Hey, guys. It’s been too long, hasn’t it?
Okay, okay, steady with the questions, one at a time. I’ve been doing some seriously awesome stuff over the last 18 months or so, and it’s been a rollercoaster ride, know what I’m saying? Firstly, I went to Blackpool, where I chewed some hay and walked up and down a beach. Then I went to Brighton, where I chewed some hay and walked up and down a beach. Then I went to Skegness, where I chewed some hay and walked up and down a beach. Then I went to Portishead, where I chewed some hay, walked up and down a beach, flipped the bird at a guy on the road and got punched in the face.
I remember when I walked out on Pete, must have been a coupla years ago. Told him never to contact me for any reason, any reason whatsoever, the only exception being if he needed me to represent the face (and ears) of a totally awesome film-based project.
So here I am.
Your challenge, people, is to go and see Closer, starring some Americans. And then we’ll meet up back here, and you’ll try and convince me that it wasn’t shit, and I’ll try and convince you that it was. Send in your reviews by Monday 24th January.
And once we’ve got that out of the way, we’ll watch some fuckin’ awesome film with guns and car chases, instead of namby pambying around and pontificating about love.
January 11, 2005
This Whole Film Club Thing
Woo, I’ve seen Closer already. Do you want reviews in the comments box?
What are you, some kind of spoiler-making machine? Don’t you dare!
I’ll want them by email. uborka.filmclub@gmail.com, if you’d be so good.
Donkey – when are you going to get your own site? And how do you type with hoofs? (Hooves?) Do you have a secretary and use a dictaphone?
Why, good afternoon, my gray chum. As far as getting my own site is concerned, I can’t see that happening. As you have probably guessed, my life is helluva busy – the activities listed above represent only the printable fraction of my various daily distractions. If I did start my own site, it would be immediately closed down for being offensive and awesome, and just too darn revelatory for the human mind to comprehend. So sorry.
I have a very large keyboard for typing on. It’s about four times as wide as the sort that you skinnyfingered homo sapiens use. I’ll have a play with Photoshop and see if I can get a photo of it up for you.
Donkey! Good to see you back! I always meant to ask you – do you by any chance know Mr Ed?
(PS: I just fancied saying the word ‘glue’ for no particular reason. Ahem.)
Yeah, I know Mr. Ed, though these days he insists that we call him “talentless hack”. Sounds crazy, I know, but it’s true.
I’d hold off on the “witty” glue remarks, if I were you. I’ve got some choice words of my own that have been known to drive humans to take their own lives. Consider this to be your first warning.
And I’m not really the second-warning type.
I do not believe Donkey to be your true name. Clearly you are Hugo Rune in thin disguise.
Hey Donkey. Good to meet you. I look forward to joining your filmclub. I am a little apprehensive though, as my Mum had an bad incident at Prestatyn once. It wasn’t anything to do with you was it?
Yeah, that rings a bell actually, adhoc. Prestatyn. I remember her. Fantastic woman. Nice pair of… eyes.
Next time you see her, can you ask her to drop me a line. I’d like to go for another roll in the sand with her sometime.