August 20, 2004

An open letter to the Uborkites

Thank you for your timely and informative responses. It is my pleasure to distribute cocktails according to your multivariate wishes.
With so many resources at his fingertips, we can always rely on Ade to know exactly what is needed, so he thoroughly deserves his pit of beer. Unfortunately there’s not a lot I can do to prevent Piss Artist Pockless and ClearBlue Dave (the man who named himself after a pregnancy test kit), from swimming in it.
It is truly a delight to see Father Robin return from his holiday. In deference to Mrs Robin, I’m afraid I can only offer an orange squash. I think perhaps that kate has already reached what she sweetly describes as drunktime, and so perhaps she should have the same thing. Or a coffee without that whiskey in it.
That prick Adrian has spent a lovely week arguing with some feminists. I say feminists, but really I mean women with absolutely no sense of humour whatsoever. Women who don’t get Richard Herring. Women who, I expect, would think corsets and unsuitable shoes to be deeply, deeply wrong. So I say: go, Adrian!… and here’s your drink. Have a nice holiday.
The mysterious Mr Stark has returned, just in time for a vodka and coke; and perhaps he could do some sky-diving with the newly-bloggerless Mr D. I’m sure they would have a lot to talk about.
Smwht prplxd by Dsy‘s rqst, s n drnk fr hr. Sh shld knw hw mch brk hts txtspk.
Double vodka & tonic for Graybo. Moving swiftly on before he notices the time… and a sloe crush for Lyle, who is advised not to be contacting Santa Fe, lest they be alerted to the theft of a menu from the Reading branch last Saturday. I doubt he has a suitable alibi.
Sorry it took me so long to answer your letters; it’s been right hectic around here lately.
Lots of love,
Karen. xxx


7 thoughts on “An open letter to the Uborkites

  1. Oi who you calling a prick. Can’t you wait till I have had several of these and start behaving like one first.
    Feminists. It’s all about penis envy anyway. I mean a drink called a COCKtail ….
    Drinks up and starts groping all the girls, Feminists or otherwise.

  2. Girls, feel free to escape Mr. Sevitz’s clutches by joining us in the pit – the beer’s lovely!

  3. Hmmm, I’d forgotten the missing drinks menu. And as far as I’m concerned, I didn’t see it, it never happened.

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