It's been a while, so with no further ado, I will get pouring, before you all die of thirst.

Oh, before I start, I have various messages to read out:

Sorry to hear about the break, Gordon. I'd like to sign your cast Anything: Better Than Nothing. Help yourself to champagne; that can be mixed with anything, you know.

Hi to new cocktail hour guest estee. No speed I'm afraid, unless you scroll the window really fast. You could share Vaughan's tea with gin, if that will help. Or you could chase the Black Dragon.

Kate is the latest potm nominee; go and read it when you've got your drink.

Happy NotBirthday to... well... everyone, but particularly to Jann, who is paying for today's drinks.

Right. Gert and Graybo both appear to be suffering morning-after-effects. I have two glasses of clear liquid; one of them is water. Who's choosing first?

Then we have the storm-themed drinks, for Adrain and Mike.

And talking of storms, or at least of slightly sulky behaviour, Mark and D appear to be having some sort of a scuffle, so they had better sit at the front, with Pix to keep an eye on them and supervise their drinks. Apparently the bone of contention is to do with creativity. This would be a good time to offer Lyle his black russian, wouldn't it?

While we're on the subject of really quite disappointingly ordinary cocktails, I'll be supplying Nick's standing order for a Cuba Libre, Mr.D's Mai Tai, and qB's Bloody Mary, which could actually be improved by the addition of some of Pete's pepper vodka.

I'm pleased to note that one person at least is observing Talk Like A Pirate Day. Avast, Paul, here's your rum, me hearty.

And the prize for most heartfelt cocktail request of the week has surely to go to Aquarion. Having some trouble, are we? Wanna borrow a shredder?