Happy Monday Ubotkans, hope you’re all having a good one.

It’s getting to the end of the year, so I’m taking a few odd days hear and there to use up some annual leave before Christmas. So, I’m taking some time for a TV day. Join me…

08:30 am – Storage Hunters (Dave)

Storage hunters is a bit like bargain hunters, but American style – so a lot more shouting. They auction off units at self storage places where people haven’t continued to pay their fees. It’s probably my guiltiest TV treat, watching people, the majority of whom are irritating in many different ways. It’s particularly fun when fist fights break out between the people bidding against each other.  So far in this episode, one pair have lost $1,000 on a storage bin that despite appearances was mostly empty, and another guy has just made $2,600 dollars on a storage bin that looked like a heap of rubbish but had lots of surf boards hidden in the back.

09:02 am – Magic Mike (Netflix)

Well why not? I’ve heard good things about this film, and I doubt it’s the kind of thing I’ll be able to convince Neil to watch it. (2 mins in, I’ve already seen a bare arse). Hopefully make a good accompaniment to finishing of some last #craftswappage bits.
09:45 – They’ve finally used the phrase “Magic Mike”. Apparently there are film clubs where at this pint in the film they would stand up, applaud, and leave the cinema.
10:27 – #Craftswappage parcel finished, ready to wrap up and go in the post.
10:49 – I’ve really enjoyed the film, much grittier than I was expecting it to be from the way it was advertised, but a good watch. It’s the story of a stripper, with big ambitions, a young kid he gives an opportunity to and the kid’s sister who watches from the sidelines. Some very fun bits, some much darker bits.

10:57 am – Poirot : The Mystery of the Blue Train (Netflix)
I can’t remember if I’ve seen this one before or not. I’ve got such a bad memory, will have to see if it starts ringing more bells.
11:11 – I think I may have watched the opening before, but the rest of it seems unfamiliar. And as much as I loved Jaime Murray in Hustle, I wish she would stop doing things where she has to do an American accent. She turned up in an episode of NCIS a few seasons ago doing the same, and it’s cringe worthy.
11:16 – And the train’s off. I would love to go on a posh long distance train trip like this one day. However, London-Venice return is almost £3,000 per person on the Orient Express, so that is going to have to wait for a lottery win.
11:32 – Murder! Someone was killed during an episode of Poirot? I’m shocked I tell you.
11:56 – Am tempted to number all the characters and run a sweepstake on who the murderer is.
12:11 – An attempted murder now. Failed, but they managed to stab that pillow really well.
12:19 – Oooh…Poirot’s getting grumpy. He doesn’t like it when people talk over the top of him.
12:30 – Killer revealed. And wool untangled, so I can hopefully make some better progress on my log cabin blanket now.

12:41 – Quantum Leap (netflix)
Just saw this while flicking through the options. I’ve seen any number of episodes of quantum leap, but never seen the beginning to understand what’s actually going on, so thought it wouldn’t hurt to give the pilot episode a go.
13:42 – bar some dodgy ‘future’ fashion at the start, this hasn’t aged as badly as might be expected.
13:51 – Ok, some signs of ageing in a few cgi effects. But heh, Al’s a hologram, he’s meant to look a little ropey.

14:22 – Peter Andre’s 60 minute makeover (itv)
Coming into this half way though as the great Uborkan unwashed seem to think I should be watching more live telly, and this looks like the crappiest thing that’s on at the moment. Peter’s in Lancashire doing up a loft conversion for someone. He’s wearing a white vest and dungarees. They’ve turned a red light on to do some photo work “Watch out, I’m seeing red” says Peter. Yep, this is as cheesy as I had feared.
14:31 – They’re reading out a letter about the person who they’re doing the makeover for. Not tearing up honestly.
14:35 – They’ve nailed plates to the wall. Not even gorgeous plates, strange dotty ones.
14:37 – and now they appear to be engaging in a bit of duct tape bondage in the bathroom.
14:38 – Adverts. This is why I try to avoid live TV.
14:42 – Oh look, Peter appears to be struggling to put a three panel screen together. It cannot physically be that hard. And is it a bad sign where I can recognise which bits of furniture they got from Ikea?
14:48 – Seriously, what’s with the plates?

15:00 – Pressure Pad (BBC 1)
Some kind of quiz? But it’s got John Barrowman hosting it, so it should have the required cheese factor.
15:02 – First round is head to head questions. The gimmick seems to be that they’ve got what looks like a big dance floor to stand out. I’m sure there’s more to it than that.
15:03 – Unsurprisingly, as in all day time quizzes, it seems to be the politics questions that are tripping people up the most.
15:06 – it took until the 50:50 question: “is meringue made from the white or yolk of the egg?” for her to get a question on food right.
15:11 – There is something really creepy about the way Barrowman pronounces the word “category”. It’s quite robotic.
15:17 – No, Alexander Graham Bell did not invent the lightbulb. It was a mix and match question, you didn’t even need to remember the answer, just recognise when it was there in front of them.
15:29 – No, Dick Cheney has never been president of the US. But they know about EuroVision!
15:35 – “What about Othello? That’s the one about the guy with a skull in his hand”
15:43 – It always worries me the kind of people who are willing to go on quizzes without even the most basic common knowledge.

15:44 – Paul Hollywood’s Pies and Puds (BBC1)
The silver fox is on the tele, mucking around with old fashioned recipes. Yum.
15:46 – I should probably do some form of housework before Neil gets home, so might have to dip in and out of this one.
16:17 – It cannot be sensible to do any baking with cuffs like that. He’s going to be finding crumbs in those for weeks.

16:32 – Antiques Road trip (BBC 1)
It’s only just started and one of the cars has already broken down.
16:34 – £65 for an empty bottle of whisky? Bugger off.
16:45 – Stop ripping off the shopkeepers!
16:54 – Ooops. Have spent too much time watching TV, and not enough paying attention in the kitchen. Dinner for tonight hasn’t defrosted yet.
17:02 – Auction time. I’m keeping fingers crossed that they lose money.
17:05 – Gavel: £20 profit.
17:06 – Empty whisky bottle – £25 loss Ha! And he got it for £25 cheaper than ticket price in the first place.
17:07 – Painting – £50 loss.
17:07 – Glass barrel – £55 loss.
17:08 – Oak smoker’s box – £10 loss
17:09 – random box – £10 loss
17:09 – pig jug – £10 loss
17:10 – cigar cutter – £10 loss
17:11 – pretty box – £10 loss
17:12  – snuff box – £20 profit. They’ve not really done very well there. I thought they were supposed to be experts.

17:42 The revolution will be televised  BBC3 – recorded
Sketch – Trying to install an actual glass ceiling in a the Afghanistan embassy.
Sketch – selling ice cream with “ice cream insurance” to bankers.
Sketch – chasing Nigel Farrage for an expense claim for coffee.
This was really quite funny. Included real shocking facts and statistics, then they chased MPs around. Has a definite hint of the Mark Thomas Comedy Product about it.

18:31 Pointless Recorded
Not this evening’s episode of pointless, but we have them all on series record and we’re a few weeks behind. It’s kicked off with a politics question: Only 36 people knew that Gordon Brown was a UK prime minister born in the 20th century.

(If you’ve got other suggestions for what I should watch next, let me know)