What?
Cats.
Cats, as in “Meow”?
Idiot. No.
So what are you on about then?
Cats. Y’know. Categories.
Ah, I see. The index looks a tad weak at the moment.
Yes, we’ve only just implemented the templates. We’ve got to go back through the archives, getting everything tidied up first.
Ah.
Also, I’ve been meaning to ask you a question for some time, disembodied voice.
Oh ah?
Is it your fault that my printer rattles as a result of the vibrations transmitted through the desk when I type?
No, but I do know how to fix it.
Share.
Turn the music up.
Bastard.
- Comments: 1
- Miaow. (I feel I may have missed the point, it obviously wasn't sharp enough). - Gordon
Factual Entry
Sky blue.
Earth round.
Thanks for reading.
- Comments: 8
- 42 indeed. - Gordon
- The sky looks pretty damned grey to me at the moment. And last night it was all reddish, b... - Destructor
- it's easier to roll a sopwith. the damn engine has so much torque, it does all the work. a... - red clay
- I, for one, would be most interested to see someone pull off a pear-shaped loop in a Sopwi... - Stuart
- ... because I think we could all do better than this ... - PB Curtis
Old hair, New colour
Anyone who knows Karen, knows that her hair isn’t this colour…

Well, you’d be wrong, wouldn’t you?
- Comments: 22
- Hear that Gordon? You're not his typo. - Karen
- I'm still doing with Karen and Lori. Sorry Gordon, you aitn my type. - Adrian
- Lori and Karen and Adrian and ... No I can't do it.. Sorry Karen, you're dumped. Adrian ba... - Gordon
- Can someone direct that cold shower at Adrian and Gordon, please? - Vaughan
- And monkeys might fly out of my butt. - Pete
Two thirds of an album review
I have been repeatedly listening to the first eight tracks of U2’s new album, How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb, and I find that it is very similar to the other U2 albums with which I am familiar, which are in effect not many, as I don’t tend to think of myself as a U2 fan.
It has a very distinctive U2ish sound, in that it sounds just exactly like a U2 album, in that way that only a U2 album can. In fact, the whole feel of those first eight tracks is that they are more-or-less the same U2 songs that we have been listening to over all these years.
This leads me to believe that U2 have not developed very much since they released The Joshua Tree, which was the last U2 album that I paid a more-than-average amount of attention to. The reason for this general inattention is that I don’t really consider myself a U2 fan, and this state of nonfannishness came about for two reasons:
- My uncle told me that U2 gave money to the IRA. On reflection I feel that this is perhaps libellous, after all they do so many good works, surely that would very much conflict with their stated political stance? He said this a long time ago, but it caused me long-lasting confusion.
- Even once I decided that the IRA claim was complete rubbish, I still found that U2 came across as the Right Kind of Irish, and I remain the Wrong Kind of Irish, and sometimes that makes me feel a little bit excluded from Right Kind of Irishness. It’s quite hard to admit that, because I realise that it amounts to a sort of cultural intolerance on my part, and I feel bad about it.
- Most of their music didn’t really move me. On the whole I prefer music that moves me to ornery background music, although I will accept that there is a place for ornery background music.
So, having agreed that the music hasn’t changed in any significant way, I find myself pleasantly surprised to be enjoying the first eight tracks of How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb much more than I was enjoying The Libertines earlier in the week, and that seems as good a scale as any, despite the usual Uborka tendency to develop complex scoring systems in order to ground our opinions in science.
I conclude that How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb is not a better U2 album, as it does not demonstrate much noticeable musical development; however I have enjoyed it more than any other [i.e. more than The Joshua Tree and various random singles and snippets of other albums], and therefore, although U2 may not have developed since 1987, I have.
- Comments: 25
- Seems to me, Karen, you're just trying to let people know you are ambivalent about U2. Per... - Moosefetcher
- Fair enough, ejh. Hg does have some insight into my view of Right & Wrong Kind of Irishnes... - Karen
- I just didn't want anyone to be under the impression that the years you missed between Jos... - Destructor
- What's your point, Destructor? Surely no-one could mistake this post for a factual piece. - Karen
- There is a point at which the line between opinion and fact starts to blur. "I think that ... - Destructor
Seamless segue…
From people who whine lots, to…
When I was a lad, my parents used to have quite a wine stash. It wasn’t particularly expensive, rare or impressive in that sense, but it sure was expansive and diverse.
- Comments: 6
- Er...white...indeterminate...white...red...red...white... - Simon
- I hope some if it is good South African. A good south african goes down really easily you ... - Adrian
- And I still want that word to be pronounced seg-way. - Karen
- Back in the dark old Umbrella Stand days, that was indeed a weekly shopping trip. I'm very... - Karen
- That's not an exorbitant amount of wine to have in the house. That's just a weekly shoppin... - Vaughan
The Correct Way To Respond To Someone Who Starts Whining About How Little Self-esteem They Have When They Are Clearly Fishing For You To Say “Oh No, You’re Not Boring, It’s Just That So Many People Are Insensitive And Uncaring.”
“Chin up. There are lots of boring people in this world. There’s a very good chance that you are one of them. Remember that.”
(this post was brought to you by the Department Of Posts With Longer Titles Than Content*)
* though I fear that this footnote has undermined my efforts somewhat
- Comments: 9
- /cries - Adrian
- Shut up, fatimus. - Destructor
- That's Dan ... tough love. Or is that rough love ... - Adrian
- We're into tough love. If your friends won't tell you you're a fatimus, who will? - Destructor
- Let me guess... friends of yours, but not of eachother? - Pete
Browser Share
Whilst writing a complainy email to egg about their nasty website insisting that I use Internet Explorer, it occurred to me to check what the current Firefox market share is.
Figures vary, naturally, and someone said something about 6% quite recently, but the statistics that matter more than any others in the world are Uborka readers, naturally.
- Comments: 4
- The Netscape 3.x people are actually reading this site through an inter-dimensional time p... - Graybo
- It's the Netscape 3.x in there that makes me chuckle. - Pete
- *mumbles something about early adopters, blogging, cutting edge* - Gordon
- Oooh, I'm all red. - Stuart
Fringe Benefits
According to the BBC this afternoon, three million adults in Britain have no bank account, and consequently are excluded from society to the extent that they may have difficulty renting DVDs.
Their case was demonstrated by a woman with two part time jobs and “a number of state benefits” who applied to three banks for their basic [i.e. not current] account. At the first one she failed because she was unable to provide ID. At the second one she refused to provide such ID as her “newly-acquired passport” and found the postal application method too time-consuming, and so she failed again. At the third one, the bank would only allow her to have a current account.
It would seem to me that the banks have every right to refuse customers who are almost certainly going to cost them money. And if those people have previously preferred not to have a bank account, what business has the government to quietly insist that they do? And furthermore, the proposal to relax ID laws in order to allow these people to get bank accounts strikes me as a wonderful opportunity for those in the money laundering business.
In my opinion, those who choose to exist at the edge of society should be required to jump through the same hoops as the rest of us, if they wish to be included. I am particularly bemused by the BBC’s assertion that one of the disavantages suffered by these poor excluded victims is not being able to access their cash 24 hours a day; I had thought that this actually applied to those of us who do not keep our savings under our mattresses and our take-home in our back pockets.
- Comments: 4
- Oh, don't you worry about us lot in the money laundering business; we're fine. - Stuart
- A Cambodian friend of mine, having been resident in the UK for 20-odd years (he arrived he... - Graybo
- As for whether the Government has a right to insist that people must have a bank account, ... - Lyle
- At the same time though, even having held an account with one back for five years, should ... - Lyle