August 8, 2005

How To Be An Owl: Part One

There are a number of crucial steps required to become an owl.
The first, and most important, is to want to be an owl. This, as we have already seen, I have taken care of.
The next step is to look like an owl. To do this, procure a baggy jumper, and put it on, but don’t put your arms into the sleeves. Sit down with your knees up to your chest, and pull the hem down as far as you can. Grab hold of your feet, and you are an owl!
I am quite an inflexible chap, so for the purpose of demonstration, I kneeled and grabbed hold of my knees instead. We will deal with my inflexibility in the next instalment, which will address matters of rotating one’s neck through many many degrees. Don’t miss it, yeh?

The appearance of an owl

8 thoughts on “How To Be An Owl: Part One

  1. Come on, I’m sure you can do the Lotus. Then feet grabbing will be easy.

  2. Hey, I can’t be the world sleaze excuse. This is how I get a reputation you know. You can’t sleaze vicariously through me, get your sleaze in, but have me look like the sleazy one.
    What is the world coming too.I’m really a nice non sleazy guy you know. Really I am.
    And Pete is an owl. Lets focus on that. Like that’s not odd.

  3. This is all very similar but a smaller version of a comedy routine that Chris Langham ( one of the original “Not the nine o’clock news” team ) used to do.
    Once you have this you then act “cold, constipated and japanese” .
    Ah here we go;
    “One of his funniest routines is Being an Owl.”

    Stuart on August 9, 2005

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