Agony Week
Steph and I have noticed that there are a lot of unanswered letters here at Uborka Towers, and so we thought that we'd do Pete and Karen a favour by answering some of the burgeoning mailbag.
Of course, most of it is fan mail and we've left all the pink envelopes and scented cards alone (I presume they're for Pete). Instead, we're just focusing on some of the advice which the reading public have sought from Mr & Mrs Uborka, and we've picked some of the problem letters out.
So, ladies and gentlemen, it's Agony Week.
londonmark · Monday April 12, 2004
13:14
So does this mean we can ask for help?
Adrian · April 12, 2004 13:43If you feel you need the help, Adrian, ask away.
Mark · April 12, 2004 15:21Where to start ... Ok here's a few ...
How do I know if I am Belle de Jour?
How do I know if I need your help?
How do I cook roast potatoes without oil but still have them come out crispy?
How do you know when you are in love?
How many fairys can dance on the point of a pin?
How long is a piece of string?
What is a normal amount of sex to have?
Why did I drink so much vodka jellie and whiskey?
Do I want kids?
Hmmm, yeah go on ... try help me ... :-)
Adrian · April 12, 2004 15:32Adrian - the men in white coats are on their way, put the kettle on for them.. there's a good chap.
Gordon · April 12, 2004 15:47They're coming to take me away hee hee haa haa
Adrian · April 12, 2004 15:54That Adrian,
Not sure I can help you out on all your problems, but thought I'd chip in where I can...
Given your later question about how much sex is normal, I reckon that points more in favour of you being Belle de Jour. If that is the case, then I'd suggest that if they're paying then it's not love.
You can still get crispy roast potatoes without oil by using lard (or solid vegetable fat if you prefer). This has the added bonus of not getting anywhere if you happen to leave the cold roasting tin within reach of a toddling Adrian (something my mother learnt the hard way...)
563mm. (that's the piece of green gardening string on my desk).
Hope that helps,
Not that Adrian · April 12, 2004 20:48