I read yesterday that confectionary manufacturers are phasing out king-size bars, as a measure to tackle obesity. The people who will be hardest hit, of course, are the recently-dumped, who will no longer have recourse to vast amounts of chocolate to fuel their heartbreak.
The next logical step will be to ban consumers from purchasing more than two regular bars at a time, in the same way that bulk purchases of paracetamol have been outlawed. This will prevent unpremeditated bingeing; but without vigilant policing, will be an insufficient measure if the potential consumer of chocolate has the foresight to buy their chocolate in advance.
The Food and Drink Federation is keen to encourage consumers to eat in moderation, and presumably this has something to do with the fact that KFC are now offering rice as an alternative to chips. The chicken is still deep fried by YTS rejects, but at least the vitamin and fibre content is increased 100% by the spring onion garnish.
Healthy food is now officially fashionable, which means that those of us who prefer not to follow the herd will have to start eating rubbish, just so that we can still feel like individuals. Pass me that airport-sized Toblerone…
September 28, 2004
For your own good
YTS?
Youth Training Scheme.
Now New Deal. Or “Jobs for Scrots”
Think burberry cap, speech impediment, pram.
Oh Scallies. Why didn’t you say so.
Pah. They can introduce all the laws they like, they’ll just drive us underground.. chocoshine stills will be built in hidden locations… shady dealers will offer “a chunk for a
After eating all that bad food of course
(Damm Post button.. who pushed that!)
Wasn’t the YTS phased out in about 1988? As for the latest health-food fad, all I can say is MEAF!
Speaking as a marketer, and therefore qualified to say this, I can’t help but be cynical and suggest that sales of king size bars have plummetted in recent years and withdrawing them can be tarted up as a proactive, consumer-friendly, health-conscious gesture – and not some quick cash-saving decision to save our arses from being whipped by the shareholders at the AGM.
Oi!
I was on the New Deal for a while.
What?
They put you on it automatically if you’re unemployed for any length of time and you’re in a certain age bracket.
The recently dumped can still turn to Ben & Jerries for their fix. One sitting, one tub, a whole lotta chunks.
Spammer.
Freeloader.