June 25, 2013

Where are they now? An interview with Pixeldiva

8657634676_86f4da716a_oAre you living in the same place as in 2004/05?

Not nearly. I started 2004 living in an amazing flat just off Holloway Road and ended it living in a cosy conversion in Alexandra Palace, where I stayed for 2005. In early 2006 I moved to an attic room in Archway which probably counts as my worst housing choice since moving to London. In late 2006 I met my now husband, then someone was shot almost on my doorstep and so in early 2007 I moved South of The River to Brixton to live with him. We lived in Brixton for 2 years before our lovely landlady decided to sell up, and we’ve been in the same house in East Dulwich ever since.

Would we recognise you if we passed you in the street?

I would have said yes, but a few weeks ago, a colleague I don’t see very often asked me if I was a new starter, so possibly not, though it might depend how many times we’ve met in person, and when those times were.

What do you think is the best/most important new technology/online thingy to have appeared in recent years?

For me, I think it’d have to be the iPhone (and the app store) – or applicable smartphone type thing. That I have a device in my pocket that allows me to read the internets, books, listen to music, watch films and television, have video calls with Scotland, or New Zealand or my husband while he’s in a car on a motorway (not driving it, obv), take and edit photographs, write blog posts and emails, track any exercise I might do, do my banking, play games, watch over my infant son via an infrared webcam and just actually send text messages and make phone calls is astonishing.

There are downsides to the ubiquity of these devices, and I definitely have to watch my usage of it when I’m at home and my attention should be elsewhere, but the opportunities afforded by these devices are amazing.

We all had a blog back then. Do you still have one, or are you mainly present somewhere else?

I’ve always had a blog, I just haven’t always written in it. Mostly, twitter ate my blog, or at least, life ate my time to blog and twitter came along around the same time and gave me a place to write in very short bursts. I probably average more words on twitter per day than I ever did at the height of my blogging.

I still, very occasionally, blog at pixeldiva where I restarted on a new wordpress install a couple of years ago, leaving all the archives of every previous blog unlinked, but still googleable.

I started blogging at betaparent earlier this year, well over a year after buying the domain name.

I also recently got access to blog at Medium but have had too much of the fear (or what I write being considered too shit for it) to actually write anything there.

What achievement of the last 7 years would you most like to celebrate here?

I think that’s probably got to be @pixjunior.

That I got pregnant quite quickly, carried him to (beyond) term and have managed to nourish and nurture him into the strapping wee boy that he is a constant source of astonishment to me.

I know people have kids all the time, but I really didn’t think I could, or thought that if I tried, I’d wind up in dire straights health wise – or that he’d have health issues, so to have come through pregnancy and birth relatively ok (emergency c-section notwithstanding) and with a healthy child showing no signs of the kinds of issues I had (or @MrPixeldiva has) is, frankly, miraculous.

Rachel wanted us to ask you about a few things:

I’d like her to gnaw on the meaty and portentous subject of “blogging baby” from her own and the future Pix teenager’s perspective.

Hmm. This is something I thought long and hard about, pretty much since I got pregnant.

I wrote a fairly long thing about it recently, called On ‘Sharenting’ and Shame in response to a hideous article about parental oversharing, but in essence, I’ve been trying to strike an appropriate balance between being me and sharing my experience, keeping friends and family up to date and recording moments so that I can remember them later.

I do so in the knowledge that sometimes I’ll go the wrong side of too much information, but that some of it will be helpful, and am trying to make sure that nothing that I share could be used to shame him at some point in the future.

It’s an incredibly difficult line to walk, because I know that just by existing, I’ll be an embarrassment to future @pixteenager but I’m hoping that I can bring him up to be a thoughtful and compassionate boy, equipped to handle a world that increasingly lives life online, and frequently publicly.

Since I know she’s an avid adopter of the new I’d like to know which of the multifarious platforms and services have proved a keeper (if any) and if so what makes it/them worthy.

Twitter. Without a shadow of a doubt. If twitter didn’t exist, my life would be considerably poorer. It makes it easy for me to keep up to date (see: ambient intimacy, without which I’d neither know the term for what I’ve experienced using it, nor have been able to get to know the author of the term to the point where I could discuss work, childcare and parenting with her. I’d also not have the job I have without twitter, nor many people I now count as friends, so for all its faults, twitter is a definite keeper.

Instagram. When flickr got yahoo’d, instagram arrived to pick up the pieces. I have a slightly uneasier time of it now it’s owned by Faceache, but for ease of use, viewing and sharing, nothing matches it, and the community aspect has been lovely – a bit like the early days of flickr.

Facebook. I don’t really like it, and I don’t use it much, but I’m increasingly finding myself using it on a daily basis to keep up with a few people who don’t use twitter and/or instagram much.

Pocket. A place where I bookmark articles I really want to read and rarely have the time to go back and actually read. Some day, though…

Timehop. An app where each day it presents me with a rerun of my social media postings (twitter, facebook, instagram – and will now synch all old photos via dropbox, though I haven’t done this) of that day in years gone by. I’m particularly loving being reminded about those moments of @pixjunior’s early months which I shared online, and finding that seeing them becomes a kind of mental bookmark for other things. Not all of it is good (and there’s some real shit coming up), but the distance a year affords is interesting.

Pinterest. Lifestyle porn. Pure and simple. For the me I will never be.

Squarespace. When MT died I went to wordpress, which got all nasty and bloaty and I couldn’t be arsed. Squarespace isn’t perfect, but has allowed me to get back to blogging quickly and easily, without a lot of writing html and css, and the designs aren’t shite, which satisfies my aesthetic sense.

Finally, um, google glass – yes or no.

I’m going to go with no. Not yet. I haven’t come into contact with the thing, but everything I’ve read about it hasn’t changed my instinctive *WRONG* feeling about it.

Who would you like us to interview next, and what shall we ask them?

I’d like to interview Graybo, because I don’t think we’ve ever met, and I’m not sure why that is.

I’d like to ask him how he’s feeling (I notice his last updated mood on his website was in 2010, and I figure he can’t sigh for 3 years…)

I’d like to ask him what he thinks has most changed in him since becoming a parent… and whether it’s the thing that he thought would change before he became a parent

and lastly, I’d like to ask him if he’s any idea why my outdoor hydrangea’s are growing like gangbusters, but my indoor one, though still living, hasn’t grown at all and seems to be stuck in some kind of suspended animation.

Karen
  • Comments: 11
  • The Internet is great for that. A good job you can't see me screeching, or hissing (get yo... - Lisa
  • I was just passing along Lisa's nuggets of wisdom. - Karen
  • I have definitely been inspired in my parenting style by Karen (and Pete), and certainly t... - pixeldiva
  • I've emailed you the questions. - Karen
  • You want the long answer? Well, if you're sure....... - graybo
June 24, 2013

Perchance to Dream

Over the last seven years I may have mentioned sleep a couple of times. My difficulty in getting to sleep precedes parenthood, and appears to be a genetic thing, despite having a very different parenting style from my mother, Bernard is as bad at getting off to sleep as I was at his age, and am now.

Continue reading

Karen
  • Comments: 10
  • Yes, very occasionally, sort of. I have a kind of lucid dream, so I am aware of being asle... - Karen
  • I'm curious. You dream of being awake. Does anyone dream of being asleep? - graybo
  • 22 hours a day, only waking to eat, shit, and kill things? Sounds fair. - Lyle
  • Huh. He sleeps like a cat. - Karen
  • I think Pete might have something to say about that... - lyle
June 22, 2013

Birmingham for Nothing

A couple of weeks ago I travelled to glorious glamorous Birmingham on a Friday evening, to run a workshop on the Saturday. The workshop part is the least interesting bit of the story so I won’t mention that again if I can possibly help it.
Continue reading

Karen
  • Comments: 5
  • I prefer independents etc., *but* that "Good Night Guarantee" is effing golden when it com... - lyle
  • Perhaps I should have expanded - I avoid cheap chain hotels on principle. Prefer to stay i... - graybo
  • I really like Premier Inn, I find them to have a consistently high standard of cleanliness... - Karen
  • Reading that Money Saving Expert page makes you wonder why anyone ever stays in a Premier ... - graybo
  • That good night guarantee is pure gold for the insomniacs among us. - Lyle
June 21, 2013

Midsummer Happy Hour

This has been a productive day, with much grateful thanks to the cake-doulas of twitter who helped me to produce what may or may not be a fine chocolate sponge for the birthday party this weekend. I have made the best chilli ever. The physio made my ankle sore but gave me lots of attention, which is a combination that works for me. The laundry is outside, the floors are swept, real cider is chilling in the fridge. Let’s address the virtual drinks, then.

Having commanded everyone to share the happy, we still allowed people to be a bit grumpy if they had a note from their doctor. To the best of my knowledge, the only actual doctor we have here is Lisa, so she had better have her drinks first and then attend to the moody wounded. She and I both took instruction this week from Simon Hopkinson on how to make a perfect martini. The secret, it turns out, is to wash the ice and stir it with a chopstick. To that end, I’ve put the ice in the dishwasher.

Today’s drinks are on Gert, who has had a little windfall and is also on the gin. The first thing Gert ever said to me in real life was to offer me a glass of wine, so this seems quite in keeping. I’m putting her in charge of Pigwotflies, who doesn’t hang around here terribly often, but has invented a proper Parisian cocktail with champagne. This can be shared with the star of next week’s interview Pixeldiva, pink shoed but grumpy, so long as Dr Lisa is happy to prescribe that.

Happily, Anna and Pete can share a whisky and soda. Last night when I was rediscovering flickr, I found photos from the blogmeet when Anna and I swapped necklaces. Sadly I can’t remember which necklaces they were; presumably nothing of great value. If there’s some whisky left over, they could probably let the maligned Mr Sevitz have some of that, after his vigil. I’m going to go out on a limb and state that he writes terribly for a middle-class Jewish male, but a bigot he is not; and many of us know that feeling of being kept awake by internet unpleasantness. So make that a double. The least I can do is stop Graybo from throwing bricks at him.

Lyle‘s vodka-thyme-lemonade sounds delicious, if a little girly (can I say that? I am one). I’m confident that Clair could share that without too much danger of spilling it on the rug. Mainly because she’ll be lucky to get a full glass, especially if he farts in her general direction.

Another grumpy one: Asta, please see Lisa for your prescription of industrial quantities of Mai Tai. Next week will be better. And if you sit near Stuart, some of his cheerful will rub off.

Happy solstice, to those of you who like that sort of thing. Happy seven-years-of-parenthood to me and Pete. Have a happy weekend.

Karen
  • Comments: 18
  • *waves from the eurostar* I am here more than I comment, which is probably terribly rude.... - pigwotflies
  • What is this I'm drinking? It's rather tasty. Happy Friday! - asta
  • I think this is needed today: IT'S FRIDAY!!! - Clair
  • And just for interest http://citizenship.typepad.com/isebrandcom/2009/06/mixologists-and-c... - Lisa
  • and a valium, if that isn't too 1950s? - Lisa

Bar’s Open

Today is the happiest day of the year: scientific fact. Even though I have to work tomorrow, I’m feeling it. I have the day off, mostly for birthday party preparations. I’ve been to the physio and she promised I would run again soon and massaged my sore ankle and gave me lots of sympathy. I have an easy week next week. Pete is feeling better. It’s all good.

Spread the love: what’s making you happy today?

Karen
  • Comments: 14
  • Just saw Graybo's comment. Brilliant. Also turns out then that Ubotka might be a har... - Sevitz
  • The fact that the brutal, 1-2 punch of heat and humidity of the traditional New York summe... - Stuart B
  • This has not been a good week. Not awful, but littered with mediocrity, unfinished tasks, ... - asta
  • Why does Adrian want a brick? I'm incredibly over-worked at the moment, but you tend no... - graybo
  • I bought the new Neil Gaiman book today and plan to spend tomorrow listening to music, rea... - Clair
June 20, 2013

Bison Grass

2013-06-15 08.55.18It was never quite clear whether we were in Wiltshire or Dorset, but it was not particularly important. At one point, the sun came out, and I took the above photograph.
Continue reading

Karen
  • Comments: 6
  • What more can you ask for? Hmmm. Decent beds. Walls. Non-fire-based cooking equipment, ... - Lyle
  • A very successful camping trip in my book. It didn't rain constantly and there were even s... - Miss Gammidgy
  • Pete likes this. - Pete
  • (hugs lovely holiday cottages) - Lisa
  • God, that sounds miserable. - Lisa
June 18, 2013

Some actual words

You know, it’s been quite a long time since I last wrote any significant number of words on this blog. Yes, I know there was that thing last week but I actually wrote that aaaages ago.

You may also have noticed that I haven’t been around in the comments much either. The sad truth is that last week, things took a turn for the heavy. Nothing fatal, I hasten to add, I just got into that situation where small and medium-sized things were piling up on top of each other. Normally I’m a fairly together kind of guy, I take each challenge in turn, figure out a plan of attack, and approach them calmly and collectedly. But last week it was all coming at once, my balance was upset, and it left me unable to function in my usual level-headed way. Fortunately, the combination of a weekend camping with good friends ((the aforementioned Gammidgies)), and the nurturing support of the fabulous Karen and the no-nonsense Bernard, enabled me to kick off Monday in a far more satisfactory manner, and now here we are on Tuesday evening with the worst of the shite already shaved off and I’m feeling quite a great deal better about the world in general.

~~~

Had I written this post two days ago, it would have been just pages upon pages, screeds and screeds of grumbles and complaints and whines and whinges and moans and mithers and all that cathartic stuff. Which would give a certain insight into my psyche while at one of my lower ebbs, it’s true. Whether or not you think that would be a good thing is really a matter of your own personal opinion.

One of the greatest aspects of the Internet is also one of its big hitches. When you’ve got instant connectivity to half the world’s population, you can find like-minded souls pretty quickly. But you also begin to realise fairly soon how unspecial you are. There’s always someone smarter or more talented than you. And there’s also a few million people with real problems, which means that when I complain about the problems I’m facing in my own life, these occasional little blips in a sea of middle-class idyll, I’m aware of the fact that I’m probably coming across as a petulant little tit. Heck, maybe one day I’ll have real problems of my own, and I’ll look back at this post and think “you petulant little tit.”

And this, my friends, is why I can’t bring myself to do the catharsis thing. I don’t think I’ve earned the right.

~~~

Your word for the day is ichor.

Pete
  • Comments: 4
  • Yeah, I don't expect that kind of macho shit from Pete. - Karen
  • Terribly unscientific, and appallingly *manly*. Where's that feminine side? - Lisa
  • What she said. Also, you can't just not feel, on the basis that most other people feel bet... - Karen
  • Everyone has problems. Everyone is on the sunshine-shit scale. Pretty much everyone is unl... - pixeldiva

Where are they now? An interview with Rachel

RachelAre you living in the same place as in 2004/05?

Yes. I’ve lived in the same house for more than 25 years. Except when I wasn’t in the country and couldn’t take the house with me, but that was all before 2004/5 anyway.

Would we recognise you if we passed you in the street?

No. Well, maybe, if you know me well IRL. Few images associated with whatever my persona might have been at the time/s made their way into the public domain.

What do you think is the best/most important new technology/online thingy to have appeared in recent years?

Hmmm. My most used techno thing since 2004/5 is probably my iPad. A loud scoffer at the idea pre-launch I was seduced the first time I ran a finger-tip across the thrillingly responsive surface of an early adopter. His tablet, of course. The best online thingy of recent years without a shadow of a doubt for me is ravelry. It combines my long-held knitting obsession with fabulous data geektasticness and there isn’t any necessity to interact with anyone else at all unless you want to. Which I generally don’t.

We all had a blog back then. Do you still have one, or are you mainly present somewhere else?

I do (www.twistedrib.co.uk), but am mostly an absentee blog-lady and my primary online presence is skype. That would be because of the inter-continental relationship. (We first met, allegedly, in Languagehat’s comments where, it is also alleged, I was extremely scathing. So it took a few years to get going. Had this initial encounter been in the Hydragenic discourse who knows what might have happened.)

What achievement of the last 7 years would you most like to celebrate here?

Probably still being alive. Repeated bouts of an overwhelming desire to be dead have been, well, almost overwhelming. Haven’t had a serious one for some time now which is very good. (I originally wrote “staying alive” but it was too John Travolta. Yes, please thank me for the earworm.)

Stuart asked us: I’d like to hear her thoughts on: 1) pseudonyms and alter egos;

Pseudonyms and alter-egos… a double-edged sword. In my case a great shield to hide behind because I didn’t know who I was after my sense of identity had collapsed into a heap of inchoate rubble. Also I worked for an organisation which frowned upon its employees writing elsewhere. My blog with its pseudonymous sort-of-ego felt like a safe place to express the feelings of despair and death that are frowned upon by colleagues and family because they make them feel uncomfortable. On the other hand being pseudonymous can be like a red rag to a bull for a particular type of person who feels a strong urge to discover “the truth” about x. My protection, another’s provocation. So when that protection is breached (as it was with me) the feeling of vulnerability was terrible. I nuked my blog. Started a new one. Was found there too. An excellent lesson in the nexus of the private and the public and the internet. And this doesn’t even touch on the issues of authenticity/credibility/trust etc which can arise without attribution. I didn’t give a damn about any of that, I just needed a safe place to dump my pain. Mostly.

2) words versus pictures;

 Words versus pictures… not just either or. One result of starting a blog (2003 if I remember correctly) was the acquisition of a tiny digital camera with a view to making it look more interesting. Like putting pictures on the wall of a room. My blog really did in some ways feel like a physical manifestation of a safe space in my mind. A haven, if you like, somewhere under my control that was mine. Anyway. Yes. Pictures were taken and at some point became more satisfying as a way of expressing the wriggling of the inchoate rubble than words. Whatever works, really, in whatever combination.

3) whither personal blogging?

Whither… or wither? I am now a person with a name (Rachel Rawlins for those who don’t know) and in the unlikely event that someone wishes to find out about me they can. Not that they couldn’t before, as the stalker proved, but just much more easily. Therefore for this person, personal blogging means something different now from what it did seven years ago. Self-censorship is active for protection of self and others. However I never really “got” twitter (it overwhelms me) and I loath and despise facebook so I have an old-school feed reader stuffed with the urls of blogs. At the moment it’s a bit like watching connections being reestablished in an electrical circuit as some feeds flicker back into life with the odd new post. My current take on the matter is that those guys at Uborka (I don’t know if you’ve come across them) are usually ahead of the curve and they’ve started blogging again. It’s an interesting project combining a look back at what blogging used to be running in parallel with new and interesting uses of the platform… oh, wait…

Who would you like us to interview next, and what shall we ask them?

I’d love to hear next from Pixeldiva, whose nom de blog/net has remained stable throughout, and has spawned (so to speak) Pix junior. I’d like her to gnaw on the meaty and portentous subject of “blogging baby” from her own and the future Pix teenager’s perspective. Since I know she’s an avid adopter of the new I’d like to know which of the multifarious platforms and services have proved a keeper (if any) and if so what makes it/them worthy. Finally, um, google glass – yes or no.

And finally…

And could I thank Stuart very much indeed for nominating me? and apologise to Pix for not warning her of her task? And thank my dog… etc. I wrote it at the kitchen table without revision…

Karen
  • Comments: 9
  • Ooh... an interview with Pix next! :-) - Lori Smith
  • well done! love that sign, "Pleasure Grounds" .....language we don't use here. This non-b... - lucyb
  • Wonderful. Glad you're still here! And I'll be interested in seeing if personal blogging d... - Leslee
  • Quite glad for the staying alive bit, RR, earworm and all. xxoo - Beth
  • Heh. You are welcome Mr Hg. Greetings Mr Diva. Ignore her, Pix! - rr