Last week our theme was fire, and this week it’s water. Next week’s theme will not be Christmas. This afternoon you will find the bar open down by the pool; please keep your clothes on, it’s nippy out there and we don’t want anyone to catch a chill. Also, decency.

As many of the punters have pointed out today, there’s already a lot of water in them there cocktails, particularly the ones featuring ice. I’m taking a leap of faith by letting Lyle have a cocktail that might make him punch someone in the mouth; usually he just offends people. We’re going to need someone sensible like Graybo to keep an eye on him.

For those who like to get drunk without the inconvenience of actual drinking, and who are unconvinced by virtual cocktails, I have discovered a water-based chemical alternative. Guinea pigs will be needed, so I propose that Clair and Lisa put their brandies aside and give it a go. Graybo can stand by with towels just in case this is a particularly wettening experience. Who says men can’t multitask?

It has been noted that Team Uborka includes a number of non-believing doomed-to-hell heathen types (including myself); we also have a goodly number of curmudgeons on board, including Mr Gammidgy, grouse extraordinaire. I’ll just take this moment to remind him he *promised* a #yulevent post, so that’s something to do during his weekendly abandonment. Or head over to Casa Uborka and share your children with us, we don’t mind. Here’s your purple rain.

Our little Doctor Pocky-Woo, meanwhile, has educated us all on the vodkasome nature of love, which is always helpful, and disappeared up the river.

Asta has invented her own cocktail and is actually going to make it! We would like photos of it after the party, please.

Today we have a few orders for the absent: Lyle requests a large G&T for Pix, though actually I have found something even more appropriate; and I’m having an akvavit, and will be pleased to share it with Pete.

And now, cold showers for everyone, and have a happy weekend!