The first tweet in the previous instalment was cat-related, and so is this one.

She was a lovely cat really, I was just having a bad day.

We habitually leave a snack out for the boy’s pre-breakfast
10 January 2014

So classy.

I also had a bit of a tradition in January of taking a week off work, to use up my holiday allowance (my job at the time had a holiday year that started at the beginning of February). Karen and I would often spend this time having a bit of a film marathon.

Down in front! #LOTR
13 January 2014

I suspect we probably did not stop at eagles.

I’m onto a winner
16 January 2014

Leave a comment with your best-scoring word from these letters.

I’m sure you’re glad to know the latest in the beard saga.

This year’s valentine’s day tweet is nowhere near as adorable as the previous ones, and might well be one of the most revolting things I’ve ever written.

Snappy III: The Snappening
8 March 2014

I went through a couple of venus fly traps prior to this one, but I believe that this is the one that still lives happily in my conservatory to this day, and is very healthy indeed. Eight years!

She’s better now.

Things to do for me and Bernard today. I reckon we’ll manage about a third of it.
15 March 2014

I’m loving this one, partly because it reminds me of that lovely little blackboard that we used to have, and also because it’s a little snapshot of the sorts of things we used to (and, in some cases, still) do.

Indeed I did, and I’m glad I did, because I’ve been with A&A ever since and they are awesome.

Everyone has their own version of the “inappropriate film with a family member” story. I have two. I have the one above (Wolf of Wall Street, in case you’re watching). And the other, far worse one, was Total Recall with my grandad back when I was in my early teens. In case you’re wondering which scene in particular, does the phrase “Mmmm you make me wish I had three hands” ring any bells?

That’s what SHE said.
4 May 2014

As always, there’s the traditional livetweeting of Eurovision in May, but I don’t copy those in here because sentences like “Loving the perspective on the postcard #denmark” don’t really mean much to anyone.

Apparently I neglected to update you when the beard returned. I have been remiss.

Uh, what?

Ah okay thanks for explaining.

So I reckon you’ve probably been reading through this blog post at a fairly quick pace, right? I suggest you pause and let this one percolate for a bit. Enjoy the giggle, you’ve earned it.

I had this idea for a cartoon last night. Perhaps a more competent artist could do it justice.
15 June 2014

No likes, no favourites. Honestly, I think this is severely underrated.

Alright stop…
19 July 2014

It’s moderately amusing, but is it a highlight? Hmmm, maybe I should raise my standards a bit.

Throwing this out there in case there’s anyone else who goes through the same.

Identifying actors is one of my superpowers. You know, the “what have we seen them before in?” game. I rock at that. This one was one of my crowning achievements.
2014 was also the year that I started making let’s plays videos on YouTube, so some of my tweets during this year were links to new videos, until I set up a separate twitter account for that sort of thing.

I swear, I honestly believe that this is the reason why we ended up picking Mercurial instead.

This was one of the most badly-run events I’ve ever played at. It was a decent venue, but the compere would introduce each band as soon as the previous one had finished. Which was fine if it was just a choir shuffling on, but most of the acts were rock bands who would take at least 20 minutes to set up their gear. It was terrifically awkward.

The tail end of the year had a surprising amount of livetweeting of The Apprentice episodes.

This got a like and a retweet, and I have absolutely no idea why. I think it’s possible that I wrote this while sat in the school nativity performance, and it had been “modernised” in a very cringeworthy way, in which case the like and retweet probably came from Karen, who was sat next to me. I base this theory on the tweets that came immediately afterwards:

This all rings a vague bell.

There we go, I think that more than makes up for the MC Hammer joke earlier, right?

Just chucking this in there in case anyone else finds this kind of word play as amusing as I do. No? Never mind.

This got loads of likes and retweets, right? Right?

Definitely magpies.

I have a fake tree that I purchased in 2002 that has been used most years since, though this was one of the rare years where we decided to splurge on a real one.

That one was sent at about 8pm.

That one at 9pm

Moon looks good tonight. Taken with a Nexus 4.
31 December 2014

And that’s the last one for the year! Hope you’ll come back for the next instalment.