May 30, 2004

I’m ashamed. Why am I telling you all this?

WARNING: Contains scenes of violence towards arachnids
We were strolling through the garden, looking at the flowers and bees, when she pointed at the lavendar bush and asked me “What’s that?”
I looked at where she was pointing. Suspended in a spider web was a little spherical cluster of about a hundred tiny yellow and black dots, the whole thing being less than an inch across. Next to it was another such cluster.
“Looks like a load of eggs, of some kind.” she ventured.
(at this point, I wanted to show an image of the scene in Aliens where Ripley is in the lair with all the eggs, and she torches them all with a flamethrower. I spent hours searching the web for this image but could not find it anywhere. I did, however, manage to come across some interesting pornography)
The little things were apparently at a much more advanced stage in their life cycle than we originally thought, as they went scarpering for cover when I lit them up.
We left none alive.
Other interesting things to happen this weekend so far:
1. A new Lloyds bar is opening locally today. Karen and I spent all of Friday night and Saturday lunchtime eating and drinking for free as part of the new staff training programme. We estimate that we have consumed three glasses of wine, five pints of beer, seven cocktails, one coffee, a J2O and four-and-a-half main meals between the two of us. For free.
2. Between the hours of about 4pm and 1am yesterday, Karen and I watched all three Lord Of The Rings films back to back, punctuated only by toilet breaks and opening the door for the Indian restaurant delivery guy. Proud of ourselves? You betcharass we are.


3 thoughts on “I’m ashamed. Why am I telling you all this?

  1. Quote: I did, however, manage to come across some interesting pornography
    ….must …resist …urge ….to ….quote … Beavis and Butthead!

  2. I see you managed to resist.
    Well done.

    Pete on June 1, 2004

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