December 3, 2022

Twitter Highlights from 2020

We have reached 2020, that strange year which was only two years ago but it feels like ten.

So far my New Years Resolution to eat lots of raisins is going terribly. While I ate plenty of raisins in the closing days of 2019, so far in 2020 I’ve mainly eaten half a bag of chocolate covered peanuts that are two months past their best before date.3 January 2020

Life was going pretty well for me in early January 2020. I was staring down the barrel of some fairly big life-altering changes, but optimistic with it. I was taking treatment for my acid reflux, which was working quite well, and hoping to get off of it soon. However I was experiencing a heart arrhythmia, which might have been being caused as a side-effect of the acid reflux treatment, but it was hard to know for sure.

A sitcom about meat but in space10 January 2020

I adopted this tweet format a few times, with mixed success.

New potential employer: We’d like to offer you the job. When can you start?
My imposter syndrome: You haven’t forgotten I’m here, have you?28 January 2020

This is the fairly big life-altering change just alluded to.

The last photo I took of Maisy. Forever immortalised in full legs-akimbo mode. You’ll be missed, you beautiful creature.
6 February 2020

What can I say? This was a terrible day.

There might be a few of these sorts of photos for the next few days. Apologies in advance. #RipMaisy
7 February 2020

Don’t worry, I didn’t publicly wallow in my grief for too long.

A book, but with a soundtrack that automatically plays when you get to the relevant parts.14 February 2020

I think this is better than the meat sitcom idea.

A shower tray that changes colour with temperature29 February 2020

This is useful for people whose showers take a long time to warm up.

I started a new job this week so haven’t had much time to keep up with the social medias. Is COVID19 still a thing?4 March 2020

Let’s assume that I was being tongue in cheek here. Otherwise, mate, I’ve got some bad news for you.

Now my home office desk is also my work office desk, I’m giving it a very thorough tidy this weekend. Very satisfying.21 March 2020

Back when this whole thing was still an exciting novelty that was all going to be over by June.

INDOORS23 March 2020

Ah yes, that bit where we were all quoting the Mitchell and Webb sketch, I remember that too.

Ways you know you’re living in a post-apocalyptic dystopia #557:

@erzsebel (unpacking shopping): [excited noises]
Me: what’s that?
@erzsebel (holding items aloft): I got kidney beans!28 March 2020

The stuff we joked about, eh?

Important lockdown procrastination task #2265: Reorganising this heap of crap
28 March 2020
Immediately I’m regretting embarking upon this project. My enthusiasm has dissipated in nanoseconds.28 March 2020
It’s not perfect, but it’s a whole heap better than it was.
28 March 2020

Can you tell the difference? It’s not the night-and-day difference that I had been hoping for, I must admit.

I’m honestly feeling sorry for everyone right now whose “Discover Weekly” playlist on Spotify DOESN’T include the Baywatch theme tune.19 April 2020

This is the moment where you can see that the lockdown is starting to have a detrimental effect on me.

Things I haven’t used much in the last two months, number 312: portable power bank for my mobile phone15 May 2020

Of course, one of the benefits of the lockdown is that I managed to get an extra couple of years out of my mobile phone. The battery life was in a bad way, but if you never leave the house, it doesn’t really matter.

Every day I ask myself if my son is old enough yet for the chickpea joke.24 May 2020

I’m pretty sure Bernard is old enough for it now, but I’ve lost track of whether I’ve actually told it or not.

The red kites are flying alarmingly low today26 May 2020

It’s a running joke in our household that I’m scared of birds, and I play along because it’s cute.

I think that church would be more popular if they introduced BBQ flavoured communion wafers.29 May 2020

I think I probably wrote this after eating (and enjoying) some BBQ flavour popchips, which are probably the closest thing we’re ever going to get.

I remember back in early March, a friend who was a self-proclaimed expert in virology laughed at my refusal to shake hands, and told me that Covid-19 was no worse than flu.31 May 2020

The word here that leaps out at me most now is “friend”.

My son just asked me “where is Felixstowe?” At last, my years of patiently waiting to deploy that particular dad-joke paid off.8 July 2020

A deadpan delivery of this punchline would have been ideal, but I was just way too excited for that to even remotely be a possibility.

Henry, 10 days in.
8 July 2020

Henry wasn’t the immediate replacement for Maisy – that honour would go to Barney, who was with us for all of about 5 minutes. There’s a whole story there, remind me to tell you sometime. If you’re interested in learning more about Henry, I wrote a blog post.

Waiting for bats.
6 August 2020

Seems like a pleasant little local sunset photo.

Henry did have certain talents.

Our scheduled Thursday evening “sit in the conservatory with a beer and pretend to be in a pub” routine has been undermined this week by the fact that it’s bloody cold in the conservatory tonight.24 September 2020

We introduced this routine during the covid lockdown. Since then, it has gradually morphed into “watch television, just like any other night, but with a bowl of nuts”.

Cream on jam on scone and this hill I WILL die on20 December 2020

This tweet in itself isn’t of particular interest, until you consider this one from less than two years later:

Scones. Jam on cream or cream on jam, makes no odds to me. Not even sure I have a consistent way of doing it myself.29 August 2022

But let’s stop time-travelling, let’s see what our final tweet for 2020 was.

Eating smoked salmon over the sink – can’t figure out whether this makes me very posh or very common31 December 2020

It makes you very “Pete”, Pete.


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