August 12, 2004

Other People’s Kinks

Despite the opinions of current and former colleagues, I am not the world’s most prudish woman. You know this; you’ve seen my shoes.
I would like to think of myself as an open-minded and tolerant kind of person, but frankly, I’m not. If you were to laugh or disapprove of me teetering in my unsuitable platform stilettos and matchingly unsuitable pvc dress, I would not be impressed. I would think you lacked sophistication. I am such a hypocrite.
The thing is, fetishes are funny. Other people’s kinks make me laugh. Try this:
Grown men in nappies.
See? You laughed. I defy you not to have emitted the smallest of sniggers.
I have absolutely no problem with grown men wanting to wear nappies and suck dummies [diapers, pacifiers], if that makes them happy, but they have to allow that there’s a certain amount of ridiculousness in it. The fact that someone, somewhere, makes babygros in adult size, suggests an entrepreneurial pink and blue vision. I imagine some northern textile magnate with a glut of terry-towelling.
Moving on, then:
Girls dressed up as ponies
That’s not sexy. That’s just silliness in the guise of girls who weren’t quite spoiled enough as kids. Daddy wouldn’t buy you a pony? That’s ok, you can be harnessed to a cart and wear cloppy heels and insert a tail… ok, I’ll stop.
The wearing of a rubber body suit, including stockings and a full head mask, in a nightclub on a hot summer night
There is no supply of talcum powder large enough.
Blokes in french maid outfits
You can shave your legs as much as you like, your knees are still not going to be pretty, and no matter what you dress up as, your bathroom cleaning skills are still likely to be inadequate.
Men who wear nail varnish and/or eyeliner
Actually, that’s kinda cute.


12 thoughts on “Other People’s Kinks

  1. Um, actually, no. I didn’t snigger. Each to their own. Doesn’t do anything for me but I can understand that other people might have a thing for it.
    On the other hand, smoking fetishes are just weird.

  2. Well, as long as there’s something that you think is just weird, you’re normal, Dragon.

    Karen on August 13, 2004
  3. Chicks smoking can be quite hot. Depends on the girl and the size of the cigar.
    And pony girls might be a bit strange, but pig tails and pony tails on girls are still cute.

  4. Someone was telling me recently about a friend of thiers who stuck things up his own urethra for fun. Toy cars, books of matches, even a little keyring that plays a song when you shake it- he shoves them up there and keeps them in his bladder.
    As someone who recently got something shoved up his urethra, I can tell you that THIS IS NOT FUN OR PLEASANT! DO NOT DO THIS THINKING YOU ARE IN FOR A GOOD TIME, YOU WILL BE SORELY DISAPPOINTED!!!

  5. Yeah, someone was telling me about a guy who shaved his chest and sprayed himself with liquid latex before going clubbing. Takes all sorts…

    Karen on August 13, 2004
  6. Well….it’s best if you have someone kind to shave it for you. Plus the peeling-off process is loads of fun.

  7. Oh, and genitals, as well. I just hope I don’t get aroused by something, that latex only has so much give…..

  8. I do think guys that wear nail polish and eye-liner is very cute and also very sexy in a mysterious way, but thats just me.

  9. Evidently it’s not just you, if it works for me as well.

    Karen on August 13, 2004

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