April 2, 2013

Name The Baby!

Yesterday afternoon we got back from being away, to find that our new baby had been delivered. I use the term delivered with great care, since in my professional world we say, haughtily, that babies are not delivered, they are born. But this one was definitely delivered, in the post. Pete quipped as I cut open the packet and pulled it out by the legs that it was clearly breech.1 This is not a joke he could or would have made back in the old days.

Bernard heard our remarks about the new baby and bimbled through to the kitchen to ask if we were having a baby. A playmate at last! he was thinking. I quickly disappointed him by explaining that it was a new teaching doll, used to demonstrate good positions to hold a baby to breastfeed. My previous doll was at least ten years old, rather grubby from living in the boot of the car, and the arm kept coming off, which really didn’t help me to instill confidence in handling one’s baby, in the parents-to-be.

2013-04-01 12.20.05

The old baby [left] was named Stuart after two members of the old cocktail crowd, and also because it was one of Bernard’s shortlisted names. Introducing him to an antenatal class as Stuart always raised a smile. What shall we name the new baby?

  1. Coming out arse-first []
Karen

31 thoughts on “Name The Baby!

  1. I may never forget the disturbing image of that ‘baby’ on the right.

    Name suggestion: Cedric.

  2. The name Laszlo is the Hungarian version of Lesley. I once did a course with a guy called Laszlo who’d called his IT education company “Lesleysoft”.

  3. I probably should give hum a gender neutral name so it doesn’t in some way affect clients bonding with their own babies. But I don’t care for Lesley much.

  4. Handwash! Bet it says it on the label too.

    (Guess who had had repeat readings of the Stripy Horse recently?)

    Relly on April 2, 2013
  5. According to the label, hus name is “unsuitable for children.” I’m not sure that sends the right message, either.

  6. Kestral. This name was discussed at a party I attended this weekend. Apparently the parents chose Kestral because they thought Eagle was too much. Swear.

  7. If androgynous gender-interchangeability is the way to go, I’m voting Leland. Which I *thought* was just a boy’s name, but apparently not.

  8. Better idea: Holly. Can be male or female and you wouldn’t want to stick it near your boobs.

    (I’m not really helping here, am I?)

  9. Graham.

    My other half had a great aunt called Graham. By all accounts she found it a hard name to carry.

  10. Most of those aren’t even names, never mind gender neutral names.

  11. Another Mike! Thank you for your suggestion. It might go to Graybo’s head,mind you.

  12. We used to be overrun with Adrians. Now we have a quantity of Mikes. Do you think they will fight, if we keep them both?

  13. *How* did I not know this? The day I find out is the day I’m being retired.

  14. Stuart, you’re not being retired, just kept for spare. This morning you had a fun ride in the washing machine, and now you’re hanging upsidedown from a clothesline. Not retired at all.

  15. Gotta feel sorry for the 374 boys named after the little mermaid.

  16. I was always slightly confused that Shakespeare foolishly used Ariel for a male character.

  17. Well, Adolf was a perfectly reasonable name until 70 years ago too.

  18. Or Cameron, which is *apparently* gender neutral these days. These wacky modern parents.

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