April 16, 2014

Uborka! Running Club

Yesterday I arrived in Armpit after a five hour train journey in the company of the Small Boy, dropped my bags and immediately went out for a run. I have been planning this for some time; in fact it’s my third visit to Armpit since I started running, but the first time I have brought my running shoes and not been suffering either illness or injury.

99% of you have no idea where I’m talking about, but I’ll tell you anyway. I set off from mum’s cottage towards the sea, then ran north along the prom all the way past the pub to the end that we used to visit when we first lived here. From there inland towards Cliff Road and uphill to the haunted house we lived in after the divorce. It’s still called Rhiannon. Crossed the road to the bus station, then ran through a back lane and up the road we first lived on. Continued up that way past my first boyfriend’s house, through the estate past the school, and round the corner to take me past mum’s first post-divorce house. Down the hill from there towards the house dad lived in with the stepmonster, round the back alongside the playground and behind the pubs, and then past mum’s house-before-this. Tried to get from there on to the disused railway line but the path was closed so headed back through the houses towards the police station, and took a little detour past the converted station cottages where granny lived for a few years before she died. Out of that road, past the amusements, and back to the prom. Turned inland towards mum’s and nearly back to her cottage made a precise 4 miles at a significantly faster pace than I could normally run for that distance. Was it the sea air, do you think, or the catharsis?

Also, and more impressively, Tom ran The Marathon.

Karen
  • Comments: 9
  • I'm hearing good things about Chester and Bournemouth, as well as Brighton. - Karen
  • Thanks for the mention :) Brighton, from all accounts, is a good marathon to do and no... - Tom
  • Ah... obviously, as the uborka! running club, our marathon should be...... Budapest. ... - Karen
  • I'm amazed at how many UK marathons there are. How can we find out which are the good ones... - Karen
  • You need to pick your marathons carefully - Nottingham, my neighbourhood, is basically an ... - swisslet
April 14, 2014

Old Uborka!

Newborka! has been around for just over a year now. Every now and then I fall into the archives and remain lost for days. Today’s accidental trawl through the ancient dust-covered tomes of our history has raised the following questions:

What is the rest of the story about the Ross Noble audience in Stuart‘s flat?

Why aren’t there more pictures of waterfalls on uborka! these days?

Did we ever settle the question of who would be more likely to get off with Rufus Wainwright?

Do people still name their chillis?

And

Is ten years the upper limit for Dr Pockless to remain resident in one country? He’s off again.

Karen
April 12, 2014

A child’s questions at a funeral

“Can I play on my tab?”

“If a girl-brother is called a sister, what’s a girl-cousin called?”

“Are all these people in my family?”

“Why do they keep calling you Kaaaaaar-ren?”

“Can we go home yet?”

“Can I have something to eat?”

“Why did he say amen twice?”

“But WHY weren’t you listening?”

“What are those curtains for?”

“What flames?”

“What are all the flowers for?”

“Can I have some chocolate cake?”

“Who are those children?”

“Are they all my cousins?”

“Why don’t I know any of them?”

“Can I have some more chocolate cake and also some chips please?”

“Do I have any other cousins?”

“How can grown-ups be my cousins?”

“Is there anything else to eat?”

“Can I play on my tab?”

“What do you mean you brought the wrong charger?”

“Can I have some tea when we get home?”

Karen
  • Comments: 8
  • The posh side of my family has never quite come to terms with the commonness of my name, s... - Karen
  • Who says Kaaaren? - Lisa
  • “Why do they keep calling you Kaaaaaar-ren?” was definitely my favourite. - Pockless
  • It's not that it isn't mum, he often addresses me as Karen himself. It's the long, posh A ... - Karen
  • There's some good questions in there. I especially liked the confusion surrounding your na... - Lori Smith
April 11, 2014

Momentu Bacchae

Now is an appropriate time to serve up those cocktails – Late. Like some of the people we’re reminded of. I was going to serve everyone with Midnight Mementos, but frankly they look/sound bloody awful.

So instead, Karen’s drinking a G&T – well, a very large G with the T contained in a different bottle – which is definitely needed after a day with SouthWest Trains. Thankfully, Pigwotflies is helping to get rid of the tonic, although she’s wasting vodka on it. That’s why she’s only getting crappy bar-brand Smirnoff to mix into the tonic. Although it does make the tonic taste (slightly) better.

Asta is getting smashed on Blackberrys (which is infinitely better than a smashed Blackberry) which sounds like a damn good plan.

Lori is braving a snowball, because she’s too much of a lightweight to bother with the bottle of Martindonnay that her other gran drank on occasion. Sounds like rocket-fuel to me, but what would I know?

Gammidgy is dealing with a bundle of meeting numpties, and thus needs to drink cider in order to forget the trauma. It’s a lot cheaper (and easier) than professional psychotherapy. In this case, I think the cheaper and more plentiful it is, the better.

Finally, Pockless is drinking one of Bumpy’s whiskeys (and I’m neither asking, nor making something of it) and Graybo is being brave and drinking whatever I pour. This may be the death of him, but he’s handling it manfully so far. The Kamikazes are going to his head, but we’ll get there.

 

 

Lyle
  • Comments: 2
  • Cheers! - Lori Smith
  • Rather appropriately, I was given a bottle of my Great Aunt's champagne cognac today. I gi... - Karen

Bar’s Open – Memento Mori – Cocktails Ahoy!

The human overlords™ are away today so it’s been devolved to Yours Truly for Cocktails.  You’d think they’d have learned by now, but no…

So. With Mortality being at the forefront of the mind/attention in various abodes, today’s one is going to be about drinks that remind you of others. It’s a bit tenuous – but what drinks make you think of someone else? Granny’s sherry, the smell of dodgy Campari, or something more uplifting.

It’s all up to you.

Because of only doing this now (and later than usual) cocktails will be served later too, sometime in the early evening. (Punsters would suggest they should be served in the mourning, but I’m not that crass)

Ladies, Gentlemen and Others, you’re under bartender’s orders. Name your poisons…

NOW!

Lyle
  • Comments: 8
  • One drink that comes to mind is Liquid Cocaine. 1 oz Jägermeister 1 oz Rumple Minze 1 ... - Michael Cole
  • I was going to ask for one of Granny's G&Ts, but Karen beat me to it, so I'll have one... - Pockless
  • I'm at a conference right now, listening to a talk about numpties who think they've taken ... - Gammidgy
  • My grandma once demolished most of a bottle of martini in a week. When asked if she knew y... - Lori Smith
  • Whisky will cover the greatest number of people I loved. I come from a long line of whis... - asta
April 10, 2014

Yawn

Tell me about your insomnia. Back end of last year, I thought I was cured forever. Turns out I was only cured until Christmas. Last night I was still awake at 3am, which made my 6am wake-up call from the Small Boy hard to bear.

I lie awake and try to do all the relaxing things, to think the happy thoughts and unclench my shoulders. I doze off occasionally and then my foot itches or I need a wee or the cat jumps on the bed, and I’m awake and have to go through it all again.

I know Uborka! is rife with insomniacs. Share your pain.

Karen
  • Comments: 2
  • Just me then? Grand. - Lyle
  • My sleep has actually improved of late - according to Fitbit Flex I now average around thr... - Lyle
April 8, 2014

Funeral

Another of my Great-Aunts has died. I only have one left now. The funeral is reasonably local, and my mum will come and stay so that she can travel from here, and I will go with her. But will I take Bernard with me?

A friend has offered to have him, but I do hate to feel beholden. He had met the Great-Aunt twice, but doesn’t really remember her. I don’t think he would be too traumatised by the whole thing; it’s a service at a crematorium followed by milling around at a nearby hotel. I expect him to have lots of questions of the sort that I don’t at all mind answering.

What I do think he will appreciate is discovering a treasure trove of second cousins and once-, twice- and thrice-removeds. We are a Rabbit’s Friends and Relations of a family, but not close enough for him to know anyone. Finding out that he’s less of an Only than he thinks will take his mind off any flames and godly burning that might bother him, I think.

Karen
  • Comments: 5
  • I'd say go - meeting extended family etc can't be that bad a thing. (NOTE : This comes ... - Lyle
  • Having read this, I'm thinking of insisting on a "no adults" policy for my own funeral. Un... - Pockless
  • As you have another option maybe the sensible thing is to present him with the options and... - Ms Gammidgy
  • I remember being upset when my parents didn't take me with them to a funeral when I was ab... - Clair
  • I'd take him. Death is part of life and we all have to learn about it sooner or later. (I ... - Pigwotflies
April 4, 2014

Smorgasbord

The bar is open, but as usual there is no-one in charge. Uborka! is anarchy! Help yourselves, try not to trash the place please.

Karen
  • Comments: 6
  • Ah, springtime! Imma mix a bucketful of Pimms. - Gammidgy
  • * wanders in looking for champagne* * settles for dusty bottle of Prosecco and casts murd... - asta
  • For some reason, I can barely move after my run at lunchtime. So I'll just take a cup of t... - Karen
  • I thought this was the UK. Mine's a pint. - Pockless
  • I'll divebomb the bar with a Kamikaze please. Pint thereof. Thanks! (And Anarchy Roolz ... - Lyle