Here are a few of them, pricked out and bright-eyed. They’ve all been watered and transferred inside to the window sill. All 34 of them.
So now you know what you are all getting for your birthdays.
Part One · Part Two · Part Three · Part Four
April 10, 2005
The Complete Life History Of A Chilli: Part 5
My birthday is on May the twelfth.
Mine’s in November. I think they might’ve grown a bit by then. And probably died again too.
My birthday is May 12th too. They look good – somebody at Uborka Towers is clearly an expert at pricking.
Graybo, of all people, I do not believe that you want a plant for your birthday.
Can I buy one? My birthday’s not for ages.
The chillis are not available for purchase.
However, you do get one for free with each copy of my CD (while stocks last). Only
Real buggers to pack and send, I’ll be bound. I think you should limit this offer to purchasers who present themselves at your premises.
Arse. What if I’ve already bought a copy of said CD?
And I suppose they’d be illegal to bring to the US?
while stocks last… there are currently more chillis available than CDs.
Ah, but have you taken into account that we will want to keep a few of those chilli plants for ourselves, and a few of them aren’t looking too healthy either (Pete Doherty especially)?
Graybo – good point, yes, only to people who present themselves at our premises.
I have no idea about taking chillis to the US. I suppose if you issue the plant with a biometric passport, they can’t really refuse it.
Pete Doherty is out of rehab already. Soon he’ll be thriving as healthily as Anna and the rest of the brood.
You’ve named them all?
Why, that would be crazy!
I want to know the names.
Anna? Pete?
Hmmm.
Don’t forget Rufus and Kate, and of course, Pete Doherty (who’s probably suffering from a change of trousers)…
You can only take/send plants to the US if you apply to the Plant Health and Seeds Inspectorate (a division of the Department for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs) and obtain a Phytosanitary Certificate. The usual charge for this is £85.
I did think that "Vaughan" might be an appropriate name for a chilli plant. Then I thought that that was a ridiculous notion as chillies are not known for their obfuscation.
No, chillis are straight to the point.
Well, more usually wiggly to the point, which I suppose could be taken as obfuscation.
Kind of.
I’m overthinking this, aren’t I?