Ladies and Gentlemen, the bar is open. Sit the f*ck down, shut the f*ck up. You’ll get the drinks in a minute – but if you don’t quieten down, I’ll throw ’em at you.
In my experience, particularly when busy, the best way is to stand behind the bar and yell “What the f*ck do you want to drink, you ravening hordes of b@st@rds?” Of course, that wouldn’t suit you genteel Uborka sorts. So … Continue reading
Decide that for once you’re settled in life, and not really looking for anything to change Listen to some tosspot who says “The best way to handle SAD is to keep busy“ Run round like a pillock for 12 months, … Continue reading
This one’s difficult – being uninspired is a difficult task when it comes to writing posts. However, when that lack of inspiration hits, it’s a complete swine to break. So – how to be uninspired. The first requirement is to … Continue reading
No, Adrian, this isn’t about going to Ikea. Obtaining what amounts to being a very expensive wardrobe is actually surprisingly simple. What you need to do is attend an event at a hotel that is at the higher end of … Continue reading
Note : This was supposed to be published over the weekend, but I chuffed it up. Typical Aargh, the start of another guest week. I’m turning into a guest-whore. *must stop volunteering* And so – with pique and lack of … Continue reading
Well, for those who couldn’t guess, this is the predictable Lyle® post – Swearing for Beginners. Swearing was always supposed to be the last refuge of the illiterate and ill-educated. A “Gentleman” would have enough of a vocabulary to express … Continue reading