May 17, 2004

Current affairs

Back to todays news.
US State recognises gay marriages.
In an unprecedented move today, the state of Masachusetts published a guide for all citizens giving them details about how to recognise gay marriages. State spokesman Daryl D. admitted today that there had always been a problem with recognition due to largely androgenous appearance of state residents. In a statement, he said “There’s always been a problem with recoginition due to the largely androgenous appearance of state residents”. Matters have not been helped by the fact that the ambient temperature in all places of worship had to be at two degrees celsius or less during a marriage ceremony, as required by law. Consequently, wedding parties would traditonally wear traditonal Inuit clothing and this made sex identification next to impossible. As such it was impossible to tell whether the bride and groom were in fact a groom and groom or, indeed, a bride and bride.
Four years ago, the Governor’s office went to researchers at M.I.T. to ask them to help. They invested $1 billion dollars into the project and two months ago, scientists emerged with their results. They determined that if people were naked when getting married, it would allow people to recognise whether or not it was a gay marriage. New legislation has been rushed through over the last 6 weeks to change the law regarding marriages and as of today, all brides and grooms must be naked, irrespective of whether they are marrying someone of the same sex or not. A $6 million dollar advertising and marketing scheme has been implemented to educate state residents on the new laws and how to be able to differentiate a gay marriage from a non-gay marriage. A series of workshops has been set up to give people practical experience on recognising gay marriages and the volunteer run scheme is offering a free pair of opera glasses to the first 100 people who sign up.
Reverend Charles C. Charlie Charles founder of the Little Church of the Saintly Shrub and a long time proponent of nude marriages said that he thought the move was a positive step in the right direction and welcomed the chance to finally be able to recognise a gay marriage for himself. His added that he was delighted and encouraged by the news that a proposal for the abolishing of the temperature laws was also being considered.


3 thoughts on “Current affairs

  1. That has to be the longest post for such a poor PUNch line. Awful.

  2. Yah! Boo, Hiss!! Ged orff the stage! Let someone with an ounce of humour have a go!
    Oh! Erm… it’s me innit.
    Ah well. I have no excuses.

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