May 2, 2004

Leader of the Bat: A Musical

So, first there are these gossipy schoolgirls, talking about Betty behind her back. You know the sort of thing: (She’s no better than she should be. Have you seen the length of her skirt? Is she really going out with him? Well, there she is. Let’s ask her…)

Then who comes round the corner, but Betty herself, and the girls look mighty embarrassed at being caught bitching about her, so they have to pretend to be her best friend.

– Betty, is that Jimmy’s ring you’re wearing?
– Mm-hmm Betty’s thinking that these bitches had better not say anything that would make her cry.

– Gee, it must be great riding with him. Is he picking you up after school today?
-Uh-uh Betty looks at them as if they’re stupid. How can they not know the news, it’s all over school.
– By the way, where’d you meet him?

-I met him at the candy store; He turned around and smiled at me, You get the picture?
(yes, we see. Gee, it aint rocket science, honey)
-That’s when I fell for the leader of the pack.

But now she’s started talking about him, it just feels so good to get it all off her chest. -My folks were always putting him down (down, down)
They said he came from the wrong side of town

(whatcha mean when ya say that he came from the wrong side of town? You’re not so high-class yourself, you slapper.)

-They told me he was bad, But I knew he was sad, That’s why I fell for the leader of the pack. One day my dad said, find someone new. I had to tell my Jimmy we’re through –

(whatcha mean when ya say that ya better go find somebody new? You think you’re in an episode of Romeo and Juliet or something?)
-He stood there and asked me why, But all I could do was cry. I’m sorry I hurt you, the leader of the pack.

-He sort of smiled and kissed me goodbye, The tears were beginning to show. As he drove away on that rainy night, I begged him to go slow. But whether he heard, I’ll never know.
(No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh come on, it’s self-evident that he didn’t. If he’d heard you, maybe he wouldn’t have died in that hideous wreck.)

– Look out! Look out! Look out! Look out! I felt so helpless, what could I do? Remembering all the things we’d been through
(Oh please, we only just heard you were going out with him. It was hardly the passion of a lifetime.)
– In school they all stop and stare; I can’t hide the tears, but I don’t care. I’ll never forget him, the leader of the pack.

(The leader of the pack, now he’s gone,
wasn’t watching the road, now he’s gone
The leader of the pack, now he’s gone,
you dumped him, and now he’s gone)

But, do you want to know what really happened?

Sirens are screaming and the fires are howling Way down in the valley tonight
There’s a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye And a blade shining oh so bright
There’s evil in the air and there’s thunder in the sky And a killer’s on the bloodshot streets
Oh and down in the tunnel where the deadly are rising Oh I swear I saw a young boy
Down in the gutter He was starting to foam in the heat

(tell me more, tell me more, did she put up a fight?)

Oh Baby, you’re the only thing in this whole world that’s pure and good and right
So what the hell do you mean, your dad says ya gotta find somebody new?
You said you’d put out, and it would be tonight;
And now you’re telling me that we’re through?
How about just once, make the most of our one night together
When it’s over you know, We’ll both be so alone.

(tell me more, tell me more, she seems rather uptight)

Well if I’m not getting any, then I’m out of here. You said you loved me, but I guess that was just so I’d give you a lift home from school.
I’m gonna hit the highway like a battering ram On a silver black phantom bike
When the metal is hot and the engine is hungry And we’re all about to see the light
I’m all dressed up with no place to go, and everything is stunted and lost
And nothing really rocks And nothing really rolls And nothing’s ever worth the cost
And I know that I’m damned if I never get out, And maybe I’m damned if I do
But with every other beat I got left in my heart, you know damn well I wanted to do it with you.

(You’re the one that I want, you’re the one that I want, ooh ooh ooh)

Oh Baby, you’re the only thing in this whole world that’s pure and good and right
And wherever you are and wherever you go There’s always gonna be some light
But if I’m not getting any here I’ll go someplace else
When it’s over you know We’ll both be so alone

(You’re the one that I want, you’re the one that I want, ooh ooh ooh)

I can see myself tearing up the road Faster than any other boy has ever gone
And my skin is raw but my soul is ripe No one’s gonna stop me now I gotta make my escape
But I can’t stop thinking of you And I never see the sudden curve until it’s way too late
And I vaguely hear you yelling look out look out look out look out
But as I said, it’s way too late.

Then I’m dying at the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun, Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike
And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell, but on retrospect it was probably you, you made a hell of a lot of noise after the blind bend, thanks for your input. You know, you had a mobile phone, you could have called an ambulance. It’s the least you could have done, after you pissed me off so much that I crashed my bike.
And the last thing I see is my heart Still beating
Breaking out of my body And flying away Like a bat out of hell
Breaking out of my body and flying away Like a bat out of hell

Karen

1 thought on “Leader of the Bat: A Musical

  1. I have spent the morning listening to my favourite girl groups CD, trying to sing these new lyrics to Leader of the Pack.
    It’s . . . difficult.
    Mind you, I do look lovely in a beehive wig, so there are bonuses.

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