Uborka: I owe you an explanation

I owe you an explanation

There are a wealth of good reasons why I have not been around here much lately, and I really do owe you all an explanation.

Once there was a farmer who worked the land. He had three sons, called Aaron, Bbron and Ccron.

As he grew old, he decided that he would need to work out how to divide up his land between his sons when he finally became too old to look after the land himself.

To Aaron, he gave a marker pen. He said to Aaron "Aaron, shove this marker pen up your nose."

To Bbron, he gave a paintbrush. He said to Bbron "Bbron, take this paintbrush and ram it where the sun doesn't shine."

To Ccron, he gave a bucket of cow shit. He said to Ccron "Ccron, I always hated you, ya fucking wanker."

His sons stared at him in disbelief. "But father, " they said "How does this help you to decide how to share up the land when you get too old to look after the land yourself?"

He replied "Fuck you all, you bunch of pussies! I'm selling the farm and retiring to the Isle of Wight!"

His sons were shocked. "You fucking twat." they said.

He could only reply "Fuck you."

Pete · Wednesday October 08, 2003 18:57

Pete,

I can only say, you are a literary genius. That's the funniest thing I have read all week. Possibly ever. (Might be lying about the latter)

Hat tip. Remind me to buy you a drink sometime.

Adrian Sevitz · October 08, 2003 19:13

...and by the freakiest of coincidences, I am, at this moment, sitting at a desk...ON THE ISLE OF WIGHT.

Tell the farmer that we already have way too many retirement homes over here.

And crazy people. Oh yes. No idea why we're still importing them.