I cannot think of my song.
I have tried, for days upon days, but I cannot think of a song that reflects my blog.
It has, I admit, come to me in this time (and I admit, I may have been procrastinating) that what I have is not a blog. A blog is an outward looking thing. With links and things and all-over-the-place-in-a-good-way-finger-in-every-pie-ness. I do not have a blog.
But the only definition that seems to leave is journal. I do not have a journal. A journal is a very inward loking thing. I do not tell enough about my life to have one of those.
No. It is inbetween. It is sideways looking. It is a blurnal.
My blurnal, therefore, is just the bits of me I chose to show. I wanted to chose Wishin’ and Hopin’ (The Bacherach song, the Ani Di Franco version), syrup-stained-girly in lyric, knowingly-sexily-dry in delivery, it says a lot. And I love it a lot. A version of Like a virgin, by the Meat Purveyors (from the album ‘All relationships are doomed to fail’) was a strong choice too. Old material re-done in a squwiff way, that appeals to me, I wonder why.
I was thinking about my favourite songs over the years, Repetition by Blur, Finest worksong by REM, Yes by McAlmont and Butler, It’s not easy being green performed by Kermit the frog and songs I’ve listened to over and over and over again and oh, bunches and bunches and bunches, I can’t think, because I’m trying to decide.
It’s down to these: One of these things first by Nick Drake, Way to Blue by Nick Drake, Cello song, by Nick Drake, or One with the birds by Bonnie Prince Billy.
And these are all quite sad songs, kind of, and I feel quite sad right now, so reflecting me in a blurnal kind of way, I’ll pick one of those. And it is one of my favourite songs, and it always makes me cry, and I’m never sure why. My song is One with the birds by Bonnie Prince Billy. If I can have two songs, which I know I can’t, I’ll also have the Ani di Franco Wishin and Hopin, because it represents everything I and my blurnal are when not depressed. Can I have two, please? Oh, or just one, if you’re mean…
But y’all should go and listen to the rest of those songs too. Nick Drake in particulear.