Lyle asked:
So….. What *is* the proper terminology to use when addressing…
a) a doctor
b) a politician and
c) a peer of the realm?
Now, that’s an easy, one-size-fits-all question.
“Just shut the fuck up and listen to me for a change, you arrogant twunt.”
Blue Witch asks “is there anywhere that still sells BW Blue mascara? Boots No.7 seem to have discontinued the last one I could find. I hate shopping and make-up counters scare me these days (I struggle with most artificial scents, and overly made up young girls trying to sell me things I would never use). Lots of brands have produced it over the years, and I’ve never used anything other than blue. I did buy some ‘barely black’ a while ago, but decided i’d rather wear no mascara than that. Teal blue just won’t do, and brown just isn’t right!”
Fun fact: my first ever mascara was blue. Back in my early teens, when I knew nothing about make up and never wore the stuff, my mum’s best friend bought me a Mary Quant make up box for Christmas. One of the things inside was a blue mascara and I was instantly lured in by its charms. Sadly though, it’s not been a terribly easy thing to get hold of since then, but you’re in luck now as it was a mini-trend for AW12, so there are a few for sale still.
Superdrug stock a couple of bargainous options, which gives the added benefit that they’re not being sold in a place that stinks of perfume by over eager shop assistants. VML Luminizer Mascara Blue Eyes and the insanely cheap (although really good, if their eyeshadow is anything to go by!) MUA have an electric blue mascara. Boots sell another bargain blue – Collection 2000’s Extreme Coloured Length Mascara. They also sell Benefit’s BADgal blue, but you’ll have to brave a make up counter to get it… or just buy some online without testing it first. The reviews of it look pretty good. To be honest, I thought I’d find more. Maybelline did one, but it appears to be only available to order in bulk from Amazon now! Mind you… perhaps it’s worth stocking up.
Blue Witch asked:
If you could pick any consecutive ten year period of music to live through again now (but with everything you now have, including all the knowledge and experience), which decade would be top for pops?
It’s an intriguing fantasy. Although I would retain a memory of music which went later, I’d be placed back in the musical past, only able to hear new releases after their release dates, and only able to listen to music radio, read the music press, follow the charts and attend gigs from the designated period as it progressed. But I’d have the likes of iTunes, Spotify, YouTube and digital streaming radio to help me along the way.
There’s an arguable inconsistency to wrestle with, too: although free to choose “any consecutive ten year period”, I have to conclude by picking a top decade. Can a decade consist of any consecutive ten years, or does it have to start with a year ending in zero? Hmm, perhaps I should go with the former.
Firstly, let’s block off the Worst Years For Music Ever: 1985 and 1999. I also have scant interest in reliving anything before 1965.
In terms of the singles charts, my golden age runs from 1978 to 1984, which means that I’m well served by the current re-runs of Top of the Pops on BBC4. It’s tempting to land my time machine there, but there’s a downside: I’d be signing up for repetition of a period with which I’m already deeply familiar, leaving scant opportunities for making new discoveries and accruing new knowledge.
In terms of mining poorly executed territory, the late Eighties and early Nineties could offer fertile ground. Between the rise of The Smiths and the rise of Nirvana, I had little truck with guitar bands, and with alternative/underground non-dance music in general. Armed with the Melody Makers of the day, I could delve deep. I’d also love to re-experience rave and techno from 1990 to 1994, armed with the empathy which eluded me at the time.
The Seventies offer my most expansive musical comfort zone, and it’s a comfort zone which is still expanding. Plenty to immerse myself in there, especially gig-wise; I’d be at The 100 Club for the Sex Pistols, the Hammersmith Odeon for Bowie, the Rainbow for Kevin Ayers, the Lyceum for Bob Marley, CBGBs for Patti Smith and The Ramones. And I’d be reading the music press cover-to-cover, too.
Or what about reliving the Noughties: a time where I engaged more thoroughly with a more diverse range of music than ever before? I’d have a road map stored in my memory, which would steer me away from some of the wrong turnings and blind alleys, and nudge me further down more promising routes.
Ah, sod it, I’m opting for the comfort zone, and a nice, neat, decade-shaped decade. Drop me off in 1970, pick me up again in December 1979, and I’ll be a happy man.
Mike asked, “Is it ethically possible to enjoy pornography, without feeling guilt at the attendant exploitation? Asking for a friend, of course…”
The short answer is yes. But, of course, it depends on the type of porn you are enjoying. It might surprise you to know that I’m not an expert in pornography – nowhere near, in fact. I have watched very little porn compared to many people I know and, to be perfectly honest, wouldn’t really know where to start looking for it online without some friendly guidance. However, there are always expert voices to be found on any subject, so I shall point you in the direction of a couple of interesting articles I found whilst researching my reply to you. Kitty Stryker wrote an interesting piece for The Huffington Post last year on what constitutes ethically produced pornography.
When I’ve personally been called upon to describe what the phrase “ethical porn” means to me, I’ve talked about pornography produced with the pleasure of the participants in mind; porn that does not depend on male-gaze shooting techniques; porn that shows diversity in body types, gender identities, and sexual orientation; porn that allows the performers to have a say in how the action progresses and what happens. How is the porn shot? Are the performers seen as people needing to be aroused, or just as permanently ready genitals? Is safer sex used? Do you see barriers put into place on camera, or negotiation/consent discussed? Is there use of sex toys that are high-quality, body-safe, and sterile? Does the sexual interaction end with the “money shot,” or do they keep going or snuggle or kiss?
Of course, that’s from a feminist woman’s perspective and so relates to porn which involves women in some way but, even so, it would seem that there are many producers out there trying to do something a bit different these days. Some companies producing porn claim to do so in an ethical way. For example, Crash Pad Series declares itself to be home to authentic queer sexuality. San Francisco powerhouse Kink.com says it respects its performers’ boundaries and safety, so Ezra Crane decided to find out firsthand by signing up to be an extra in one of their shoots, and then writing about it for XO Jane. He explains:
I think the pre and post-show interviews Princess Donna runs with the models are absolutely important to humanizing Public Disgrace. They establish context for the shoot and show the models as real people and not sex objects (even if they get used as such in the movies). “You are about to watch someone’s sex fantasy acted out in a safe and controlled setting,” they tell the viewer.
It’s not all slick big budget productions in the world of ethical porn though. In fact it’s very rarely as mainstream looking (style, not content!) as Kink.com’s videos. There is real world sex to be found too. In 2009, Cindy Gallop spoke at TED about how hardcore pornography had affected the way young men viewed sex. Since then, she has launched an adult social enterprise called MakeLoveNotPorn.tv where real people – of any age, gender, or sexual orientation – can submit their own videos and receive some of the profits the site makes from ‘rentals’. That’s probably about as ethical as you can get, right? She gave a fascinating and inspirational talk about it at this year’s Eroticon conference for sex bloggers and erotica writers, which I attended, and I really do admire her for trying to do something so wonderfully different. When I get some time, I might check out some of the videos. For research purposes, of course.
Photo taken with a Nexus 4.
We’re on a bit of a convoluted train today, which appears to be stopping at Birmingham, Crewe and Florida. Never knew the Virgin Pendelino went that far.
So, as it’s a rather sunny day here, just outside Glasgow, let’s take over the first class carriage and cause merry hell there. And please excuse me finishing off the winegums while I serve. Your at seat service today will include club sandwiches and triangles of whole meal toast, crusts cut off, and covered with marmite. Additionally, large platters of sea food are available from our well stocked on board buffet, for those (ktd and jonny) who complained about missing out yesterday.
Sat in seats 1 and 2 we have Mike and Pete on the Wadworth 6x. I’m guessing the 6x means they get six bottles each? They might get a bit loud, feel free to kick them off at Preston if they do.
Next row along Stuart and Krissa are drinking hurricanes, and trying to avoid the small rain cloud that seems to be defying science to appear over their heads, the weather is not being kind to them.
Lyle is knocking back rainbow shots. I think I saw some yellow tequila in there, blue curaçao, cassis and creme de menthe. It’s probably best if we leave him sat on his own.
And having a nice chat round a table, Karen’s got a bottle of Merlot, and a straw, Ann has an elderflower spritzer, but we’ve popped an extra bottle of vodka there as well, just in case. Asta’s got a sea breeze, sorry about the broken window, feel free to move if it gets too windy, and Graybo is working on a whisky and Irn Bru, which will probably make him start glowing in the dark soon: handy if the train stops on any tunnels.
Karen asked:
My boyfriend is completely contrary-minded. How do I mend him?
Speaking as the Aquarius partner of a Gemini, I can honestly say the contrariness is part of the very DNA of our relationship. If we’re going out, he wants to stay in. If we’re about to book a holiday in the Far East, he wants to go to Central America. If the cottage garden is looking nice, he wants giant rhododendrons.
(Aside: I once caught him staring out of the window at the spring blooms. “Sweary Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?”, I quipped. Oh, how we laughed.)
Contrariness cannot, and should not, be mended. It is the sign of a lively, enquiring mind, unwilling to be boxed in, and perpetually ready to give full consideration to every option. It’s a beautiful thing.
Embrace the contrariness, Karen! You have nothing to lose but your peace of mind!
ubotka posting on behalf of merialc, who is almost certainly not out of bed yet. Even though she is on her honeymoon, she has offered to step in and serve the drinks this afternoon. Please place your orders, and make your toast.