June 23, 2004

Mars: Arguments

Into every life a little rain must fall.
If something goes awry and your lady is not happy, then things are looking bad. You’ve obviously made a mistake somewhere along the line, or that angelic beauty of yours would not have stopped to illustrate her displeasure.
It is obvious: you are in the wrong.
So you need to do something about it. Mysterious, unfathomable and wondrous though they may be, women can, sometimes, give you some sort of clue as to what you have done. Even if you have no idea, and this might be more common, there is a little mantra which might come in useful at this point.
“Please, please, I’m sorry, forgive me.”
DO NOT deviate from this until you are sure what has happened. Never promise never to do something again until you know what it is not to do. There is very little idea that even the most intelligent man could possibly gain about which of his activities might make his lady disgruntled, and sadly, it is impossible to simply do nothing to keep her gruntled.
These are provided as examples only, and should not be taken as Gospel.
The Importance of Communication
It’s not all about being passive.
A lot of it is, but not all of it.
Your lady understands that a good relationship is about the free flow of expression and understanding, and whilst we understand that it is actually about hooking that girl for good through letting her wander off covnersationally about anything she wants, it doesn’t do ay harm at all to gently remind her that you are in fact, a wonderful listener, by expressing concern that maybe your views aren’t being taken in all seriousness. It doesn’t matter if you have never expressed an idea to her at this point. The aim is merely to remind her how much she needs you to talk at.
Unwelcome Intrusion
Women can be fiercely independent creatures. The smallest thing can cause their intrinsic territorial nature to flare, and so this should be borne in mind in your relentless, insipid attempts to insinuate yourself into her life. Hinting at the fact that some clothes of yours may as well stay in her apartment, for example, or moving in your records, books, and Last Will and Testament.
Little things.
Just be aware.
Harmonious Family Life
You can choose your friends, and indeed your life partner(s), but not your family. Family can be a grave source of arguments, and it is every man’s hell to be caught in the crossfire between the two women in his life. You will know from long experience that Mother is not to be questioned or doubted, but to take her side in any conflict is to sound a death knell for your long-running plans for marital bliss. So what do you do?
Ensure that conflict never occurs. Ensure that your Chosen and Mother never meet, or gently impress upon your lady how important familial harmony is to you. This is also handy, because in the term ‘familial harmony’ your lady is of course referred to as PART of the family; a great step forward towards your wedding day.


6 thoughts on “Mars: Arguments

  1. So what you are saying essentially, is that as men, we are essential buggered when it comes to women?

  2. i’m particularly fond of the “relentless, insipid attempts”. it brings to mind a stubbornly persistent … jellyfish.

  3. It’s worse if your Mother and your Chosen do meet and find that, not only do they get on, but that they share very similar views on life.
    Disregarding what this says about your psyche, it makes for a miserable time when you want to do something they don’t approve of.

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