July 11, 2004

Massive Indecision

Currently I’m thinking about one of the tracks off the new PJ Harvey album. I very much like The Pocket Knife, particularly as it abbreviates to “The Pock” on the car stereo display, which reminds me of the Doctor.
Or I could choose Seagulls.
But although I have listened to Uh-Huh Her quite a lot, I don’t feel as though I’ve formed a relationship with it yet, and the songs that are my favourites now might not be my favourites later. And they’re not really representative of anything, not meaningful enough, and certainly not as classic as Vaughan’s choice. Damn him, how can I match that standard?

Karen
  • Comments: 6
  • At the time of "Rid of Me" I was much disturbed by the lines: "Till you say don't you wish... - Doctor Pocket Knife
  • If you choose 'Rid of Me', choose the version from the 8-Track Demos album, and then liste... - Vaughan
  • Unless you chose Rid of Me, I think it would be overly dismissive not to choose an early P... - Doctor Pocket Knife
  • Ah, Dry. Other PJH tracks that I have considered include Oh My Lover, Dress, Rid of Me, an... - Karen
  • I think "Uh-Huh Her" is a splendid PJ Harvey album. In fact, as I think I say every time a... - The Pock
July 10, 2004

Uborka Mix CD:
‘Try a Little Tenderness’ – Otis Redding

“That record it’s so about pure things it make you want to cry. Why’s the world so tough? It’s like walking through meat in high heels. Nothing’s shared out right, money or love. I’m a quiet person me. People think I’m deaf and dumb. I want to say things but it hard. I have big wishes, you know? I want my life to be all shinied up. It’s so dull. Everything’s so dulled. When that man sings on that record there, you put the flags up. Because he reminds you of them feelings you keep forgetting. The important ones.” – Louise, from ‘Road’ by Jim Cartwright, 1986.

I’ll admit that discovering one of your favourite ever songs via the last scene of a play isn’t the usual way in which these things happen.

Road is a grim, blackly humourous play set in a deprived northern town in the middle years of Thatcher’s Britain. It caused a sensation – well, as far as any play staged at London’s Royal Court Theatre can ever cause a sensation – when it first appeared in 1986, the work of a completely unknown new playwright called Jim Cartwright.

In the final scene of the play, four of the characters get pissed and listen to Otis Redding – on 7″ vinyl single, no less – singing Try a Little Tenderness. But it’s about much more than just getting obscenely drunk and listening to music – most of us have done that, after all. No, for Brink, Carol, Joey and Louise, this scene is about gaining a temporary escape from the drudgery and unpleasantness of the world around them, even if just for one cathartic evening. And the way they do that is to listen to Otis, let the emotions of this heartfelt song completely overwhelm them, and then almost literally spit out their thoughts in a blaze of tumbling, passionate words: “If I keep shouting, somehow a somehow I might escape.”

The first time I saw that closing scene – not even in a particularly good production of the play, sadly – I got it. Immediately, I understood what these characters were doing. And the song made perfect sense too. As it’s something of a classic, I had obviously been aware of it before, but I was still at that stage of listening to music where a song recorded by some soul singer in the mid-60s – who had long since passed away – wouldn’t even have registered on my emotional radar. You see, I had yet to discover that the be-all and end-all of musical genius was not … well, Morrissey and various shambling and anonymous indie bands. I know, I know, but I was young and foolish. Forgive me.

Otis Redding’s version of Try a Little Tenderness is a masterpiece of slow-burning tension, starting out with a mournful brass introduction and a vocal that’s hardly there, and gradually increasing to a climax where the singer is improvising and barely able to get his words out because he’s so wrapped up in the passion of the music. Remarkably, all this is achieved in under three minutes.

In fact, that’s my only problem with the final scene of Road – how on earth do the four friends work themselves up into such a frenzy, spilling out their darkest and most warped thoughts, when they have only listened to the record once? It does, after all, fade out at exactly the wrong moment: the full band finally kicks in, Otis appears to be in such a state that he’s a glorious mess of frantic shrieks and hollering, the sound is about to become overwhelming, and then … well, then the producer decides that this would be a good point at which to perform the fastest fade-out in recorded history. Talk about ruining the moment. Idiot.

Every time I listen to this song and the recording reaches that brutal edit, I’m convinced that Otis and his exceptional Stax backing band must have done the decent thing and carried on playing for at least another six or seven minutes, until they were completely exhausted. I live in hope of some dusty studio out-takes being found and pieced back together, so that we can finally hear the full, unadulterated version.

Being a pretentious ex-drama student, I will admit to having tried the Road experiment a few times. All you need are some bottles of cheap but potent red wine, a few like-minded friends and a copy of Try a Little Tenderness, and away you go. These days, thanks to compact discs, it’s even easier too, because you simply put the track on repeat play until you’ve reached that point of no return; that moment when, as Louise says, “you put the flags up” and babble uncontrollably about everything.

Best make it the final track on the mix CD, in that case.

Vaughan
  • Comments: 8
  • Ah, Jim Cartwright's "Road" - when you first recommended TALT for the TD mix CD, I had a s... - mike
  • This song always reminds me of a scene from the movie Pretty in Pink. - lux
  • All my Headcoats/Milkshakes/Mighty Caesars records are on vinyl and back in the UK, probab... - Doctor Pocket Knife
  • Thee Headcoats - 'Davey Crockett'. Gosh, what a fine, fine record that is. I'd say select ... - Vaughan
  • I'm currently thinking of something by Tenacious D... - Pete

Phase Three

And so it entered Phase Three, much as we promised it would.
Each week, Karen and I will set a theme. The group of contributors will post on that theme.
There are some other finer points, which we have already notified the contributors of, but you readers don’t need to worry your pretty little heads about, unless we decide that you should.
This week’s theme is the Uborka Mix CD. The Uborka contributors will be nominating tracks to go on the CD, along with their reasons. If we get more than 80 minutes of nominations then I will be as fair as possible when editing for the final CD, and I will probably take comments and my own taste in music into account.
Group members who post will receive a copy of the final CD for free.
My bath awaits.

Pete
July 9, 2004

Knowing mead, knowing Uborka


So, another cocktail afternoon. Let us begin with Adrian. May I introduce you to Juliet. The positions you both assume in private will be entirely your own business, but when you’re done, here is some ale for you.
Miss Karen, who has come to drink Caesar, not to praise him, is intently watching Mike exchange his entire kingdom for a Coors, while the Duke of Rankleberry stoups to conquer.
Vaughan has been served some Galliano to match his cross-gartered yellow stockings, and I hope that he likes it. Due to the ruling that no animals may be harmed during the making of these cocktails, Stuart‘s bar snack has been declined, but his tankard of ale is arriving as we speak.
Miss Pix gets her bucket of tequila, and a dainty glass in order to encourage her not to drink all the bucket in one go. Ade gets his three pints of porter, which is also what we shall serve to Dave, in order that he has drinking company to keep him from sobriety.
A bottle of rather good St Emilion is being shared by Miss Stephanie and Miss Krissa in the corner while they whisper together. If it’s so funny, ladies, share that joke with the rest of the class.
I shall have a simple glass of Warre’s 1977 port, while pouring another for my colleague, D, who is sadly absent. And with that, I raise my glass to you all. Santé.

londonmark
  • Comments: 7
  • Nice imagey thing. That deserves points. - Pete
  • *sniffle* Thats beautiful man, simply beautiful. - D
  • Bottoms up! - Karen
  • Of course you can, Vaughan. Make yourself comfortable. - Mark
  • Thanks. Can I take the garters off now? They are chafing rather, you see. - Vaughan

To D or not to D

I have the honour of presenting D-let, Prince of Acerbia, Act II, Scene ii.
GUILDENMARK
My honoured lord!
ROSENBLOGRAPHY
My most dear lord!
D-LET
My excellent good friends! How dost thou, Guildenmark?
Ah, Rosenblography! Good lads, how do ye both?
ROSENBLOGRAPHY
As the indifferent children of the blog.
GUILDENMARK
Happy, in that we are not over-happy;
On Blorgy’s cap we are not the very button.
D-LET
Nor the soles of her shoe?
ROSENBLOGRAPHY
Neither, my lord.
D-LET
Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of her favours?
GUILDENMARK
‘Faith, her archives we.
D-LET
In the secret parts of Blogger? O, most true; she is a strumpet.
What’s the news?
ROSENBLOGRAPHY
None, my lord, but that the blogworld’s grown honest.
D-LET
Then is doomsday near: but your news is not true.
Let me question more in particular: what have you,
my good friends, deserved at the hands of MoveableType,
that she sends you to prison hither?
GUILDENMARK
Prison, my lord!
D-LET
Uborka’s a prison.
ROSENBLOGRAPHY
Then is the blogworld one.
D-LET
A goodly one; in which there are many cocktails,
words and deletions, Uborka being one o’ the worst.
ROSENBLOGRAPHY
We think not so, my lord.
D-LET
Why, then, ’tis none to you; for there is nothing
either good or bad, but thinking makes it so: to me
it is a prison.
ROSENBLOGRAPHY
Why then, your ambition makes it one; ’tis too
narrow for your posts.
D-LET
O God, I could be bounded in a Livejournal and count
myself a king of infinite webspace, were it not that I
have bad readers.
GUILDENMARK
Which readers indeed are ambitious, for the very
substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a reader.
D-LET
A reader itself is but a shadow.
ROSENBLOGRAPHY
Truly, and I hold ambition of so airy and light a
quality that it is but a shadow’s shadow.
D-LET
Then are our readers bodies, and our monarchs and
outstretched heroes the readers’ shadows. Shall we
to the MT login? for, by my fay, I cannot reason.
ROSENBLOGRAPHY, GUILDENMARK
We’ll wait upon you.
D-LET
No such matter: I will not sort you with the rest
of my readers, for, to speak to you like an honest
man, I am most dreadfully attended. But, in the
beaten way of friendship, what make you at Uborka?
ROSENBLOGRAPHY
To comment upon you, my lord; no other occasion.
D-LET
Beggar that I am, I am even poor in thanks; but I
thank you: and sure, dear friends, my thanks are
too dear a halfpenny. Were you not linked to? Is it
your own inclining? Is it a free comment? Come,
deal justly with me: come, come; nay, speak.
GUILDENMARK
What should we comment, my lord?
D-LET
Why, any thing, but to the purpose. You were linked to;
and there is a kind of confession in your sidebars
which your modesties have not craft enough to colour:
I know the good Pete and Karen have sent for you.
ROSENBLOGRAPHY
To what end, my lord?
D-LET
That you must teach me. But let me conjure you, by
the rights of our fellowship, by the consonancy of
our youth, by the obligation of our ever-preserved
sites, and by what more dear a better proposer could
charge you withal, be even and direct with me,
whether you were linked to, or no?
ROSENBLOGRAPHY
[Aside to GUILDENMARK] What say you?
D-LET
[Aside] Nay, then, I have an eye of you.

londonmark
  • Comments: 15
  • Uh, anyone fancy a pint? - Vaughan
  • Let me not to the marriage of true grapes Admit impediments. W... - krissa
  • I'll have a flagon of whatever Falstaff's drinking. That should be enough to keep me from... - Dave
  • i suppose i shall order wine. red wine, when spilt, dost create the most nasty spots that ... - steph
  • Guess I should order something too. Is a pint (or three) of Porter a tenuous enough Shake... - Ade

A Farewell to Marks

His darkened locks Time hath to silver turn’d;
O Time too swift, O guest week for’er ceased unkind,
Our endeavor together and talent hath ever spurn’d,
But spurn’d in vain; for thine audience and mine,
Popularity, acclaim, adulation, all manner inbetween;
Duty, faith, love, for content barely comprehended or seen.
His writing quill now shall make a pick for teeth;
And, lovers’ sentiments must go unspoken,
A man-of-words, my praise unto him I bequeath,
And feed on my talent, thine inkwell is broken:
But though from uborka to home he depart,
Embers of fire still smolder within his heart.
And when he saddest sits in blogspot page,
Be it story of love, comedie, tragedie or a song,
‘Blest be the man, whose skills mature with age,
Curst be those envious souls that think him wrong.’
Angels above, praise unto him and hark,
I leave for paintballing, and remains only LondonMark.

D
July 8, 2004

Lucky Wander Boy

Computer Gamers fall into two distinct categories. Each category is populated by a host of sub categories but there is a clear defining split at the highest level between console gamers and PC gamers. Console gamers buy mass-produced technology platforms wildly behind the performance of current PC components at a reduced cost and then buy games on cartridges or CD/DVDs at £40 a pop. When they’re finished with the game, they’re stuck with it.

PC gamers buy wildly expensive rigs, customise the internal configuration and then buy the same £40 games. The game’s look, sound and performance depends on how expensive your PC is. Once the game is finished you can, almost without exception, find new content to plug in to the game to get more than your money’s worth out of it. Therein lies the biggest difference between console gamers and PC gamers. One is a casual gamer, the other is a nerd.

Nerds like to be armchair generals. I’m an armchair general myself, and one of the first games to ever awaken this geeky need to order tiny soldiers around doing my bidding and destroying all opposition was WestWood Studios’ Camden & Conquer which was later to spawn sequels such as Camden & Conquer: Londonian Sun and Camden & Conquer: Mark Alert.

The real genius behind these games that was very quickly done to death by every other copycat studio immediately afterwards was to put you in an isometric view of your theatre of war (in the C&C series this is invariably North London) and to make managing and protecting your resources a key to victory. How many times did a game turn bad when you lost control of the local shops and your nihilistic disillusioned LondonMark troops mutinied from a lack of coffee, cigarettes and decent red wine?

Vehicles also played a large part in your success, and being able to transport all your troops from one side of the map to the other was done either by Tube train, double-decker bus, illegal minicab or the latter games included a “Crazy Mike’s Taxi Service” which could backfire with spectacular results. The opponent could and invariably would introduce fetching young ladies to distract your troops on these services and only by using the Chrono-Steph super weapon would you be able to regain control of them.

Perhaps though, nostalgia glosses over the errors and difficulties with the control system. The game would never boot up before 12 o’clock and was completely unplayable after a few glasses of wine. E-mails to the tech support staff were usually met with a recorded message asking you to preferrably send a text message and network play would always see you playing one of the Notting Hill maps when all you wanted to do was trash Chalk Farm.

Maybe the console people are right, maybe I shouldn’t have throw away my youth being a 20th century Sun-Tsu and instead opted for the mindless bright colors and platform jumping fun of Super Markio World 64.

D
  • Comments: 8
  • There's always one. Nevermind. It's done now. - Doctor Pockless
  • /me looks at Doctor Pockless I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. It's just when you said ... - Pete
  • Don't look at me. - Doctor Pockless
  • What's a blogger? - Adrian
  • I thought that was bloggers? - D
July 7, 2004

Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Blog

A classic song from 1965, strangely omitted from the Beatles’ Anthology:

Try to read it his way,
Does he have to keep on writing till he can’t go on?
While you read it your way,
Run the risk of knowing that his posts may soon be gone.
D can work it out.
D can work it out.

Think of what you’re reading,
You can get it wrong and still you think that it’s alright,
Think of what he’s writing,
D can work it out and get it straight, or say good-night.
D can work it out.
D can work it out.

Posts are very short, and there’s no time,
For punning and sniping, my friend,
I have always thought that it’s a crime,
So I will ask you once again.

Try to read it his way,
Only hits will tell if he is right or he is wrong,
While you read it your way,
There’s a chance that comments may be closed before too long.

Posts are very short, and there’s no time,
For punning and sniping, my friend,
I have always thought that it’s a crime,
So I will ask you once again.

Try to read it his way,
Only hits will tell if he is right or he is wrong,
While you read it your way,
There’s a chance that comments may be closed before too long.
D can work it out.
D can work it out.

londonmark
  • Comments: 1
  • i just sort of sang along. i feel kind of sick. i'm going on a d-and-mark-free diet for a ... - k