Can someone help me get this pinney tied on at the back? Thanks.
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There can only be one theme for today’s cocktails.
The theme of LURVE.
And you all know which LURVE we’re talking about, right?
Well, of course you do.
A couple of days ago, Stuart and Krissa – Blogland’s newest Cutest Couple, and Uborka readers both – announced their engagement simultaneously, on their respective blogs. The ensuing jubilation, on both sides of the pond, has been quite deafening; the Biggest Excitement Of This Week, I would venture to say.
So let’s mark this happy occasion with an Online Engagement Party, shall we? Please place your orders for suitably celebratory toasts.
(I’ve had some extra fizz shipped in, by the way, so there’s no danger of running out. I’m anticipating something of a run on the Bollinger.)
To accompany your toasts, and since it’s a Special Occasion, I am also taking orders for complementary canapés and snackettes. However, these must feature at least one Rare And Endangered Species.
(As for the non-meat eaters amongst you, I’m afraid you will have to settle for snackettes featuring endangered vegetables. Or rare fruit. Or I suppose the chef could do you an omelette.)
The canapés will be served to you this afternoon by my glamorous assistant, the lovely and fragrant (despite the pervading whiff of ammonia) Miss Dodo Carpaccio. (Many of you will doubtless remember Dodo from the 1971 Eurovision Song Contest, when she represented Sardinia with the immortal Ding-Dunga-Dodo-Doo.)
Dodo and I will return later.
Can someone help me get this pinney tied on at the back? Thanks.
You saying KrisStuart are cuter than the Uborkids?
I’ll have a Wedding Belle Cocktail and with a bit or a horn (rhino horn that is)
Bit or horn, Adrain? I shall have to press you on this.
Oooh, can I have a glass of the Bollinger ’63, please, and perhaps one or two of your wonderful Coelacanth finger pastries?
Thanks Mike, you’re a star!
I’m too excited to sit still – we’re moving in together tomorrow too – , may I have two bottles of Veuve Clicquot, because I like the box. Oh, and two for Bobbie as well, I suppose.
Snacks? Well, he’ll have the flatbread with impala pate, and I’ll have a panda kebab.
sorry, I’d just like to clarify that I’m not moving in with Stuart and/or Krissa. Because it rather sounded as if I was.
So Hurrah for them, all happinesses and wishes of blessings and joy, and can I please just get drunk now.
Apparently there are less than 400 northern muriqui remaining, so I’d like to fatten the liver of one of these rare primates so that I can make delicate pate to compliment the Kakapo Egg Salad.
Otherwise, mine’s a pint.
Surely we’ll all get a glass of Bollinger for the toast, and can I have a tiger juice cocktail instead of a canape, y’know, less eating, more celebrating and all that 🙂
Is Stuart going to give a speech?
Can I have a bottle of Bollinger too, please (remarkably good choice there) and a straw? Thanks! As for my complimentary canapé, make it a Lesser Spotted Tibetan Spotted Yak vol-au-vent. Marvellous, dahlings.
Anna & Bobbie: I guess you’ll have to settle for being The Biggest Excitement Of Next Week. (We are a fast-moving milieu.) Miss Carpaccio and I are, naturally, thrilled for both of you.
(“HERESSSS TO LAAAV!”, trills Dodo in the background, as she skewers the panda. I think she might have made an early start on the Mateus Rosé.)
I would like a Kir please, made with fresh raspberry syrup and Laurent Perrier. (LP is the champagne that reminds me of my boy, because he bought me a bottle in Cannes on our first holiday together. So suitably luuurvey I hope!)
I’m not hungry though, so I’ll pass on the endangered canap
Is it too early for a pint of the old Guinness?
I shall have a glass of wine made with sour grapes, because we were only ever the Biggest Excitement of Last Week. Following that, I would like to toast the happy couple with a brimming glass of bubbly, and call for a speech from Stuart, please. And I’d like to reiterate that I told him he would meet the love of his life at a blogmeet, way back in the distant past when he first started to drink here.
Finally I’ll top up with a tequiwi; if we drink enough, the dear little New Zealander birdies will soon be endangered.
Oh my God.
You’re right, Karen.
Pint of Bollinger, please. And a slice of toast with some Yellow-Eyed Penguin Liver p
Even if that is stretching the definition of ‘blogmeet’ more than a little…
Press me … press me baby.
I would love a glass of Bucks Fizz please but would be happy if anyone could whip up a love potion for me as I seem to be unlucky in love it would be much appreciated and as for snacks its just got to be fresh strawberries to enhance the flavour of the champers, boring I know but it will go down a treat. Cheers!
God, those Yellow-Eyed Penguins look almost too cute to force-feed. (As she stretches their gullets for one last gulp, I could swear that Dodo is audibly sniffling. And she’s not what you might call a soft-hearted woman.)
How’s the speech going, Stuart?
Er, I’m still trying to get in references to mammoths.
oh my goodness, i’m blushing and giggling at the same time. an online engagement party! what ever shall i wear?
well, at least i’m drinking exactly what stuart’s drinking. i’ve consumed more champagne in the past week than i have in my life, so why stop now? and since i’m terribly fond of giraffe, i’d like miniature giraffe quiches, please, with all seven vertabrae included somehow.
speech! speech! speech!
Er, do you want it now, or shall I mail it to you Mike, for the party?
Stuart – I’ll e-mail you with my (non-public) e-mail address.
Good Morning Krissa! This will be more of an Engagement Brunch for you, I guess. No speech is strictly necessary on your part – providing you are happy to oblige us by blushing and giggling a lot, and nuzzling the side of your head into Stuart’s neck at every possible moment.
i will commence the girlish nuzzling immediately. and champagne brunches are the new black. huzzah!
Ah, Giraffe Vertabrae Vol-au-Vents! I happen to belong to the Ancient Order of Exotic Banquetry, and last year not only were we served this delicacy, but the giraffe’s heads were sewn back on to their bodies, so you had neckless giraffes wandering among the guests throughout the meal. I think this, in itself, made them rare.
Ohhh, I’ll have glass of the champagne, and the spotted owl patte, please!
Oh Christ, TD has just been BoingBoinged. WHAT an afternoon. Dodo has toddled off to re-fix her hair lacquer, muttering something about being “ready for my close-up, Meestah Doktoroff”, leaving me with a sackload of kiwis to stuff in the blender. Hay-ulp! Where’s Gert when you need her?!
* rushes in late *
May I please have a mug of vodka and some cheesy ocelotsis?
Dear GOD. Since being BoingBoinged less than an hour ago, I’m getting roughly six visitors per minute. That works out at about one every TEN SECONDS. Which means that there are hordes of Bollywood-loving Americans trampling all over my fixtures and fittings, and dropping crisp packets everywhere… and oh, the noise, my dears, the noise…
Don’t worry, Uborkians. Dodo has put a couple of her Sicilian cousins on the door to this place, and they’re manning the red velvet rope with admirable (if at times somewhat forceful) aplomb. We’ll all be fine.
I’m so sorry I’m so pathetic
The cocktails frightened me. I took to my bed. It was only supposed to be for a short nap.
I’m so sorry.
Don’t worry Mike, I’ve found that some low-key pottering round clearing up is the perfect post-engagement-party hangover activity; especially when coupled with leisurely big-fry-up preparation that means you sit down for breakfast about 3pm, so we’ll all come round to your place tomorrow morning and help.