short, doesn't it? (Humour me; I know that's not what you're thinking). There are so many essential blogging terms that I didn't get round to: Linkyluuuurrvve, Navelgazing, Ofuscation, and Starf***ers (I'm especially disappointed...
Vaughan - Friday June 11, 2004
An Incomplete A to Z of Cocktails
(We only reached I, actually)

Good afternoon all, and welcome to a decidedly alphabetical Uborka cocktail hour. Graybo has kindly offered to act as waitress for this afternoon's imbibement, and will be passing amongst you distributing a few finger-bowls of Alphabetti Spaghetti, whilst I deal...
Vaughan - Friday June 11, 2004
An Incomplete A to Z of Cocktails
Order now to avoid disappointment!

You'll have noticed, if you've been paying attention, that this week's themes have been blogging and luuuurrvve. With luuuurrvve also being the theme of last week's cocktail hour, the only other option was blogging. But Graybo and I thought about...
Vaughan - Friday June 11, 2004
An Incomplete A to Z of Blogging
H is for Hiatus

In next week's edition of our hit soap opera, The Cucumbers, it looks like one of our heroes is for the chop as rumours grow that a summer salad is about to prepared ... but now on Uborka TV, it's...
Vaughan - Friday June 11, 2004
An Incomplete A to Z of Blogging
F is for First Among Bloggers

I've never quite understood this incessant need for certain bloggers who are a bit long in the tooth (although only in blogging years, of course) to have to try and validate their existence by continually telling us that They Were...
Vaughan - Thursday June 10, 2004
Graybo's Incomplete Lexicon of Luuuurrvve
N is for Nudity

Nudity is a powerful tool in the world of luuuurrvve. However, it should be used sparingly and with caution, as an excess of nudity can, at best, lead to a reduction in its special nature and, at worst, result in...
Graybo - Thursday June 10, 2004
An Incomplete A to Z of Blogging
C is (also) for Comments

Comments are the most obvious way in which a blogger can gauge whether his or her profound words are being read and appreciated. Although many of us will - like every second-rate indie band of the 1990s - claim that...
Vaughan - Wednesday June 09, 2004
An Incomplete A to Z of Blogging
C is for CMS

Speaking of blogmeets, as we were, the most eagerly debated subject at such gatherings is usually "What's your favourite type of cheese?" But close behind is a topic that has everybody teetering on the edge of their seats and drooling...
Vaughan - Wednesday June 09, 2004
An Incomplete A to Z of Blogging
B is (also) for Blogmeet

Not to be confused with blogmeat. We don't talk about the cannibalistic branch of the family. It's a filthy habit. I love blogmeets. That's a strange thing for me to admit, considering that I'm known for my social-phobic tendencies, and...
Vaughan - Tuesday June 08, 2004
Graybo's Incomplete Lexicon of Luuuurrvve
F is for Flowers

Hmm. I know that this is a pretty old and tatty copy of the Lexicon that I'm working from here (well thumbed, you might say) and that the binding is wrecked, but who pulled out the F pages and stuffed...
Graybo - Tuesday June 08, 2004
An Incomplete A to Z of Blogging
B is for Blog-Ring

I'm sure you're all aware of the conventional definition of blog-rings. They're either huge and unwieldy, with a list of members as long as your arm that you would never consider browsing (e.g. 'The People With Ears Blog-Ring'), or they're...
Vaughan - Monday June 07, 2004
An Incomplete A to Z of Blogging
A is (also) for A-list

Ah, the mystical wonder of the A-list. For years, it was the Golden Calf at the End Of The Rainbow and the Prize That Was Beyond Reach in the Land of Nirvana. And stuff. The A-list was where the Beautiful...
Vaughan - Monday June 07, 2004
Graybo's Incomplete Lexicon of Luuuurrvve
P is for Passion

After "A" comes "P", as every bright and well-educated child will tell you. And they will also tell you that, in Graybo's Lexicon of Luuuurrvve (a book that should be in every school's library), P is for Passion. Passion is...
Graybo - Monday June 07, 2004
An Incomplete A to Z of Blogging
A is for Aardvark

Let's start at the very beginning, because it's a very good place to start. Aardvarks are ugly little animals, in all honesty. Only an aardvark's mother could really love an aardvark. However, despite their distinctive and off-putting features, they have...
Vaughan - Sunday June 06, 2004
Relationship breakdown
So, it seems my partner has a week-long headache and doesn't want to join in with my Week of Luuuurrvve. Well, I'll do what any sensible adult would do in any long term and serious relationship when faced with a...
Graybo - Sunday June 06, 2004
An Incomplete A to Z of Blogging
(or: What To Do When You're Out Of Ideas)

Good evening, my ripe little courgettes! My oh my, aren't you all looking mouthwateringly succulent and green tonight? If I wasn't quite so shy and reserved, I'd grab one of you, bite off your nobbly tip, spit it out and...
Vaughan - Saturday June 05, 2004
Concombres is French for Uborka
Bonjour, mes petits concombres, de Angers en France. Lamentably, I'm here due to work, and not for reasons of love or passion (although I love my work and have a passion for it) and shall be travelling back to the...
Graybo - Saturday June 05, 2004
Krissa & Stuart's Online Engagement Party.
Ah, me. The sweet scent of celebration is in the air today at Uborka, as an eager and thirsty huddle of well-wishers from both sides of the Atlantic Ocean gather together to raise a glass in honour of Krissa's and...
Mike - Friday June 04, 2004
Cocktails and nibbly bits: your orders please
Can someone help me get this pinney tied on at the back? Thanks. Apologies for the short delay. We value your business, customers. There can only be one theme for today's cocktails. The theme of LURVE. And you all know...
Mike - Friday June 04, 2004
Recipes of yesteryear.
Dodo en croute with a fweet chilli jam, ferved on a polenta and wafabi oatcake. Firft, catch your Dodo. Decapitate and bone. (If boiled for many hourf, ye bill may make a fuperlative and nourifhing - if, alaf, fomewhat noxiouf...
Mike - Wednesday June 02, 2004
Tales from the Audit Trail Part 1
*Everyone* thinks that audit is about examining accounts. It isn't if you can avoid it! I have been fortunate in my career to audit some very interesting organisations. Not least HM Customs and Excise. Import Duties was always a good...
Gert - Tuesday June 01, 2004
Channel 4 script editors can kiss my sweet ass goodbye.
For my first ever guest-blogging gig, I thought that, like many other recent temporary Uborkians, I should adopt some sort of overall theme for the week. Having pondered long and hard, I have finally reached a decision. For this week's...
Mike - Monday May 31, 2004
Once again hangin' out with all your friends, It's not my scene, I'm only here for your company
She was nineteen, I was twenty. She was the most beautiful person I'd ever met. It took me months of self-doubt and anguish to get the nerve to ask her out. I said I'd always wanted to ballroom dance in...
destructor - Friday May 28, 2004
Pick-a-Path Adventure
Time for a bit of role-playing: Your character is a single male New Zealander, just turned 27. You live in London, and have done so for three years. Education-wise, you have a degree in English Studies and another in Film...
destructor - Thursday May 27, 2004
Chewie and I have gotten into pants a lot more heavily guarded than this.
I picked up A Grand Don't Come For Free (from Asda!) yesterday, and just finished listening to it (`bout three minutes ago). The Streets are a strange enough sound as it is, but this album is additionally atypical in that...
destructor - Wednesday May 26, 2004
I told her I thought it was important, That you could get lost in conversation.
There's a scene in Good Will Hunting in which Robin Williams asks Matt Damon: "What's a good book?" and he replies: "Whatever blows your hair back." What's blowing my hair back at the moment is this book called 'The User...
destructor - Tuesday May 25, 2004
Then we take Berlin
Fine. He turns up days late and immediately starts lowering the tone. I'd invite him to step outside, but he seems to have Adrian Sleaze Bits on his side and I'm not sure I could take them both at once....
greenfairy - Monday May 24, 2004
Whatever you've done don't try to explain
So anyway, I've got this friend, Paul, who is something of a corybantic drunk. When he gets drunk he's very liable to get naked, or get violent, or at the very least do something incredibly stupid. So, we're at this...
destructor - Monday May 24, 2004
Well, I didn't think that there'd be such a good selection of entries and while no-one discovered such classics as "I Killed My Lesbian Wife, Hung Her on a Meat Hook, and Now I Have a Three-Picture Deal at Disney",...
Dragon - Friday May 21, 2004
Uborka Street
INT. THE SAUSAGE AND CUCUMBER FREE HOUSE – EVENING The pub is quiet for a Friday night and only a few of the regulars are in. In the corner, PIX huddles over an empty table and pulls her coat tightly...
Dragon - Friday May 21, 2004
And now a message from our sponsors
You ain't seen me... ...roight!...
Dragon - Friday May 21, 2004
Lesse is More
And now on Channel Uborka, we bring you the stunning new documentary from controversial investigative reporter, Richard Lesse. Viewers are warned that are some scenes in the following programme may contain people talking. Younger viewers may like to know that...
Dragon - Thursday May 20, 2004
Quiz time
And now for our weekly Channel Uborka competition. As we're rapidly approaching the summer blockbuster movie season, we are offering a chance for you to go to a movie of your choice at a cinema of your choosing1 if you...
Dragon - Wednesday May 19, 2004
i wonder at the things i get myself into, sometime. don't even remember signing up for this. hell, i don't even write on my own site anymore. you see, y'all speak English, and here i just talk American. and my...
redclay - Wednesday May 19, 2004
Cooking with Dragon
Good afternoon and welcome to you all on this beautiful summers day. If you're sitting here reading this while the sun is high in the sky and there's not a cloud to be seen - what are you doing? Get...
Dragon - Saturday May 15, 2004
cheers, m'dears
jack lives here, so help yourself lyle. i'm not sure what brand of beer your parents drank, but if you feel like giving them something back, may i recommend a nice vb. for stuart, a guiness. sorry mate, i didn't...
estee - Friday May 14, 2004
My First … Alcoholic Drink
1983. The Fire Station Hall School Disco I’d badgered by parents for weeks to let me go, without the chaperoning influence of my elder sister. One week before the event of the year, they folded under the continuous pressure and...
Julia - Friday May 14, 2004
my first : taste of drum & bass
anyone who knows me knows how much i love this particular genre of music, and it all started with roni size's new forms. i was at home wrestling with a particularly nasty essay, and my then-boyfriend had come over to...
estee - Friday May 14, 2004
My first ... hayfield liaison
I'll admit I can be somewhat brazen at times. Not that often, but when it happens I tend to just go with it, after all why fight Mother Nature? One afternoon in late summer I was in a pub waiting...
Julia - Thursday May 13, 2004
i was 19, it was the year after i finished high school and before i started uni. i was doing alot of theatre work, mainly as backstage crew, the experience of which can be summed up in one word: waiting....
estee - Wednesday May 12, 2004
My First ... Car
I've always had a bit of a soft spot for mechanical things, being more into Meccano than Barbie when younger. I had scooters then motorbikes long before I thought about having a car. So I was approaching my 21st birthday...
Julia - Wednesday May 12, 2004
My First... paid employment
At the age of eleven I was living on an RAF base in Germany. Normally I enjoyed the relocation to a new country every three years or so, but the move from England a couple of months earlier had been...
Julia - Tuesday May 11, 2004
in my family, my father is the risk-taker, the gambling man. but my mother is is the one with the luck. she has something of a reputation for it. there must be something funny with the wiring in the big...
estee - Tuesday May 11, 2004
The effects of information overload
Betts and I were discussing what next to write about. The problem is that by the end of the week my brain has all but switched off, and the part that is responsible for "amusing insights" has gone on sabbatical....
Bitter Marl - Friday May 07, 2004
Sundowners African Style
To the guy who stole my bagel and proclaimed "he was there first" when I tried to explain it was my order - You weren't. Knobber. To the obvious out of towners/foreigners who were all standing on the left hand...
Adrian - Friday May 07, 2004
Scandal on the Uborka
It appears some schmuck pretended to be me last night and posted some drunken depressing ramble. I have no idea who this 'pretender' may be, but I can assure it it's not me. I would never lower the tone of...
Adrian - Thursday May 06, 2004
10 Things that suck about being a lawyer
I never really dreamt of being a lawyer. I’ve told this story a million times, but I landed up being in law because of a poor choice on my degree application form. I got into architecture at 2 universities, and...
Bitter Marl - Wednesday May 05, 2004
Anatomy of the daily commute- London
I remember the good old days - 1997 to be precise. Getting to work was easy. Hopped in the car, when I wanted to and within 20 or so minutes was safely at work. Door to door. 20 miles. Easy...
Adrian - Wednesday May 05, 2004
Anatomy of the daily commute- Johannesburg
Thanks again Karen for the guest spot here at Uborka. Im not sure it was a good idea to get Sevitz or I ranting too much, but anyway. So today, we've decided on stress and commutting in our respective cities....
Bitter Marl - Tuesday May 04, 2004
Introducing Black Betty Sea Bitch
In 1977, the obscure American band Ram Jam adopted blues cult hero Leadbelly’s song “Black Betty” as part of the band’s proposed conquest of the world’s airwaves. It was no wonder that world domination was not immediately forthcoming, and the...
Bitter Marl - Monday May 03, 2004
Introducing Bitter Marl
My fellow guest blogger, who should be along tomorrow morning to introduce my good self, is my friend Marlon. Marlon, or Marl I met at university in 1993. Marl was different to all the other kids. Marl viewed the world...
Adrian - Sunday May 02, 2004
Girl Drink Drunk
Well, if it was ever a week I needed a drink this was it. So I'm going first, and I'm having the biggest, pinkest, most decorated cocktail I can find. *drains bucket* Right. Now on to serving you lot. Green...
Pix - Friday April 30, 2004
Girls, a User Guide: Part 3 - I - K
I is for Illegal... Older than 16 – ok. Younger than 16 – not. Rocket science it ain’t. I is also for Inexplicable... It’s a girl thing. Accept it and life will be far easier for you....
Pix - Friday April 30, 2004
how to be a girl, beginners yadda yadda ' e'
Essex road, 10pm, Wednesday. A true story You know what the problem wiv gurls is? Fink they can do everyfink. E for fuckin Everyfink. Modern Gurls, vat is. Not like my old mum. Proper girl she wuz. But 'eese modern...
Anna - Thursday April 29, 2004
Girls - How to be one. A Beginners Guide. Part one - B-D
In this filthy age, it seems to be a widely held belief that the lady's wonder-hole is for 'putting things in'. Not so. While things certainly can be put 'there' (although only 'things' belonging to your husband, ladies, remember...), the...
Anna - Tuesday April 27, 2004
Girls, a User Guide: Part 2 - F - H
F is for Feet... Ah feet. Unjustly reviled as icky, nasty, gross and only good for allowing the owner of a pair to wear foxy shoes. "but feet are all gross and smelly" I hear you cry. Well, just for...
Pix - Tuesday April 27, 2004
Girls, a User Guide: Part 1 - B-E
B is for Breasts... Boobs. Boobies. Bazookas. Bristols. Baps. Breasticles. Bags of fun (and that was without the use of a Roget's Profanisaurus, which undoubtedly has several more, if you're so inclined). Lots of B words for 'em, lots of...
Pix - Monday April 26, 2004
California Drink Sombreros
Hi, Dudes. And Dudesses. Or Dudettas. Or, if you like, Dudes as well. We're easy here. None of that formal grammar shit is gonna get us down, man. The surfing poetry Professor, Doctor Pockless sticks with the true blue taste...
Stuart - Friday April 23, 2004
It's not what you do, it's the way that you do it. -Funboy Three, feat. Bananarama. A great message and maxim for our time. Run the marathon. And regardless of effort, dedication and your personal sacrifice and immense achievement, you're...
Stuart - Thursday April 22, 2004
The Joy of Corruption: The Clock's Homework Club
Kate is hardcore. She has cast off the bounds of the conventional Uborka collaboration. We did kind of agree that as she produced the sparkling gem that is the Sandbox Series, that I would come up with child-like analysis of...
Stuart - Wednesday April 21, 2004
Sandbox Lamentations, Vol. 2
May 21 Age 8 I can put my hands all the way round my waist. Coooooool....
kate - Wednesday April 21, 2004
Sandbox Lamentations, Vol. 1
June 10 Age 7 My sister and brother are assholes....
kate - Tuesday April 20, 2004
Sandbox Lamentations: Introduction
Somewhere in my childhood self, an effusive diarist lurked. I'm certain of it. Had I mastery enough of my little hands to wield skinny sticks with lead or ink inside, my early years would be in paperback by now. No,...
kate - Monday April 19, 2004
Coffees Off
The Good Doctor Pockless sits enjoying his plain white coffee in his favourite armchair, with the rare inverted chockmark covers he had specially made in Kowloon. After a hard day knocking some nonsense into his students, all he wants is...
Stuart - Monday April 19, 2004
Blame Attribution II
kate - Monday April 19, 2004
First Letter to the Uborkites
I. Good morning. II. Kate and I would like to bid you glad tidings from our combined realms, in this, the beginning of the time of our visitation to The Domain Of The Cucumber. III. Verily, Kate did say unto...
Stuart - Monday April 19, 2004
A little something to cure what ails you...
Oh dear, it's worse that I thought. You guys have major issues that a virtual cocktail may not fix. All I can do is try, so here goes nothing... I may be no expert, but Lyle thinks that he has...
Steph - Friday April 16, 2004
T.B. writes
I have a problem with my relationship. I'm British, and I used to go out with this European. We got on well but I argued a lot with the family. Now, I'm seeing an American, but every time we go...
londonmark - Friday April 16, 2004
K.C. writes
I am truly, madly, deeply, profoundly, intensely in love with my soulmate whom I love madly and deeply and profoundly. He is absolutely perfect in every way. I do, however, have one teensy-weensy problem. My snuggle bunny is three feet...
Steph - Thursday April 15, 2004
U.P. writes
My problem has been bothering me for quite a while now, but only recently has it grown to near-monumental proportions. The voices in my head keep telling me to do things. Bad things. I used to be able to fend...
Steph - Wednesday April 14, 2004
K.H. writes (II)
My boyfriend, the crazy fool, has just accidentally deleted our weblog. This wouldn't matter so much if it wasn't mostly being written by other people these days, but as it is, all those contributions have been cruelly wiped off the...
londonmark - Wednesday April 14, 2004

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