We’re on a bit of a convoluted train today, which appears to be stopping at Birmingham, Crewe and Florida. Never knew the Virgin Pendelino went that far.
So, as it’s a rather sunny day here, just outside Glasgow, let’s take over the first class carriage and cause merry hell there. And please excuse me finishing off the winegums while I serve. Your at seat service today will include club sandwiches and triangles of whole meal toast, crusts cut off, and covered with marmite. Additionally, large platters of sea food are available from our well stocked on board buffet, for those (ktd and jonny) who complained about missing out yesterday.
Sat in seats 1 and 2 we have Mike and Pete on the Wadworth 6x. I’m guessing the 6x means they get six bottles each? They might get a bit loud, feel free to kick them off at Preston if they do.
Next row along Stuart and Krissa are drinking hurricanes, and trying to avoid the small rain cloud that seems to be defying science to appear over their heads, the weather is not being kind to them.
Lyle is knocking back rainbow shots. I think I saw some yellow tequila in there, blue curaçao, cassis and creme de menthe. It’s probably best if we leave him sat on his own.
And having a nice chat round a table, Karen’s got a bottle of Merlot, and a straw, Ann has an elderflower spritzer, but we’ve popped an extra bottle of vodka there as well, just in case. Asta’s got a sea breeze, sorry about the broken window, feel free to move if it gets too windy, and Graybo is working on a whisky and Irn Bru, which will probably make him start glowing in the dark soon: handy if the train stops on any tunnels.
Thank you. Most kind. Although I am concerned that this train seems to have only one toilet every four carriages and there’s a huge queue. Is Lyle in there already?
No, I’m in the toilet because I saw the ticket inspector coming and I don’t have a ticket.
If I were in there, no-one else would be queueing to use it, believe me.
Please remember to lock the doors securely when using the toilets. We’re on a virgin train and the last thing we want is the “slow reveal”.
I’d be less worried about the “slow reveal” than about the creeping green horror that has resulted from the combination of travel and esoteric alcohol, plus that dodgy curry from last night…