Bitch. Ph.D. on what to do when your children find your sex toys:
Restraints, cockrings, and such: no big deal. You can always just say it’s for playing pirate, although again you’ll have to deal with the fact that they’ll go missing and end up in the wrong toybox, and again they’ll commandeer the cockrings as bracelets or something. I cannot emphasize too much the importance of keeping your sex toys clean when you’ve got kids around.