May 17, 2004

And now the news.

Welcome back to Channel Uborka where we take a quick look at some of the major headlines of the last few weeks.
Ex-KGB man backs new MI6 chief
Ex-KGB man and present KGB woman Inna Traktorfaktori said in an interview today that she gives her full backing to the new head of MI6, John Scarlett. Since taking on the role, Mr Scarlett has caused much controversy and been accused of nepotism and cronyism after it transpired that he had filled several high ranking positions with friends and close acquaintances.
Within two weeks of filling the chair last occupied by Dame Judi Dench, Scarlett, who later on this month is to be given the honorary rank of Captain, assigned influential roles to former colleagues Norman Black, Derek Green, Estella Blue and eighties pop-diva Belinda Carlisle. Many of Scarlett’s critics were suprised at this move.
Miss Traktorfaktori claims that the spy chief is justified in his decisions in light of recent revelations that, following the loss of the Beagle 2 explorer, he is refocussing Britains “War on Terrorism” against the Mysterons, a terrorist network believed to sheltering in the Tharsis area of Mars, Crater 101 on the moon and Stourbridge in the West Midlands.
Mr Scarlett was unavailable for comment although Miss Carlisle made everyone a lovely cup of tea.


2 thoughts on “And now the news.

  1. I would love to hear Bush’s unprompted, unspun reaction to someone asking him the question;
    ‘Do you deny that the Mysterons are currently the greatest threat to America?’

  2. He would reply something to the effect of:
    “Mysterons thretify America and the world every bit as much as any global terror orga Nazay-shun. It is impertive that every siddezun be on their gaurd against the danger posted by Mystrons, Airbs, and haemasexals both as individuals and collectively, operating in cells throughout the chemkal warfer commune-ty.”

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