July 15, 2004

No Colours Anymore

Choosing a song for the UborMix (UberMix?) has been harder than I thought.
It doesn’t help that I slammed Mark for his choice of artiste and in doing so, left myself wide open for criticism of my own preferences. (Hang on a sec – this is Uborka! Who needs a reason?)
Then Lyle makes a commendable selection by Nine Inch Nails which, according to the unspoken rules of MixCD track selection, denies me the chance to use them as a song resource. (Put two tracks by the same artist on the same CD? Nick Hornby would turn in his grave!)
So back to the brief: a song that reflects the personality of my website. The obvious choice is “Headcleaner” by Einsturzende Neubauten – the song that gave the site its name. I’m not sure that the mix CD can take a 15 minute industrial track about a mythical political brainwashing substance. Sung in German. Perhaps not.
What about the “Green Green Grass of Home” by Tom Jones, a good old song about the Principality to annoy Karen? Except that she’s been quite nice to me recently so again, no.
Where, oh where can I find inspiration? Where is my mind? Hold on, that’s it! “Where is my mind?” The classic Pixies song used to such good effect at the end of the movie Fight Club. But wait – the lyrics are entirely non-sensical. A contender but let’s see what else there is.
At this point I begin to realise that my website has little to no personality so best I move on. A song that describes me…

The first track that springs to mind is “Godlike” by KMFDM but my catholic guilt kicks in and suddenly Radiohead’s “Creep” seems more appropriate. Then the strangest idea – what about Olivia Newton John’s “(Let’s get) Physical”. After all, I’m a sporty, outdoorsy, rugby playing (soon to be) Tough Guy – it’s quite appropriate. And there’s an industrial cover by The Revolting Cocks too. And didn’t they also do a cover of “Do ya think I’m sexy?” Wow – a two for one! And yet no, not the right choices.
It’s not getting easier and I’m going mad trying to find a song and I being to worry that “They’re coming to take me away, ha haa, To the funny farm – where life is beautiful all the time“. Of course, it would have to be the Lard cover.
So no song about my website, no song about me – that maybe leaves a song about the last six months.
Now we’re in trouble.
Immediately a torrent of depressing angst fuelled inspiration comes to mind. Johnny Cash’s cover of Nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt” – a great song ruined only by the damned Goths insisting on waving their lighters along at a live performance. Twunts. Nine Inch Nails “Gave up” – wait, we’ve already had NIN, so no. Foetus‘ “Steal your life away” coz damn I’ve feeling genocidal a lot recently. More or less any track from The The’s existential album “Dusk” (in particular “Slow Emotion Replay“)
Hmmm looks like I’ve got enough to do my own Mix CD here. Perhaps even a double CD! “Music to watch life go by” – available on D-Tel soon. Place your orders now!
But there’s one song that’s already been mentioned that probably best fulfills all three goals. A song about my site, a song about me and a song about the last six months. “Paint it black” by the Rolling Stones.

I look inside myself
and see my heart is black…
Maybe then I’ll fade away
And not have to face the facts
It’s not easy facing up
When your whole world is black

So that’s my selection. And now that I’ve brought the mood down I’m going to paint my weblog black and then slash Morrissey’s wrists.


11 thoughts on “No Colours Anymore

  1. After all that grindy turmoil of American angst (a genre that ought to be known as Tantrum Music) you finally arrived at a sterling choice. Thank Christ (and his sidecar).
    That said, I’d have been happy with the Lard. I used to wear that T-Shirt with the tapeworm head on it, fool that I was.

  2. “all that American angst”? Pixies isn’t angsty – just obscure!
    And Lyle, RevCo = Ministry by any other name. Will that do?

  3. Hardly “slammed”, my dear Dragon, more “lightly slapped”.

  4. I wasn’t so much thinking of the Pixies in this case… And obscurity is a fine alternative.
    They came and took me away.

  5. I’m beginning to think that the *perfect* Uborka Mix track would be The Fall performing a mix of industrial and winsome indie.
    I *think* I’d like to hear that, too. I think.

  6. Vaughan, it sounds like you’re referring to The Fall circa the Cerebral Caustic album.
    Bear in mind, however, that it would have to be The Fall performing a mix of industrial and winsome indie in a pair of kinky boots.

  7. And the problem with that is that I’m finding the thought of Mark E Smith in kinky boots distinctly off-putting. Shiver.

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