June 13, 2005

There are worse things than being eaten

In response to Bob Parsons’ 16 Rules For Survival
1. Chill the fuck out. Despite what you may believe, life is not a competition. There is no prize for the person who dies with the most money. We all decompose in pretty much the same fashion, and we all smell the same amount of bad while we are doing it.
2. Sometimes you have to know when to stop. The advice “Never Give Up” can only go so far and smacks of ignorance or fanaticism. Sometimes, YOU WILL BE WRONG. This is a fact. Unless you’re one of those people who is always right, and knows it, goddamnit.
3. World domination isn’t the be-all and end-all. Being the most successful entrepreneur in the world and doing whatever it takes to get ahead is not the only path to happiness.
4. Be nice to people occasionally. You never know, you might need a friend when the rest of the world tires of your self-righteous pontification. What’s the point of making yourself happy if you make 100,000* other people miserable?
5. Don’t assume that what works for you works for everyone else. Life cannot be boiled down to sixteen simple rules. There’s always an exception, and as such, you’d need an infinite number of rules to capture all eventualities.
6. It doesn’t matter if you do it wrong. In a million years when mankind has died out and the Earth is the property of the mutant badgers with telepathic abilities, they won’t be pointing and laughing at any of those dumb humans.
7. Don’t introduce yourself as an entrepreneur. I can’t explain why, it’s just a thing that I have.
Though I agree with some of Bob Parsons’ points, I confess that I immediately scanned through the comments looking for the people who disagreed with him (always much more enlightening than the streams of “oh bob you are god”s). The results of my hunt were disappointing, so I have taken it upon myself.
* This is a random number. Though not as random as 0.2349782143054


2 thoughts on “There are worse things than being eaten

  1. From Bob’s rules: “Anything that is measured and watched, improves.”
    I know firsthand that simply isn’t true [rimshot]

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