Okay, what the fuck do you want?

This is K: I’m a non-blogger. I never really got it, apart from vicariously reliving our antics through Troubled Diva. However, I became an enthusiastic late adopter to Twitter as @ktd (oh, and I’ve been lazy with my alter ego, @feasance_miss).

I was introduced to this social media thing by my partner and co-counsellor @miketd. He now tells me off for spending too much time chatting to strangers. (“Where’s my dinner!”) I really don’t know where this came from, since I am an antisocial grump who prefers to swear and hide from the public. But then, the keyboard provides the perfect foil for the outside world – I really don’t like telling people to fuck off in person.

I’m a cell biologist with a dilettante research history. Basically, I am into finding new ways of diagnosing disease, principally that bastard cancer.

I do science because it’s what I’m best at, and it’s not too bad to make a contribution to health. That said, I’ve always been interested in all things creative, particularly the visual arts. Pictures are better for me since I struggle with worms.

I’m a bit of a cook, and I like my wine (both quality and quantity, as evidenced by late night Twitter obscenities). I love our garden. I like good clothes and design. I wouldn’t survive without Mr Porter, because that would involve interacting with the real world. Despite hating the real world, I’ve seen most of it. I used to love travelling, but now it’s just a pain in the arse.

I have an unhealthy obsession with contemporary studio ceramics – I come from Stoke on Trent. This causes @miketd anxiety, because he thinks we are running out of available surfaces.

So please come to me for embarrassing body issues (I’m a biologist), food, wine and restaurants (I’m a drunken glutton), gardening advice (I’m middle aged) and men’s sartorial questions (I’m gay). Also travel (boutique hotels only – did I say I’m gay?), interior design and great pots.

Footnote: I’m very cheap, but I don’t do budget.

Now fuck off and leave me alone.