August 6, 2004


They say that too much beer
Will result in feeling queer;
So, to keep me hearty and hale
Can I have a nice cocktail?


16 thoughts on “Thirsty

  1. I’m not sure who is in charge of drinks this time
    and that by posting this I’ve not committed a crime
    but if it’s you who will meet our whims
    may I have a large Pimms?

  2. Thing is, I was lying awake last night
    Worrying that I hadn’t asked someone to post the cocktail invite*
    Drinks will be served around the usual time
    And requests should, of course, be made in rhyme.
    ps. Mine’s a large glass of wine.

    Karen on August 6, 2004
  3. Syntactical Crimes
    I’d order my usual
    but here’s reason whyn’t
    I usually say that
    Mine is a pin’t
    But pint is a word
    With which nothing rhymes
    Unless you are willing
    To commit syntactical crimes
    But, lo! Unexpected
    It appears that I am
    You can put back the vodka
    And pack up your dram
    Mine’s a pint after all
    So let us have beers
    My syntactical accuracy
    Is not what it appears.

  4. There one was a Dan from the Border
    Who never knew quite what to order
    When it came to the time
    to order in rhyme
    acute-brain-affective-bipolar-conversion- depressive-genetic-glandular-sleep-terror- violent-anxiety-congenital-delusional-emotional-inherited-schizophrenic-major-affective-neurological-personality-posttraumatic-stress psychosomatic-respiratory disorder.

  5. I’d like to have ordered a vodka,
    But I can’t think of anything to rhyme with vodka,
    So instead can I have a kamikaze,
    Before I retire to the khazi
    Please and thanks should be said
    before I’m wished to be dead.

  6. Beer then wine
    Will make me feel fine
    Not wine then beer
    For I’ll feel quite queer

  7. I’d like a vodka
    But nothing with orange
    To drink in a taxi
    But not one that’s purple

  8. A gin would be fine,
    But then, so would some wine.
    Cider’s a no-no,
    The same as a Pernod.
    Vodka is risky,
    Like Tennessee Whisky.
    You could serve brandy,
    but beer would be dandy.

  9. Hmm, he pondered, as he stroked his chin,
    I might just have some tonic and gin.
    Or maybe a guinness, just for a change,
    I could order it now and maybe exchange,
    but for what, he cried, banging his fist,
    who knew getting drinks was as hard as this…

  10. I’d like to be the first to say
    ‘please give me something soft’
    but, then, since it is me, no way
    would such request be held aloft
    and thrust into my waiting hand
    for anyone who’s met me knows
    strong spirits are my right demand
    and drink for drink while drink still flows.
    So, to this end I’d like to ask
    for vodka, gin, tequila, rum
    triple sec, sours, cola (to mask
    the smell – I have to see my mum)
    Yes, that’s right, long island tea
    (that’s iced) would make my afternoon
    So one for the road, and one for me
    An umbrella in it too. Balloon.

  11. I will fly into JFK
    On some Octobery day
    Some people will say ‘hooray’.
    Now give me a drink. I got my interview date for the US Embassy in London!
    Beer please!

  12. He might drop by occasionally, but I doubt you’ll be able to tell the difference…

Comments are closed.