Uborka!

Oral Hygiene

To my right, the desk is occupied by a girl who is vegetarian. She tells us that - shock! horror! - the abrasive element of toothpaste is ground-up horse bones.

Someone asks, so how do you brush your teeth?

Demurely, she answers: I don't swallow.

Karen · Monday March 22, 2004 17:57

I bet she does ...

Adrian The Drain · March 22, 2004 19:51

She doesn't swallow her toothpaste?

Maybe I'm the weird one here, but this got me wondering... does anyone? I thought the whole point was to spit.

Hg · March 22, 2004 22:54

I don't swallow my toothpaste, but every morning I take a spoon of Doctor Melosophone's Invigorating Horsebone Powder (in syrup form, it has a pleasant maple scent).

As for the abrasive element in toothpaste, I have a strong suspicion that that is more likely to be horseshit.

Doctor Pockless (Revisited) · March 23, 2004 09:16

Her leather shoes stay on the outside of her feet too, I bet.

And she's wrong isn't she? It's chalk, surely, so you can assure her she can glug away, if she wants to.

robin · March 23, 2004 10:03

She's both right and wrong. The horse bone is a fallacy, but many commercial toothpastes contain glycerin. Now, unless she wants to chow down on a gobful of animal fat, I suggest she keeping spitting with the rest of the sane world.

I find I can keep my incisors in tip-top condition by ripping at the flesh of pack animals. Again, it is the chewing motion that helps keep one's dentistry in order, so there's nothing to stop hoards of vegetarians from roaming the plains in search of a herd of Zebra to stalk and slay, just so long as they remember to spit the masticated (and quite possibly still pulsing) gobs of fleshy expectorant.

Doctor Pockless (Nutritionist) · March 23, 2004 10:24

Boo! Get off!

But thanks for that.

robin · March 23, 2004 10:45

Hoist by my own heckle! You're welcome. There's nothing I care about more than the dental hygeine of Uborka readers.

At least, until the next fad comes along.

Doctor Pockless (Nutritionist) · March 23, 2004 10:54

I spit. Wife swallows.

Adrian - don't you dare!

Gordon · March 23, 2004 12:57

My work here is done.

Adrian · March 23, 2004 13:13
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