July 2, 2004

Girls, a User Guide: Part 6 – N – Blind Drunk

Best laid plans and all that.
Time has fleeted and there are cocktails to be served, and a divorce to be celebrated.
So, since I’ve run out of time, brain power, and many, many other things, the drinks thing today will be as follows:
When asking for a drink, please provide a mini-guide/story/something funny for each of the following letters or items (adding your own definition for a letter is permissable).
N (Norks, Nipples)
O (Orgasms)
P (Periods, Predictability)
S (Sex, Shoes)
T (Thighs)
U (Underwear)
V (Vagina)
W (Wonderbra)
X (ex- as in ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend)
Letters for which I was unable to come up with, for which I will be ultra impressed if you can come up with something for any of these.
… and don’t forget to order a drink for Karen while you’re at it, because this party is in her honour.


8 thoughts on “Girls, a User Guide: Part 6 – N – Blind Drunk

  1. N – Naked dancing
    R – Redheads
    P – Performing
    O – Oral
    S – Sex
    T – To
    U – Ultimately
    Q – Quickly
    W – W*nk a
    V – Very
    X – eXcited
    Y – Young
    Z – sevitZ
    A drink to a now single and available Karen, and naked dancing redheads.

  2. Q is for Queens – girls that are not really girls, and best not snogged (if one is a blind drunk heterosexual) on New Year’s Eve.
    I’ll have a pint of whatever comes to hand, and another for Karen.

  3. P is for Periods and Predictability, in relation to each other and Pete’s comments below. P is also, coincidentally, for Pete.
    Mine’s a Pimms & Lemonade, and another for me.

    Karen on July 2, 2004
  4. Y is for Yellow – a kind of love that we really don’t want to discuss.
    But in that theme, I’ll have a large Yellow Chartreuse please.

  5. Y R Z Q’s for ladies’ loos always so long?
    I’ll be having a pint of my one of my favourite ales, Old Peculiar.
    And line up another Pimms & Lemonade for Karen to keep her from being sober for the rest of the day.

  6. O is for that flat, robotic, faintly bored noise that pretend-lesbians make in pretend-lesbian pr0n:
    oooh… ooooh… ooooh… oooh….
    As I fancy what Dave’s having, It’s also for Old Peculiar. Please.

  7. N is for Nosebleed, which is exactly the sort of thing you don’t want to happen when being cunningly linguistic with a girlfriend.
    The dilemma. Should I have:
    a) let her believe that her time of her month had not yet passed and held her in my sway for a long while afterwards
    b) interrupted her profuse apologies by claiming all the responsibility, clean myself up and carry on where I left off?
    I’ll have a Bloody Mary please, Bob.

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