Tell me about your insomnia. Back end of last year, I thought I was cured forever. Turns out I was only cured until Christmas. Last night I was still awake at 3am, which made my 6am wake-up call from the Small Boy hard to bear.
I lie awake and try to do all the relaxing things, to think the happy thoughts and unclench my shoulders. I doze off occasionally and then my foot itches or I need a wee or the cat jumps on the bed, and I’m awake and have to go through it all again.
I know Uborka! is rife with insomniacs. Share your pain.
My sleep has actually improved of late – according to Fitbit Flex I now average around three hours a night.
It all varies with me. Sometimes it’s about not going to sleep, sometimes it’s about waking up at oh-my-fucking-god-o’clock, and most of the time it’s about truly disturbed ‘any noise will do’ waking up.
Sometimes it’s all three – and that’s when I want to kill things.
The weirdest ones are lucid-dreaming that I’m awake and can’t get to sleep. I’ll swear blind I’ve had a vile night and couldn’t sleep at all, and partner will say ‘you slept’. Might be mind games (I wouldn’t put that past at least one ex) but it’s been a consistent thing. But those lucid dreams leave me just as wiped out as properly not sleeping.
Currently my body clock is in a weird phase anyway – I’m working 7.30-3.30, so with getting up plus the hour’s commute, I’m up at 5.30. (And awake. Yeah yeah. Pervs) But I still can’t persuade myself that I should also go to bed earlier as a result. So I’m still awake at 11pm, midnight, and getting up earlier. But weirdly my sleep-levels have improved.
In short, it’s a bastard. And the only light at the end of this particular tunnel is a freight-train coming the other way.
Just me then? Grand.