July 11, 2005

While The Cat’s Away

…the mouse plays Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.
I have made good progress during tonight’s 75-minute session. Well, I did at first. I managed to complete three missions pretty quickly (only one of them took two attempts) but then I’ve found myself getting bogged down on a drag race. I have to race against three other guys across mixed off-road/on-road stage. My car is far faster than they are, so I’m taking an early lead and storming away, but it’s actually a little too overpowered, and I’m finding myself landing in the river repeatedly. After half a dozen attempts, I turned the PS2 off in disgust.
An alternative strategy may be called for. Perhaps I can force the other competitors into the river somehow, leaving me free to trickle round the circuit at 2mph.
Right now, I fancy a nice refreshing glass of Jameson’s


22 thoughts on “While The Cat’s Away

  1. It seems I’m still wine, so I shouldn’t mix. Cold, crisp, white please.
    Have you managed to unlock the more raunchy parts of the game?

  2. Dude, watch out for that game, it’s waaaaay too big to complete in one lifetime. It IS a lifetime, in a box.
    I heard they can’t sell it in WalMart anymore because it’s now officially classified as p0rn.

  3. I read about the raunchy parts, but to be honest I’m not that interested in cartoon boobies these days.
    Dan, it’s a big game, true, but I’m confident that I’ll get it finished, at least the storyline missions. As long as it continues to entertain me, I’m getting my money’s worth.
    I think the great strength in the game is that it’s well set up for directionless noodling. Driving a taxi, going to the gym, stealing planes, playing basketball, parking a truck at the exit to a tunnel on a freeway and watching all the cars hurtle into it, or my personal favourite which is driving motorcycles off of cliffs and bailing out into a river. It’s how The Sims should have been.

    Pete on July 12, 2005
  4. This is why I gave up playing games. Just took too long to finish, and I lost interest.

  5. It requires a slight shift in priorities. You have to be able to stop and smell the roses. Though they aren’t real, so I suppose it makes more sense to say “look at the virtual roses”.
    As a general rule, I don’t play computer games, but at the moment I don’t really have anything better to do. I doubt I’ll have finished it by the end of next week, so I’ll then probably put it away for another few months.

    Pete on July 12, 2005
  6. Karen “The Cat”..
    I’ve a feeling She won’t be overly amused by that imagery?
    Then again…

  7. You’ve got it quite wrong, Mr D, she has always been very happy to be the cat. She would happily sleep 14 hours per day, and she makes a small mewing sound when distressed.

    Pete on July 12, 2005
  8. Because I suck at the missions I spend most of my GTA time in the gym and consequently my character is built like a brick shed.
    He has got a nice leopard print cowboy hat, though.

  9. When I got the game, one of the earliest things I did was hit the gym until my character’s muscle stat was up to maximum. Which is daft really, because AFAIK the only advantage of a high muscle stat is that your melee attacks are more powerful. Maybe I’m just overcompensating for real life.
    Now, having maximum stamina is a different matter altogether. That’s very useful for when I’m running away from hordes of cops hellbent on my arrest, shrieking “discretion is the better part of valour” in a girly voice.

    Pete on July 12, 2005
  10. Oh, and regarding clothing, I’m currently wandering round in a black t-shirt and blue jeans. I feel that it’s the most closely matched to what I’d wear in real life. I don’t wear a hat though, as it would cover up my awesome cornrow.

    Pete on July 12, 2005
  11. If you’re drinking Irish, you really should be drinking Black Bush or Bush Mills.

  12. Hey, I’m entitled to my tastes, and you’re entitled to yours. The beauty of it is, all of us are right.
    Doesn’t that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, guys?
    Peas out.

    Pete on July 12, 2005
  13. sorry wasn’t having a go at your taste but recommending my favourite Irish, that all.
    And Black Bush definitely makes you warm and fuzzy on the inside.

  14. I seem to remember that you wanted that game PURELY so that you could smack up bitches.

    The Cat on July 13, 2005
  15. Ah, I’ve been practicing for this occasion… let me see… ahem.
    Hey, what’s yo’ problem, bitch? Shut da fuck up!

    Pete on July 13, 2005
  16. I find it pure irony that people actually spend time in a virtual gym beefing up little avatars.

    On that mission, I found that slow and steady wins the race. Just keep tapping the gas and maintaining control of the vehicle on the dirt tracks, but you can let rip on tarmac. For some reason (probably falling into the river etc) the other cars tend to ease off as well, so you can keep up a steady pace and win.
    Nice little set piece animation at the end too.

  18. Yeah, I nailed the level eventually. I’ve been completing three missions per evening for the last few days, so I’m now one mission into San Fierro. Haven’t been doing much off-mission stuff though, other than going shopping for some new duds.
    Trying to remember which animation you are referring to – it obviously didn’t have that big an impact on me.

    Pete on July 14, 2005
  19. Destructor: “I find it pure irony that people actually spend time in a virtual gym beefing up little avatars.”
    Yeah, but I now have thumbs the size of conference pears and can take the caps off beer bottles with my bare hands!

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