Good morning. My name’s Jack and I’ll be your gaggingly enthusiastic host here on Uborka for the next week.
Along with my partner Dan we’ll be serving you some of the most lip-smacking, calorific, mouth watering, get-down-to-Weight-Watchers-and-beg-for-mercy pieces of… actually though, now I think of it I’m not 100% sure where Dan is.
Despite yesterday’s flurry of increasingly hysterical emails encompassing the popular themes of Goodness Is It Next Week Already, My How Time Flies and The Panic of Impending Uborka Guesting Has Started Me Off with Those Naked in My French GCSE Dreams Again, there remains some not small confusion within our partnership over who gets to wear the spangly leotard and who gets to throw the knives.
(He’s currently arguing most persuasively for the leotard, seemingly with the view that leaving this guest spot with detachable legs is a more than fair trade-off.)
So. Yes. Moist, crumbly, melt-in-the-mouth goodness lovingly handcrafted just for you, as soon as I find Dan and make him stop picking those sequins out of there.