With this week’s Uborka Artist in Residence, Ray Davies.

They seek him here, they seek him there,
His clothes are loud, but never square.
It will make or break him so he’s got to buy the best,
’cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion.

And when he does his little rounds,
’round the boutiques of london town,
Eagerly pursuing all the latest fads and trends,
’cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion.

Oh yes he is (oh yes he is), oh yes he is (oh yes he is).
He thinks he is a flower to be looked at,
And when he pulls his frilly nylon panties right up tight,
He feels a dedicated follower of fashion.

Oh yes he is (oh yes he is), oh yes he is (oh yes he is).
There’s one thing that he loves and that is flattery.
One week he’s in polka-dots, the next week he is in stripes.
’cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion.

They seek him here, they seek him there,
In regent street and leicester square.
Everywhere the carnabetian army marches on,
Each one an dedicated follower of fashion.

Oh yes he is (oh yes he is), oh yes he is (oh yes he is).
His world is built ’round discoteques and parties.
This pleasure-seeking individual always looks his best
’cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion.

Oh yes he is (oh yes he is), oh yes he is (oh yes he is).
He flits from shop to shop just like a butterfly.
In matters of the cloth he is as fickle as can be,
’cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion.
He’s a dedicated follower of fashion.
He’s a dedicated follower of fashion.

Doctor Pockless: Welcome back readers. Today I’ll be asking Mr. Ray Davies to explain the origin of the Carnabetian Army.
Ray Davies: Hello.
Doctor Pockless: Hello, Ray. Tell us, what on Earth is the Carnabetian army?
Ray Davies: In order to understand the Carnabetian Army we must go back to the time of Hannibal, the Carthaginian general, and leader of the famous march by Elephant across the Alps. The Carnabetians were the sworn enemies of Carthage who lived in the Carnabetia region to the North.
Doctor Pockless: Are we then to suppose that the “dedicated follower of fashion” of this poem’s title is in fact Alexander, King of Carnabetia, or Hannibal himself?
Ray Davies: The Carnabetians searched for Hannibal as he made his journey across the Alps, and attempted to discredit him by spreading rumours to the effect that he wore “frilly nylon panties” – unfortunately for the Carnabetians, this had quite the opposite effect. The poem is actually about Hannibal and his brother.
Doctor Pockless: Yes, now I recall! It was the Second Punic War, which started as a result of a popular song in Rome in which it was stated that Hannibal’s brother, Hasdrubal Barca, was also known to wear “frilly nylon panties.”
Ray Davies: That’s right. But they called the Romans’ bluff by riding into battle dressed exactly thus!
Doctor Pockless: So, why were the Carnabetian’s searching in Regent Street and Leicester Square?
Ray Davies: Is it not enough to say that they haven’t found him yet?
Doctor Pockless: Yes, I suspect it is. Mr. Ray Davies, thank you.
Ray Davies: Thank you.
Doctor Pockless: In matters of the cloth we’re as fickle as can be. Wise words, indeed.