Good afternoon and welcome to you all on this beautiful summers day. If you’re sitting here reading this while the sun is high in the sky and there’s not a cloud to be seen – what are you doing? Get outside and enjoy it!
But if you are here then perhaps you’re just checking emails to see who’s replied to those last minute invitations to the barbecue you decided to hold tonight. But let me guess. You’ve bought the charcoal, you’ve got the potato salad, you’ve marinaded the chicken and the beer is chilling in the fridge.
But you’ve forgotten dessert.
Well fear not, because I’m here to give you a foolproof Draconian Dessert recipe that will make you the envy of all your guests.
Dragon’s Tiramisu
What you need:
1 Bottle Kahlua
1 Bottle Dark Rum
(Optional bottle Brandy)
200ml Strong (and I mean STRONG) black coffee. Kenco Instant is good for this if you can’t be bothered to make some filter coffee.
500g Marscarpone Cheese
75g Caster sugar
3 Medium Eggs
1 packet Boudoir biscuits (sponge fingers to you)
Cocoa/Hot Chocolate powder
Serves up to 6/8 people or 4 extremely greedy ones.
Right, got all that? Good! Let’s crack on.

1. First off, the coffee. Make sure you’ve made the coffee strong and have let it cool down. Add a couple of splashes of rum (with kahlua and brandy as optional extras. Whiskey works too) Make sure you add a splash extra because you won’t have added enough.
2. Next, seperate the eggs. Try not to get too much eggshell into the egg white.
3. Use a whisk to beat the egg yolks and caster sugar together until it’s a pale, thick and gloopy mixture. It should be quite smooth in consistency. Slowly add all the marscapone and mix it together until smooth. When it’s very smooth and pale, add some kahlua. A couple of splashes maybe alright but you can always add a teaspoon or two more. Don’t add too much because it’ll get too runny.
4. An optional extra step is to whisk up the egg whites until they are nice and fluffy and then fold the egg whites into the marscapone mix. You don’t have to do this but you get a lighter texture
5. Get a large glass cooking dish (rectangular ones are far better and easier for this than round ones) that’s about 1.5 – 2 inches deep. Place the boudoir biscuits around the bottom of the dish until it’s completely covered and then build up around the sides.
6. If you don’t think you’ve got enough alcohol in the mixture, drizzle a little of the rum and/or brandy over the biscuits. Otherwise, you can go to the next step.
7. Pour the coffee mixture over the boudoir biscuits until they are soggy. Don’t drown them!
8. Spoon in the marscapone mix over the boudoir biscuits until either the dish is full or you run out of mix. You can spend your time putting poncey patterns in the top or you can just flatten it out and then sprinkle some of the cocoa powder over the top.
9. Cover with cling film and put into the fridge. Leave for at least an hour so that it firms up and chills.

And that’s all there is to it.
A couple of warnings though. One: this recipe contains raw eggs so don’t eat it if you are or think you are pregnant. Two: if you’ve followed my version of the recipe, this will be extremely alcoholic. You may not want to try driving, operating heavy machinery or standing up after eating it.
Now get out and enjoy the rest of the day!