(View previous instalments here)
Well here we are, the big “three one”. What an event. In bingo land, this would be “get up and run”. In Rome, XXXI. 31 is the number of regular polygons with an odd number of sides that are known to be constructible with compass and straightedge. It’s the third Mersenne prime, and it’s the atomic number of Gallium. So I think we can all agree, that this is a most auspicious occasion.
While I have been back from holiday for two weeks, it’s taken me a while to get round to writing these up, so you’ll see from the photos that there are a few more holiday beers to get round to.
Drop Bear – Yuzu Pale Ale
This pours a very pale golden colour with a very faint wisp of a head. It smells a bit like icing sugar. The flavour is hoppy, true, but also very complex. It’s quite the barrage of unfamiliar flavours, but they’re all in a pleasing balance. Something about it’s sourness reminds me of a cheap lemonade – you know, the sort that is probably not made with real lemons – and that flavour comes through more and more, the more I drink of the beer.
Free Star – Prime Time
This was an impulse purchase from a farm shop near Matlock. It’s fairly pale and clear with an odd and unnaturally creamy head. The smell seems young and underdeveloped, with some wortiness and also an odd and indescribable fruitiness that feels strangely exotic. On the whole, I found myself terrified of taking a first sip of this, and my hesitation proved well founded. This stuff is vile. There’s a strange incongruous fruity flavour, like the green one out of a pack of chewy sweets, or the “banana” flavoured thing that has never seen a banana but contains something called isoamyl acetate or its ilk. No-one in their right mind would drink this unless they felt like they had done something bad and needed to be punished for it.
Paulaner Weissbier
I reviewed another Paulaner once upon a time, and was not terribly enamoured of it, and indeed struggled to finish it. I approached this beer with some caution, as a result. As you can see, it’s deep orange and cloudy, with a syrupy texture and a head that is thick and yoghurty. The smell has that heavy biscuitiness common to beers of this type. The flavour of this one ain’t bad, I found it a lot less dense than the hefe, and managed to finish this perfectly palatable beer, no problem.
Mash Gang – Stoop
This is an American pilsner with a clear medium golden colour and a very healthy head. The smell gives off a slight sourness, married with a pleasing fruitiness. The flavour gives a nice initial hit of refreshment, but it was then followed by an aftertaste that I found a bit harsh and bitter, so sadly I have to say that this particular beer is not one that appeals to me.
Big Drop – Coba Maya
I’ve started to actually look forward to trying Big Drop beers for the first time, because they’re generally either amazing or disgusting, and so it kinda feels like a low-stakes sort of gambling. This one has a robust head and a deep golden colour. The smell is lightly malted and very appley. The flavour of it is absolutely superb, though the aftertaste does feel a little confused and perhaps not very well integrated with the rest of the experience. On the whole though, smashing little drinky.
This beer is fairly pale and clear with a good lingering head. The smell is a bit pineapple (“totally pineapple” – Karen) with a bit of something else sour in there. Maybe rosehip? The flavour is tonguesmashingly sour and acidic. If that’s your sort of thing then I’m very happy for you.
This one has a pale straw colour and is slightly cloudy, with a compact but generally pleasing head. I couldn’t really detect anything of interest in the smell – it’s perhaps one of the most neutral-smelling beers I’ve ever known, though I had just come in from a game of tennis, so it’s possible that my scent receptors were currently asleep after a barrage of sweaty people and those pungent rubbery grips that you get on tennis racquets. Karen took a sip, as she so often does, and remarked that “it tastes like something’s died on your tongue.” Seemed a bit harsh to me. I thought that it wasn’t so bad, it’s fairly hoppy and refreshing. There’s a flavour of some obsure fruit in there that I wasn’t able to identify. I consulted the tasting notes and it says tropical fruits, mango, grapefruit. Yeah, might have been one of those.
I had a particular interest in this beer because I really want to like Adnams Ghost Ship Alcohol Free, but failed to find myself being thrilled by it, so hoped that this one might deliver. It’s got a lovely deep ruby colour, and is clear with a hint of head. The aroma is also very inviting, with maltiness and a nice warm berry aspect too. The flavour has some promising proportions, but is let down by being a bit watery and metallic. I gave it to Karen to sample and she very nearly made “the face” but not quite. She said “interesting aftertaste. Floral.” To my surprise, she then went back in for another sip, and this time left me with “malty”. I really did think that this beer would make her pull “the face” but I think she’s starting to get accustomed to beer. Maybe she’ll never pull “the face” again.
As I was pouring this beer, that deep cloudy orange colour and thick creamy head, coupled with the hearty biscuity fruity aroma took me right back to one of my favourites, 
This beer is quite pale, and as you can see from the photo, very thin and fizzy. It’s a kombucha beer, like the 
The name of this beer has got me thinking about some of the language that we often use when describing alcohol-free alternatives to conventionally alcoholic drinks. I haven’t quite built up my precise thoughts on that yet, but I can’t help feeling like someone somewhere’s trying to insult me. Good luck with that, pal, by now I’m an expert in the art of taking insults.
What does it look like? A medium golden colour with a thick pillowy head. What does it smell like? Sweet and floral and highly fragrant. How does it taste? An exotic flavour with a serious and hearty maltiness with a hint of citrus. Karen took a turn at this one: “hmmm, if I gave it time, I think I could get used to that.” Bernard also swept in, as he increasingly does with my alcohol-free beers these days: “I like it.” Yep, I’m happy for this one to join the pantheon of alcohol-free lagers that I come back to again and again.
The website claims “handcrafted in the English Lake District” but the brewery is actually in Kendal, so if you’ll permit me a little pedantry, the claim is actually fallacious. Karen and I were struggling to book a table for a Sunday evening in Grasmere, and ended up in a slightly shabby (and not in a cute way) bistro. When we walked in the door, everyone was staring at the wall-mounted television above our heads, blaring out the football. Oh shit, it’s a sports bar, we thought. Leaving seemed like a risky proposition, as there were so few other options. The menu didn’t look too good either – the food options were things like chicken tikka massala, and the only alcohol-free beer was (pinches nose) Becks Blue. But things took a turn for the better when I investigated the bottles of locally-brewed beer on the counter, and one turned out to be an alcohol-free one! We also discovered today’s special was cumberland sausage and mash, which made us a little happier (though the mash turned out to be something that has passed through many stages of life since it was last a potato).
This one poured with a crazy head. I initially only managed to get the glass about 1/4 full, and took a photo for laughs, with the intention of taking another one for the blog post. Unfortunately it looks like the second didn’t get saved, so the first one is what you get.
This is a dark and malty beer, reminiscent of some of the malty lagers I’ve had like the San Miguel and the Brooklyn Special Effects. It was perfectly drinkable, but felt a little lacking in presence, as if there might be a great beer in there but it had been watered down by 50%. Karen’s thoughts: “it has a tartness; a little tang.”
This has a pale to medium golden colour, and smells like a robust lightly-malted German pilsner should. It’s slightly fizzier in the mouth than anticipated, and the flavour has a little biscuitiness to it, but on the whole it delivers what it promises. Karen says “that’s quite beery, isn’t it?” Do you think she might be losing interest in this whole beer-reviewing malarkey already?
