It’s a warm and still afternoon. Beams of sunlight from high windows spotlight the desks. The only sound is the turning of pages and occasional surreptitious slurps of cocktails, which of course should not be in the library. What a shame we have no Lori today, she would rock the librarian look. We will consider her to be here in spirit, drifting around the shelves and scolding you reprobates for slurping behind the pages.

Thank you all for your book donations; it’s quite an eclectic collection by now. In Pete’s absence, I will donate his copy of The 13½ Lives of Captain Bluebear, which I have never managed to get into; and I’ll get him another bottle of Proper Job, which he seemed to enjoy last night.

Roald Dahl seems rather popular among people who may not have heard the terrible audiobook of Charlie And The Chocolate Factory that we had to listen to last summer. We now have the proper, Eric Idle version. My personal favourite is Fantastic Mr Fox, but I could still live without ever having to read it again. On the other hand I’m very much looking forward to starting Lyle‘s suggestion, the Northern Lights books, with Bernard. Haven’t seen the film; shan’t bother. Your librarian cocktail sounds vile.

Over the years, Lisa has given me hundreds of great book recommendations. I almost always follow them up, but am currently overwhelmed with to-reads. Right now I’m in the middle of Bad Pharma, but I’m sure I will get round to your latest suggestion eventually. Thanks for the baking book. Yesterday I made emmenthal biscuits; today I have made garlic bread and fruit scones; tomorrow I will make a chocolate sponge. It’s baking weather, right? Enjoy your whiskey.

Clair, if ever there was a drink that shouldn’t be in a library, surely it is mead. Sticky and vomit-inducing stuff. Please use a bib. Certain members of the community will be laughing behind their hands that you have donated a Pratchett book to the Uborka Library. I shall request the librarian to give you an over-the-glasses glare.

Star of this week’s interview Graybo, and welcome newcomer Miss Gammidgy, are both lurking with summery drinks behind weighty historical tomes in the section marked “Books that look like they mean it.” Graybo’s children’s book recommendations are all seconded by me and by our resident expert in that area, Bernard. Though currently he’s addicted to Narnia, so it’s possible that his judgement isn’t that great.

There’s a nice leather sofa area in the lobby, where star of next week’s interview Gordon is reclining pathetically like a victorian lady, sipping his hot toddy and whimpering softly, unable to finish the marvellous Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, a book that sat on my shelf for years after Stuart recommended it to me, and I eventually picked up and couldn’t put down earlier this year. The also-absent Dr Pockless would almost certainly enjoy that book. I have not, however, come across these Flashman books.

Pigwotflies has really raised the standards of alliteration around here, in her punt with her punnet and her Pimms. Except we definitely don’t allow punts in the library. No punts. Please leave.

You may have blinked and missed Asta, who dashed through, dropped off a handful of obscure books, and hurried out again with her glass of champagne. Or that might have been Chocky, the scary alien who gave me bad dreams when I was 13. Thanks for that, Other Mike.

I’m going to drink loads and loads of cider, and give everyone a David Mitchell book. Not that David Mitchell, the other one. And then I’m going to lie down in the shade. I only really function between 18 and 24 degrees. After that I overheat. So does the bot.

Happy weekend everyone, don’t try to do too much.